Finally he saw it!
So we went out to dinner last night (something I hate doing because SD7 cannot use silverware properly and would rather throw a tantrum than eat what she ordered). SD ordered Mac&Cheese and was attempting to eat it with a spoon, getting it all over in the process. I said in a kind voice "do you think that might be easier with a fork?" and she looked at me, said nothing, and continued eating/making a mess with her spoon. I said nothing, but DH said "Hey 1sttimestepmom is speaking to you" and without looking up SD reached over, picked up her fork and kept eating. DH looked at me dumbfounded. Clearly she heard me but chose to ignore me and go about her business until he called her on it. He said to SD "you need to listen when someone is speaking to you no matter if it is me, 1sttimestepmom or any other adult." SD just nodded and kept eating. So later I said to him, "Now do you see what I am talking about?" and he said "Yes I did and I plan on doing everything I can to work on that." I didn't press any further but I was so pleased that she finally slipped up and did it right in front of him and he actually recognized it!
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YAY for you
YAY for you 1sttimestepmom...it feels great when your DH has your back...boo for me because my situation is just like blender's
it is such a nice
I don't know why, but
I don't know why, but "Autistic" popped into my head when I read the 'juice dialog'. Could it be?
You know,I thought so too,
You know,I thought so too, but it is so misdiagnosed these days I don't just throw it out there.
Another thought....F.A.S.
Another thought....F.A.S. (Fetal Alcohol Syndrom). The symptoms don't present until the child is about 6 or so or F.A.E. (Fetal Alcohol Effects).
(the following from the magic of Google)
Signs and Symptoms
If you adopted a child or consumed alcohol during pregnancy and are concerned that your child may have FAS, watch for characteristics of the syndrome, which include:
low birth weight
small head circumference
failure to thrive
developmental delay
organ dysfunction
facial abnormalities, including smaller eye openings, flattened cheekbones, and indistinct philtrum (an underdeveloped groove between the nose and the upper lip)
epilepsy
poor coordination/fine motor skills
poor socialization skills, such as difficulty building and maintaining friendships and relating to groups
lack of imagination or curiosity
learning difficulties, including poor memory, inability to understand concepts such as time and money, poor language comprehension, poor problem-solving skills
behavioral problems, including hyperactivity, inability to concentrate, social withdrawal, stubbornness, impulsiveness, and anxiety
Children with FAE display the same symptoms, but to a lesser degree.
You know the sugar has more
You know the sugar has more to do with it than most people will give credit to. When I first moved in, before I disengaged I made DH change SD's diet and not let her have sugar at all and now she is allowed about one small piece of candy a day if it has been a good day and a lot of her issues have disappeared with other people, she only still has issues with me. But at school and daycare she isnt hurting people anymore and pays more attention and isnt disruptive or hyperactive.
Yea it became a big fight
Yea it became a big fight over our wedding. DH's family refused to follow our guidelines and they were watching SD. They loaded her up on tons of candy and didnt make her go to bed so she was a total terror at our wedding! Crying and throwing fits when anyone wasnt paying attention to her. Now we only let my parents watch her because they will keep her on the same diet we have her on and we dont get back a monster.
Yes it felt very nice.
Yes it felt very nice. Blender that all sounds very familiar. SD7 has the emotional/mental maturity of a 3 year old. Even the counselor and several of my friends who are special education teachers for elementary schools have agreed to that assessment. It is so hard to deal with because she is so much bigger than even the other kids her age so you expect her to act like a 7/8 year old and instead you get a whiny toddler. I am glad at least one of my frustrations has now been witnessed by DH
We had an "aha" moment like
We had an "aha" moment like this last night!
SS says: "can I have this?" (regarding a piece of candy from Halloween for dessert)
I say: "sure"
SS says: "Daddy, can I have this piece of candy?"
FDH just dropped his jaw. "WHY on earth would you ask me when your other parent sitting right next to you just told you yes? She didn't even tell you NO so why one earth would you try to go around her back???!!!"
SS: "um, I dunno... sorry"
And for the extra point? FDH sat both of them in the car this morning before they went to school and lectured them again on the fact that we are a team and what he says, I say, and vice versa.
Love that man!
Before dinner tonight my DH
Before dinner tonight my DH did the same thing and he told SD that I will not spend time with her, play with her or do things for her until she is nice to me and treats me with respect. He told her it was her choice and she better stick with it. It was great!