Run
I just want to run away and just forget about all of this I am lonely and no one to go to or to be with... Everything is my fault will always be my fault and I just want to be happy I don't want to compete with SS13 or the rest of the family... I will take the lose and just be free....
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Im so sorry sweety. Please do
Im so sorry sweety. Please do what it takes for you to be happy but remember that that with some people you cannot win and it has nothing to do with you.
*hugs*
My heart really goes out to
My heart really goes out to you! Just remember that we all feel this way at one time or another, hell even all the time who am I kidding. The point is that you are not alone 'cuz we are rooting for you and understand!!
You can find happiness
You can find happiness elsewhere. This may not be it for you. Sending you support.
Thank you for the support I
Thank you for the support I feel so alone most of the time. I slept alone again last night DH was upset with me because I told him that if SS13 needs to be more responsible. DH thinks I nag at him I just hate to see him run constantly for skds that don't appreciate anything at all. I know a lot of it is the age I told DH the other night that I can't stand to be around ss13 he was diagnosed with ausbergers slight ausbergers and my DH along with his guilt allows SS13 to do as he pleases every weekend that we have them the earth stands still so DH can make SS13 happy. SS13 feels the same way about me he is the rudest child I have ever been around and I am not the only one that feels this way. I just don't want to play anymore I don't have it for DH I have lost respect and don't feel any love coming my way and I have sat here and contemplated week after week how we would split. I don't want DH to take me for the little that I do have and I hate starting all over again I never want to be married again... I just don't know how to get out of this... It is all about financis anymore and they aren't that great we barely make it I am afraid he will take me to the cleaners...
DH gets up to go and get milk
DH gets up to go and get milk and cereal for the skds nothing is spoken to me he is just as done as I am why do we have to live in the same house. Oh well, I get to go to work today while he and the skds go to a party so DH can drink and be cool with all of DH's friends... Maybe I will take myself to the races tonight or something...
My SD15 is pretty amazing she
My SD15 is pretty amazing she just spend time with me and talked with me. She understands what it is that I am going through and she knows that DH just has no boundaries for SS13 therefore SS13 disrepects and whines in our home. SD15 states that the way that SS13 behaves here isn't the same at BM, because SS13 is treated like a normal child with no mental challenges. SD15 shared with me that SS13 is jealous of me and my grandbabies. This is why he is so rude and disrespectful. Oh well, time for work.
Amen hatebeingasm, it hurts
Amen hatebeingasm, it hurts way too much! Thank God for my bkds, parents and even blessed with grand babies.
Is this the normal for most
Is this the normal for most blended families. I too feel like running all the time but this house is filled with my stuff...DH had nothing but clothes when he came to live with us. Since that time we have moved and really if I leave I have to move in with mother til I get straightened out. Just a big ordeal and a situation I am not sure I want to deal with. SD8 is just too much to handle anymore. I get smirks from her and he is oblivious to them or just does not care. I feel like his babysitter instead of his wife. He shows me nothing as a wife. I get no attention or affection or anything. Just a text everyday asking what is for supper. We just coexist in a house is all. Right at this moment he and SD8 are gone to the fair with MIL and aunt but I was not invited. Just on the outside.
Hey Seasons and Hrtbroke40,
Hey Seasons and Hrtbroke40, Have you two ever just not put up w/it? There is a song from the Eagles that says, "So Oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and never even know we have the key". Not to be rude, but people will only do to you what YOU let them. I'm not trying to be unsympathetic here, but life is short and you only get one go round!
Couldawouldashoulda, I hear
Couldawouldashoulda, I hear you and feel the song, I let DH know yesterday that we will be evaluating this relationship in January to see where we are at... I told DH we have no common ground and that I am lonely. I cried a lot yesterday only because I want that happiness and I want DH to be happy as well I don't want to make someone drink or be miserable. DH and I had a talk via text... Who knows, I can't give up too easily on this because I did make a promise this would be my 3rd Divorce, what a disgrace I am to myself I just don't want to go through it again... But I really want to be happy and I don't think I would ever ever ever sign up for this again!!! I know that I wouldn't, DH reminded me that the skds are in their teens now and it won't be long and they will be out doing their own deal. Guess I just fear the unknown and the what if's.... boo hoo I am tired of complaining....
Seasons and everyone else out
Seasons and everyone else out there that uses texting as a tool to talk - DON'T - I hate texting I think it is the downfall of many relationships. Everyone don't flame me - texting is good for the kids and parents - but when you are discussing your future texting is not the way to go. Things can be lost in translation, if you are texting you probably are doing something else as well - so you are not giving your whole attention to the matter at hand - and I personally like to see my man's face and his reactions to what I am telling him not reading a text. You and hubby need to have a heart to heart talk face to face. Don't give up on the marriage yet - it takes a long time to get comfortable with each other but respect needs to be there right up front. That is something that needs to be addressed between you two. I have been married for almost 7 years and it has been work - but I take nothing DH does for me for granted and he to I. Our biggest fights have been about SS and I am sure that will continue for the next 2 years until we are done paying child support and he is on his own. And no I am not worried about so snot nose step adult ruining my marriage or my time left on this earth. I have made it very clear to DH that SS is on his own once he graduates we will help as much as we can with college but then SS is on his own. DH and I have worked very hard in our lives and we want SS to do the same. Lucky for me DH is on the same page as me - and your stepkids are in their teens as your DH has stated so hang in there.
its great to know that there
its great to know that there are others out their blogging about the same thing i go through as well. i feel like an outsider. i feel like when were all in the same room im invisable. i feel like when we go out in public my boyfriends attention is focused on nothing but his kids and im only there to give them a rie and watch the bd and bs. i always think of running. but my bd's dad was and is a huge drug addict and i cut him out of the picture and i dont want the same for my bs... i stay bc of my children i suppose... im not telling u to cheer up or whatever but ill tell u with sympathy may u find that many share the same feelings u do every minute and possibly second of there day( or weekend)haha
Season, regardless of how you
Season, regardless of how you did it via text or whatever, I am proud of you for making a stand and letting DH know that the current situation is not working for you! Who cares how many failed relationships are under your belt b/c life is a learning experience. You just at least gotta let him know that you are serious about this (even if you may not be ready to completely throw it back yet, he doesn't have to know that). It's a matter of you controlling how he treats you in other words, what you will allow. Anything less than respectful and including is absolutely unacceptable!!! People CHOOSE to be together, so it is important for him to understand that you won't continue to CHOOSE to be a doormat b/c if you continue to allow it, you are just basically asking him to come wipe his feet on you some more. *Hugs*
I just try to communicate
I just try to communicate with DH when I knew he was sober and DH couldn't yell at me if I pushed his buttons. DH was upset Friday night because SS13 forgot school ID at BM's hom and DH chose to drive over and get it for him so he could go to the football game. I spoke my mind and told DH that I would go and get the ID this time but, this is it. DH cussed me and was mad as I was pushing his buttons on Friday night DH and SS13 went to movies. I did my own thing.
SS13 didn't take a shower brush teeth all weekend I told DH that BM wasn't going to be to happy with this however DH disagreed and said well when I was a boy I would work on the farm and play all weekend he is fine so then BM picks up SS13 approximatly 45 minutes go by and then I am copied in an email by BM. She shared with how egregious SS13 hygene was when she picked him up. I replied I understand. SS13 will not look at me speak to me he is rude and disrespectful I didn't share this with BM I just let her know that I understand and that DH and I talked about SS13 before he was picked up and we disagree on some issues of child raising I let her know that I keep the house clean the skds rooms are cleans as well as their linens. I know that I would be just as pissed off as she was but, I can't fight all of these battles. BM knows this too as she is a SM.
So I bring this up to DH and then his response is to discuss my bkds that don't even live here! Seriously, I am like this happened today with your Bkds mine are not here today your XBM sent me an email about your BM! Please give me a break so DH is blamming me because DH was thrown off his game on Friday night because we got into it.... That is it I am calling this my EOW OVER!! Good Night my fellow SM's and SD's Thanks for letting me share.