When I Need Steptalk the Most

I took a little break from steptalk but felt compelled to come back a few days ago.

Yesterday I was wondering why and this is what I think -

When things are at their worst with BM/skids and even SO I'm here 24x7. When I first came I was on from the time I woke until I went to bed. It really helped to know that I wasn't alone and to read about other people's situations. Finding this place was a life saver really. Until I found it I felt so alone and so 'weird', as if there was something wrong with me for not being able to deal with everything and keep everyone happy. I thought I was a total failure. Coming her, being able to say exactly what I feel was a tremendous relief. Reading the thoughts and feelings of others and seeing similarities was...well, I probably don't have to tell you. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about.

The other time I come here is when things are really, really good in my life. That serves 2 purposes. It reminds me of when things were really bad and I appreciate that I've dealt with some issues and gotten through them and it gives me a chance to maybe give advice to others. Also, I get to keep up with people who have touched my life and who I am concerned about.

The times I've found that I must AVOID steptalk are the in betweens - the times when things are starting to sink from good to bad or when they start to get better, when I've got a plan to solve things and I'm working on it. The reason for me to stay away at those times is because the negativity tends to bring me back down. If there has been some little irritation from the skids or from BM and I come here I'll magnify it in my mind and suddenly a little irritation becomes a massive festering sore in my mind. Ditto when things are starting to look up or if I need to have an optimistic attitude. If I come and read all the stories I lose my hope and sink into gloom and doom.

So...if I'm gone for extended periods it's not that I'm not thinking of you guys or that I don't care. I'm just working on my issues to try to fix things or I'm trying not to get to the point of despair.

PoisonApples's blog
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Ditto Poisen Apples. I

Ditto Poisen Apples.

I often find this site puts me on a downer especially when there's flaming and bashing of people's vents. I suffer with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) so the bad vibes can put me into a downward spiral which I need to avoid at all costs.

I will also scoot away and just 'lurk' around reading everyone's posts, especially when the skid is away on holiday & everything at home is 'normal'

But having said that, I do feel that when I do have a problem, I know where I can come...just need to take the comments at face value and not get offended by the flaming. One has to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge them.

Thanks for putting into words what I often feel about this site.

yeah, I've been to lots of

yeah, I've been to lots of online communities but this one is really special - it's so REAL

Me too Poison… gotta say I

Me too Poison… gotta say I always love seein you around this place. There’s just certain people who always calm me down like a cool drink of water on a hot day and you’re definitely one of them!

I know what you mean though… sometimes I’ll just be slightly irritated about something and then I read what one of my StepTalk peeps are going through and it makes me want to pick up the disgruntled step parent flag and fight the good cause!!! We need a protest chant… come on kids… I’ve seen your creativity with t-shirts… give me a good one!

This site has been a life saver to me!! I am not alone!!