Wow, sounds like you are fed up about the whole thing of having a blended family. I do see that you care , but let him and the BM go if that is what is important to them. I am really shocked that he did not buy you a ticket. I again see RED flags flying. Why is husband relying on BM for anything ? :jawdrop:

I'm surprised he let you stand by yourself in the back of the auditorium. What an idiot.

OMG!!!!... your hubby actually made you stand in the back by yourself while he went and sat with BM???? WTF? :?

I love attending my skids activities, HOWEVER, if my DH pulled a stunt like that I would have left him there and let BM take him home where he probably would find his clothes on the porch.

I feel for ya. I would not do it. Get this though…I had to do it, because EVERY damn sport my son joined (way back when) BM and DH signed up SS also. Such fun!! NOT!

This went on for about 3 years. So I got see BM all the freaking time when I went to watch MY son play sports. Yay. lol

Been there, done that too! Never again. Thank goodness my BD has decided not to play hockey this year. DH can go and cheer for SD himself...and of course see his lovely Ex.

I despise going to SD events. DH wants me there, but I get totally ignored by SD, BM is talking about me to everyone there that she knows. Ugggh...why would I continue to put myself through it? So, now I say, "NO thanks. I really dont want to go"

Same Situation

I don't think you have to go (You, IMHO, won't look antisocial....)
As a step parent, you get to choose when to attend. It's the one single freedom allocated to steps
I don't go to SKID events (Once a quarter, max)
Sometimes, I think DH wants me to act as a "buffer" so that BM/EX Wife won't speak to him.
I love him, but that's his business to handle!!!

Do not feel guilty! Why would you attend stupid stuff for a kid that isn't yours AND get the bonus of being overlooked and treated like s--t by BM? Lets see, kid doesn't care one way or the other, BM probably doesn't want you there, it makes others uncomfortable to interact with both BM and you. Who wants you there? I suspect BF/H wants you there so he doesn't feel like some pathetic loser without a girlfriend. Or maybe he worries about what you are doing with all that time alone. Or maybe he feels guilty about blowing you off on your couple nights to do the endless crap for his kid. All his problems! He can take you out to dinner and the theater if he wants you by his side. My BF tried to pull the same guilt trip crap. He told me how much it would mean to skid that I was there. Hello, I know skid. He won't even acknowledge my presence. All I hear is "hey dad..." when I am sitting right there, apparently invisible. Maybe make some compromises like dad doesn't have to attend each and every little event, he chooses the important ones, and you go to those. Or how about ask the skid if she would like you to go (in front of dad). If your skids are like mine, she will probably say, "I don't care." or "whatever" or "if you want to its fine" and then your H/BF won't have much of a leg to stand on. Bottom line, don't feel guilty. Its bad enough that he leaves you alone to do all that stuff. The least you deserve is a little quality you-time. Last night my BF went to this school orientation thing, him and BM and skid, gag. He texted me in the middle to tell me he missed me and wished I was there. I wrote back that if we had kids together, we could attend all of the school events together. No response. Sometimes they conveniently forget the most important thing. THOSE ARE NOT OUR KIDS! For heaven's sake if they WERE my kids, they would be a hell of a lot smarter, have some manners, smell better and weigh 30 pounds less. }:)

It depends on the kind of event. I didn't want to sit and watch my SD's dance lessons, (I don't even watch my own daughter's dance lessons), but I am actually excited to go her new preschool's open house tomorrow. In fact, dh was ready to swap the days with bm so that she could take her, but I told him, no, it's our day with her, and we'll take her, and we'll go as a family, with my kids. BM will be there, to meet the teachers and such, so SD will probably throw a fit (she is very attached to her mother), so we'll come late, visit as a family, and will let SD go home with her mother. My kids are all excited to see their little step-sister's preschool - finally! After that dump that they call an in-home day care where she used to go, it is so nice have her go to a real preschool!

i have zero interest in skids activities, too.... to me it's just a massive inconvenience.... i guess i am kinda lucky in one way, sd only does stuff mil makes her do (ymca & church soccer), so dh has no interest in going either.. and ss has no interest in doing anything social..

lucky now, but are skids going to end up being homebodies?? cross that bridge when i get to it.... (as long as it's not my home, i guess i don't really care about that either)

dab, you so funny!!! social-checker police..

he just doesn't want to go alone!!

cheers!