I live 8 hrs away from my parents. Yes they consider my SD's their grand-kids. They send them Bday cards, xmas gifts, and request 8x10 school pictures for the "grand-kids wall" every fall. Due to the distance we don't see them often but they do come down a cpl times a year usually and they always try to schedule those trips when we have the girls, and we go up once every year or two and of course we take the girls usually on a long weekend. They also call often when they know the girls are here so that we can put it on speaker phone and they can talk to the girls as well as us. The girls are always excited when "grandma & grandpa far far away" are coming. (that is really what they call them..LOL) Once your parents meet them maybe it will change? Sometimes things aren't real until you experience it. Perception is reality. Until they see you in a parental role they just don't see you that way yet. I remember the first time I took the girls up to my parents my mom was so excited to get to see me "be a mom".

My family considers my skids part of their family no different then my bio kids. The skids won't stay the night at my moms but that is another issue with the skids alone because bm enforces the fact that they only need bm and dh and noone else so they rarely stay the night with anyone. I don't think that sd14 has ever stayed the night with a friend and the only time I know of that she's had one stay the night was a slumber party. My mother is like that though. My brother married a woman with 5 kids, the youngest being born after they met. And she has always treated them the same as my bios. I'm the only one with bios. My mothers side of the family is really close so even my aunts and uncles along with cousins etc all treat the skids as mine.

Yes... all of my parents (steps included) accept my SD as their own. However.... what my SD calls them is really up to her. They are not her biological grandparents, and I would hate to upset my MIL by having her call them Gma/Gpa. She calls them by their first name. It works well all the way around.

On the other side, when I was growing up, my Step mothers parents did NOT accept me as their grandchild. For the sake of my step mother I still have invited them to my wedding/etc. I love my step mom!

BF's son calls my parents by their first names. That's what my parents were comfortable with. BF's son is best buddies with my dad. He greets him with hugs and always hugs him goodbye. They've been around each other maybe 5 times. I think my dad won him over when he bought him a baseball hat at a Rockies game. He is not above bribes. My dad frequently asks about BF's son, then me, then BF when I talk to him. BF and his son met my brother and sister for the first time a few weeks ago. This was right after son said he wishes he could get rid of me sometimes. The next thing I know, I'm hearing all about how cool my siblings are. I was slightly jealous that he loved the heck out of them, but then, I remember that I ask him to clean his room sometimes. They also met my grandparents, and son was introduced to them so that he would call them Mr. and Mrs. W. Grandma was kind of distant, but she doesn't like anyone. Grandpa loved having a kid around.

I wouldn't push them into calling your parents 'grandma and grandpa' since they haven't even met! That would be awkward for all involved. Dh is trying to push a relationship that hasn't even started yet. My ss has 2 sets of grandparents. His mom's parents spoil him like crazy and he sees them everyday. He doesn't really 'need' more grandparents and no one is trying to compete with that relationship. Ss was also not around the last 3 years. He also doesn't consider my family his family. To him they are 'tx mommy's mom & dad'. No hurt feelings that is just our relationship and everyone is fine with it. Ss12 isn't hurt by it since he is very close with his other grandparents. Now my parents are kind to him, give him presents for Christmas, but that's really it. Every family is different. But the way I see it, yes you married dh and accepted his children. Your parents, though, may not have signed up to be 'step'grandparents. It's something that justcame along because you married dh. So figure out what kind of relationship would be ok with you and talk to your parents too. They might not be comfortable with being called 'grandma and grandpa'. They might not fully accept them as your kids because they aren't, esp the one that isn't really dh's. Remember our parents are from a different generation so they might have a different view on things. As for family functions, if we happen to have ss then he comes. If he doesn't want to he stays with dh's mom (ss's grandma). But since ss has barely been coming that hasn't been a problem. We'll see what happens this Christmas though. Pictures- my parents only have bio grandkids up. They also treat biograndkids differently than ss. Ss understands why. Phone calls/letters/cards/emails are sent to biograndkids only. There just is no relationship between them and ss and no one is hurt by it because that is just how it was in the first place. Ifyou want your parents to be more involved then talk to them. But in my opinion dh doesn't really have a say in this.

I do not have any Bio kids of my own and my siblings do not have any children, so my parents are pretty open to my Skids. They send them Christmas gifts and we are all taking a trip to visit them. (They live about 18 hours away) My skids call them by their first names and that works great for us. As many have mentioned, it's different for everyone. Not one way works for everybody Good luck ~

Oh hell to the NO..... my mother would be mortified as to how these children act. And God forbid they should disrespect MY mom. I would be going to jail!!!! lmao.

My family accepted them with open arms. It was awkward at first because my upbringing was MUCH different than how my SK's are being raised and it's been a bit of an adjustment but my whole family has been more than supportive of my expanded family. My SS8 views them as another set of grandparents and aunt, my grandparents are pleased as punch to have great-grandkids to add to the roster, so all-in-all, it's been a relatively pleasant experience. DH and I have a BD2 so we refer to my parents as "Grandma and Pap" and for her sake, my SK's refer to them as the same, although now that I think of it, I don't think SD15 has ever called them anything other than "Rebekah's parents". That's okay though - we'll go to my mom's house for Christmas and they have something from everyone in my family. I don't know how much it really means to them but they will never be able to say that anyone in my family alienated them.

My parents treat my stepchildren exactly the same way they treat my bios. They are all "the grandkids". My dad loves to tell people he has 11 grandkids. Five of them are mine!

My DH's parents are the same way towards my bios. It's never been an issue.

My parents used to be super involved with ss during the 7 years he lived with us. They babysat him (along with the biograndkids) almost every week-sometimes twice while I worked late. SS has spent the night over there when dh and I have gone out of town and a couple of times they even went to his bm's home to pick ss up or drop him off. (she lives about 90 minutes away)-they have taken him to his ballgames and events and have bought him gifts just like the other kids. Then when ss decided to shitcan me when he was about 9-he shitcanned them as well. He stopped calling them grandma and papa and switched to their first names-we still go over to their house every sunday so ss still sees them at least e o Sunday-however, he now says nothing to them. He gets his food, goes in the other room and eats, and then goes to my mom and asks to use the computer and goes to the computer room and stays there the rest of the visit. My brother and sis in law are at these dinners as well and he doesn't acknowledge them either. So I dont necessarily feel like THEY are unaccepting of ss-it's really the other way around.

My parents didn't want me to marry Loghead. They refused to come to my wedding. our first married Christmas, we took the skids with us over to my grandparents house, who ahd met the skids a few times, since we lived in the same town. The whole time, my mom kept trying to get the skids to pronounce her name properly, which was hard for the skids to say, since they all had speech impediments when they were little. The youngest, who was four at the time, just wanted to crawl in her lap the whole time and snuggle, so excited to meet my mom! I don't really remember my dad interacting with the skids that time...

I finally got fed up and we prepared to leave. I whispered in my mother's ear that someday, they would have a little brother or sister running around, copying every move they made. I told her if she ever wanted to be grandma, she better start now, because any future children would follow the skids' lead...

She called 2 days later and said she and dad had decided to be Nana and PawPaw. And they have been ever since. The boys dote on my mother, especially since her cancer. And nana and Princess always loved playing Barbies. I love hearing my dad brag about how his grandson is a star basketball player.

And Gibby follows their lead, and loves them just as much!