I did walk away once I realized my bf was unwilling to make any changes to the dysfunction in his life with SD, his mom, BM, finances. He'd been telling me this through his actions for a long time but I guess I didn't want to hear it. It finally just hit me one day that my bf and his drama were making my life more stressful and unhappier than it would be if I was alone.

I ended things and told him to call me someday if things ever change. He called me a month later and begged me to hear him out, that he was making changes. I did listen to him and he is making big changes in his life (not just saying he's going to make them, he is making them) now but we're still not together. I guess you could say we're in some weird limbo. I've made it clear I cannot commit to him and am moving forward while trying to keep the door open.

Not sure it is going to work because I think things are permanently damaged from all the BS he allowed his life to come down on me. I don't feel the same anymore and cannot really get past the past.

He's an excellent man and person and I do love him, which is why I haven't closed the door completely but I seriously do not know if we have a future. Just trying to do what I feel is best right now.

I really hear you though. Are you married? It would have been harder to walk away if we were married but I can tell you my exbf stressed me out more than my exH so, I probably would have gotten out regardless.

Is your SO making a committment to making things better/setting up healthy boundaries? If so, it will probably get better over time and I'd try to hang in there, but in my case, at least in the past, my bf was unwilling to make any changes for our relationship. That was the deal breaker. Now he's trying but it seems like it came too late. I don't know if I even want to get married to anyone anymore.

Sorry you're stressed out. Hugs to you.

i feel that way once every couple of months, it use to be once a month so I do see an improvement.

When the skids were apart of our lives, I thought about leaving quite often. I watched my DH completely lose his relationship with SD due to PAS & BM and I watchd SS break his heart day after day - DH had custody of SS. He allowed SS to do whatever whenever he pleased - lie, cheat and treat us like crap - just because he was constantly scared the SS would want to go live with his mom which he did anyway. Then I had to watch my DH basically destroy himself over what a bad father he was and deal with the fall out of all that.
We've been together for 10 years and married for 8 and I often wonder where we would be if we didn't have our 2 bios. I spent the first 3 years of our marriage going to school and then I got pregnant - DS is 3 and I know I wouldn't have had DD if we hadn't had DS. Without them I don't think we'd still be together.

I used to quite a bit in the past. Now I don't. My DH is very supportive of me and understands when I just have to leave the room or the house for a bit due to SD---but I see the light at the end of the tunnel too. I have also thought how much easier things would be if DH just died (not that I really want that), but I would not have to deal with SD at all anymore and I would know that DH loved me til the end, not end in divorce.

When I think of leaving I remember how amazing my husband is.I remember how good he makes me feel when we're all alone.I remember that when we're old and retired, it will be just the two of us in our rocking chairs staring at the sunset and by then,SD and biomonster drama won't even matter.

My situation is the opposite. I have codependent tendencies and I threw everything I had at helping my H with adding visitation to his CS order, deal with psycho BM drama, etc, etc, etc.

But now that SD is a teen mom and never comes for visits anymore, and SS is 16 and comes down all the time, the drama with BM has died down...it leaves nothing to focus on BUT my relationship with H.

And I am finding our relationship is seriously lacking in what I need.

The time i was making arrangements to leave and told Dh, just bf at the time, that i was tired of how he treated me was just a problem with he and I. I hadn't grown into my total hatred for his kid at this point, he was just a pain in the ass.
Dh promised he would change and would end the behavior that was causing me so much pain that i would leave. I stayed and he did change. my relationship with Dh is awesome. it's his youngest that i cannot stand and i will bully that child into feeling unwelcome until he changes his ways. i will not tolerate the no showering, the no teeth brushing, the prefering of dirty clothes. i have disengaged and i'm more at peace for it, but i think it's bullshit because it doesnt' matter to that kid. he's just happy i'm off his ass about being a disgusting boy. Dh is happier for not havign to hear me bitch about the kid being gross. nothing with the behavior has changed and i'm grossed out very time i hear hes coming for a visit.
i will welcome ss17 into the house whenever he wants. i can get over his lazyness and only playing computer because he is able to wash himself, brush his teeth and likes clean clothes and bedding.

I thought A LOT about it in the beginning...I went back and fourth about what to do on a daily basis. But, that was when DH was stuck on being stubborn and making me out to be the bad guy and not compromising. But after about a million and one "i told you so's" when it came to BM and SD, and endless convos, he made a lot of progress. If he wasn't willing to work with me and my feelings, i deffinately wouldn't be able to stay and be happy. I no longer feel like leaving, but I often daydream what it would be like without the skid and bm in our lives.

In my life, I was taught that if you think about and talk about divorce, it is more likely to happen. I watched my sister in her 1st marraige where they talked about divorce and who would get what 'if' they split.... Well, they are no longer married to each other. I refuse to think about divorcing my DH because I WANT to be with him. I CHOSE to be with him. I knew that he had kids with 2 BM's before we got married. I love his children and I claim them as 'my own'. How could I not, when I love my husband?

I'm not saying it has been easy.... In fact, we've been through hell and back:
1. new custody order for SS before we got married
2. finding out that SD, who he never saw, really IS his
3. Getting married and having our BS (he was a surprise)
4. trying to get a set schedule to SEE SD
5. finding big enough places to live that we can afford
6. trying to get Custody of SS
7. finding out years later that SS was sexually abused and in turn sexually abused his siblings, in both homes!
8. learning that SS's BM KNEW about his abuse and that he had abused his brother in her home and she did NOTHING for years!!
9. Legal costs related to SS's charges and year long stay in State custody (over $5000 for our half)
10. SS getting out of state custody to live with us full-time with NO contact with his BM... which in turn made it so we don't get to see SD
11. adjusting to life with 2 kids full-time and the rules from Probation for the safety of BOTH kids in the home....

Now, would it have been easier to walk away years ago?? Sure.
Do I think like that? Nope. I married DH because I love him and with him comes 'our' children, trials and all.

Never (or at lease extremely rarely).

I am fortunate to have an amazing partner and a well behaved Skid. He drives us nuts with his teen Cranio/Rectal Syndrome but that for the most part is just because he is a clueless lazy teen boy. Most likely he inherited this from BioDad who is a 40yo clueless lazy teen boy who still has his head up his ass.

I did walk away once...years ago because DH wouldn't take action against his exW and his daughter in their treatment of me and my daughter. I broke up with him and gave the ring back. In one way, I was happier to be done with that drama, but in so many other ways, I was a miserable blob of human flesh. I just tore off a part of my being and now, I was lost. Hurricane Rita brought us back together. (he still called me every single day anyway). His job required that he stay here during the hurricane, and because it was so dangerous for him, it helped me realize that I just couldn't live without him.

I still have periods of time when I think "What the Hell have I done to deserve this?", but it helps tremendously that DD and I still have our own home that we go to just about every night. DH's home is too small and he is talking about adding on...I am thinking of telling him that I don't want to do that....still not ready to live with him..even though we got married back in March!!!

I left BF because of his kid drama too. He is such a great man though. It was the eye opener he needed and his actions show that he really does want to make it work and take care of my feelings too. We are back together but living in our own places even though he is most often. We both want to be together but I am afraid of the long term effect of SDs on our relationship, so I'm going with status quo until I am sure this is not temporary and the changes are real. Sad because I love BF very much.I just don't want it to end badly.

I have been crying about it for 11 years; pathetic - what a waste.....I love him but all this Bs that goes along with it sucks..... It hasn't hit HOME until SD13 moved in FT and my BK are crying and unhappy. Dad isn't willing to change; may move out this summer. I want to live again