Does this happen to anyone?
BM just sent an email to DH that she is taking the kids to SC for the weekend. It is Thursday and they are leaving tomorrow. We are still involved in the CO modification. So the law says you are supposed to get approval from the other parent if you are leaving the county if you are involved in a case. We had to get permission for a trip recently. She did too. Now she seems to have forgotten that again.
I think he should say no and see what happens. Not only does she need to realize she can't wait until the day before, but she needs to get DH's okay. They have 50/50 custody of both kids. But one lives with BM now full-time which is what has caused the modification. She started this. We have made an offer but she won't sign it or make a counter offer. She wants 500 a month in CS and our lawyer says she is only entitled to possibly $97 a month. She has to stop treating DH like a doormat. She treats him like she doesn't hae to check with him.
Does anyone else with 50/50 have this issue of the other parent not informing one when they go out of town? I sent him an email, telling him to not let her walk all over him. He cc'd me on his email to the lawyer that he didn't know about this and this was better than in the past, when she didn't even tell him they would go out of town. She needs to get that he is the Dad and he has as much rights to information about his kids. I can not stand this woman.
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Yes, Dh and Bm are supposed
Yes, Dh and Bm are supposed to let the other know if ss is going to be spending the night out of state. This summer we got a text message from ss from Bm's car, on his way to Bm's sister's house(out of state) telling Dh. I don't think that that is very appropriate myself.
Then, however, we have already notified Bm of a trip we will be taking at the end of Oct. The trip is only for 3 days and Bm is insisting that she gets to have dinner with ss before he goes out of town with us. Um, did Dh even get that opportunity? NO!!! But of course he agreed to let her.
Whatever!! The woman went to Florida by herself a few months ago and didn't even call ss or see him for 10 days. As it is, on the weeks when it isn't Bm's weekend, she only sees ss on Fri. and that's it. She mostly ignores ss because she just has too much going on in her life I guess.
I just don't understand her
I just don't understand her feeling that she is the only parent that matter when it comes to the kids. As if he is an afterthought. I am curious where the lawyers take it now. My hope is that they put a nice kink in her plans and tell her that she can't go without the judge signing off on it.
He should tell her no and
He should tell her no and that he doesn't feel comfortable with it just to be an A-hole b/c she is being one. Then I would explain to her that when she starts being reasonable, then he would start being too. It will make her soooooooooo mad, but maybe it will teach her a lesson. She wont stop treating him like a doormat until he puts his food down, but he has to want to do it and be ready for a fight.
$500 a month for 1 kid? is she crazy? unless he makes a TON of money then she is out of her mind and being greedy. 20 or 25% is all she is going to get.
Funny BM story; My DH fought with BM for 7 yrs. She fought and lied about everything just so he wouldn't be in his life. It went bad in court to were he didn't get visitation right away so he didn't see his son for a while. But, one day in the middle of all that mess didn't this skank have the audacity to have her brother call and ask if my DH could sign a paper so SS could get a passport. He laughed and hung up. That was one of those little things that cracked me up.
It's funny you mention the FL story too b/c SS's BM did something like your FL story. She woke up one morning and went to FL b/c she thought her former BF was cheating on her. Which it wouldn't be cheating if your not together, but whatever. She went down there and up and left the kids during the school year for over a week. She had her brother watch them and the weekend she came back it was mothers day. She came back to celebrate her being non-mother of the year.
We paid $2,700 a month for
We paid $2,700 a month for two kids. And we had them nearly 50% of the time.
We are custodial now....thank heavens.
OMG, that is a lot. Was that
OMG, that is a lot. Was that based on yours and your DH's salary? WOW, that is a lot unless your DH makes a lot then I could see that, but it still just seems like a lot.
My DH's salary. It was
My DH's salary. It was insane! My DH is well paid. But I don't think child support should ever be that high. That's $34,000 a year...tax free!
The day we got custody of the kids was one of the happiest in my life. Mostly because I knew the kids would have a better life living with us. But also because it meant the end of ex-wife support!
There is a difference between
There is a difference between getting approval and informing. You used both terms in your initial post. If she just has to inform him, then it sounds like she has fulfilled that requirement.
If she has to get his approval, do you really thing it's worth fighting over? If you are concerned about the safety and well-being of the kids, it's a different story. But I don't see how trying to prevent her from taking the kids on vacation is going to help your case. It might make your DH look like the bad guy. If it were me, I would ask my attorney before I did anything. You definitely don't want it to appear that your DH is being difficult just for the sake of being difficult. And I'm not suggesting that's what y'all are doing. Just remember that appearances are everything.
THis is not our thing it is
THis is not our thing it is the court ordered if you have a custody case pending. They have to get approval of the other parent and then the judge must sign off on it. Not our rules. The DD says the other parent must be notified. Note: She sued us for a modification and won't drop it until she get CS. If she dropped it, then she would only have to notify him and not get the judge to sign off on it. She has SD14 and has ruined his relationship with his daughter. Originally that was all she wanted was full custody. Then she was told by her lawyer she was entitled to 1100 a month in CS. She makes over 100K a year. Our lawyers say she actually owed DH all these years and he never knew. They split everything.
Trust me he sent the email to the lawyers and they are involved. Every email he sends to the lawyer costs us $35.00. Today we have spent 70.00 so far. Trust me he does nothing that they don't want him to do.
If this was the first time she did this it would be fine. But, we had to go through the same hoops in July. Our lawyer made sure we did everything to the letter of the law. Now it is her turn.
If it's a court order and she
If it's a court order and she violates it, maybe that will help your case?
Lawyers love all the back and forth! More $$$ in their pockets.
I understand the part of it's
I understand the part of it's not fair to the kids, but she's not being fair all-together. It's being put on him as being the bad guy when it's her wanting something and dad saying no. What about being the bad/mean mom? She is putting them in the middle of her drama too and that's not fair. She is making things in court more complicated then they have to be. They will understand when they are older, and right now he will look like mean dad, but at the same time it has to get better b4 it gets worse. So I say tell her no and explain why to the kids the best way possible even if they don't wanna listen. If he keeps giving in it wont help out overall.
She's trying to start a war in court is what it sounds like.