Anyone know anything about Trichotillomania?
SD10 has been pulling out ALL of her eyelashes for about 6 months now. It kind of freaks me out. I really try not to look at her.
DH is looking into therapy (school suggested it). Which is good and something I suggested 6 months ago, but whatever.
Anyone ever deal with it? It's totally bizzare to me.
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DH did this as a child, says
DH did this as a child, says it was because of stress. There are literally family pictures that do not include him because he had a big bald patch on his head. It was a coping mechanism for him. Eventually he turned it into hair twisting, and he would even twist my hair when he was trying to soothe himself. If my hair wasn't available, he would twist his own into knots. He's now on antidepressant medicines and the behavior has considerably lessened. He still does it occasionally but I call attention to it and he stops.
The only stress I recall her
The only stress I recall her mentioning is that she complains about her moms boyfriend being mean to her, but when you ask her the details its normal him trying to deal with her bad behavior. Now, that being said I don't trust the man as far as I can throw him, so while I empathize with how hard it is to deal with her, I know he is not a gentle man. Stories I have heard about how he treats the kitten make me not trust him, and in fact ive thought about taking he cat away from them (stealing it). And since I believe that people who hurt innocent animals have a tendency to hurt other innocents like children, that leaves me with concern.
I am over empathetic when it comes to eye issues, and I am completely self conscious about her noticing my lack of eye contact with her. I don't want to make it worse!
I hope they follow through with the therapy for her. I think there are other mental health issues with her as well. I think its quite likely that she is bipolar. So maybe that can be addressed too.
I remember a girl from when I
I remember a girl from when I was in school--two grades younger than me, friends with my neighbor, her cousin.
Anyway, she used to pull out her eyelashes, and I remember her mother used to make her wear white cotton gloves, ALL the time she was at home, to prevent her from pulling the eyelashes out.
This was the same mother that used to pull "You can't go anywhere this weekend (such as a friend's birthday party--this is junior high that I'm remembering) unless you've lose X pounds by Friday."
The girl was NOT obese. NOT fat. A healthy, athletic girl! I just remember feeling so terrible for her, that her mother was giving her this HORRIBLE self-image, horrible body image...I'd have pulled my eyelashes out, too.
DH's nephew did this for
DH's nephew did this for several years after his parents split up. It wasn't his eyelashes, but the hair on his head. He had a bald spot on one side of his head for a long time. He was in counseling for behavioral issues at school, & the counselor at the school suggested a family counselor to help him to cope with the divorce, as she felt it was stress-related. As he progressed with his counselor, it stopped.
Wow JenJen - that is pretty
Wow JenJen - that is pretty crazy. I did a search and here is the link: http://www.minddisorders.com/Py-Z/Trichotillomania.html
Good luck!
This sounds more like her
This sounds more like her then it being stress related. Although, Im sure in her mind it is very stressful now that she has 2 other adults in her life that actually find her behavior peculiar or just out right wrong, tell her "no" on occasion and are getting the original parents to say "no" now too!
It's really sad too, her eyelashes were the only thing she had going for her beauty wise. She had perfect, thick beautiful lashes. She recently started to look exactly and I mean exactly like her dad (like he does now, not when he was a kid).... its a great look for a man, but not at all for a little girl!
I've worked with a few folks
I've worked with a few folks who had this (mental health). It's a compulsion and can be made worse during times of stress but doesn't happen only because of stress. Think of it like OCD, where the person just can't stop. One girl I worked with had pulled a huge amount of the hair on the top of her head out, but she also ate the hair. :sick: :sick:
Anyway, behavior therapy may help and there are medications that can help too, but please know she probably can't just "stop". It's almost like an addiction.
Thank you! Your post is so
Thank you! Your post is so helpful! She said her eyes are itchy and that's why she does it, but I have not seen her pull ever so I think its either something she does at her moms or something she does when alone. I know she doesn't like the way she looks because she bought eyeliner, which at her age looks terrible on her (too young), but mascara (if she can learn to use it) might be okay. I will TRY to look at her more maybe the more I do the less it will hurt me to see. I'm glad someone understands that about me too. Thank you again, I will post more about it as we go.
Unfortunately, she has no
Unfortunately, she has no impulse control. Thus, why she is so hard to deal with and part of why I think she may have bipolar. Because no matter how many conversations you have with her about controlling her reactions, she understands while your talking, she seems to be unable to do it. She is 10 years old and will flip into a fit if something doesnt go her way (recently it was not getting crinkle cut fries when I went to the store - oh, the horrors I got country cut) she flipped, literally onto the floor, flopping around like a fish, whining, screaming, total 2 year old temper tantrum. So, I dont think she has the ability to control herself with this much either, I just wish she would choose leg hair or something? Is it possible to get someone with to redirect the pulling to another area?
Wow, Skidsmimi, what an
Wow, Skidsmimi, what an awesome post. So sorry your parents never told you it was okay. Sorry that you were punished.
My SD pulled all her
My SD pulled all her eyelashes out back about 5 or 6 years ago. Then...she just stopped. Starting about 2 years ago, she started pulling the hair out of her head. She made a huge bald spot on the top of her head. She has since started letting her hair grow back, but now concentrates on the ends of her hair. She used to have long, gorgeous thick hair, but now it's pretty mangled looking because she keeps snapping her hair off at the ends...
I have always assumed it's because she doesn't have complete control over her life..she's down on herself about her weight (but never takes the help extended to her), doesn't like me (sorry, not going anywhere) and (I think the most important, or impactful) her BM going from man to man, job to job, home to home.
Maybe I sound harsh about it, and I know DH should probably get her into counseling, but I think it's more habit now because of the way it has changed. Used to, she had her hand in her hair every time you looked at her...I mean, literally...she wouldn't even know she was doing it. Now...I see it as a diversion tactic. Dad's getting upset? Start pulling hair. Dad won't take me shopping? Start pulling hair. I guess because she was able to make herself stop pulling her hair when she became embarassed with her bald spot, makes me think that it's more for show now...