Interesting discovery this evening...
I realized the boys aren't underfoot as much now that they are older. It's easier to feel like it's just me, Gibby and Loghead. The boys are at ball practice most nights until almost 8:30, and usually by that time, I'm in bed, so a lot of the time, it's like they aren't even here, or part of the family.
But then there are nights like tonight. We all got home within 10 minutes of each other. I got here first and started dinner. PITA comes into the kitchen, and is totally in my way, but instead of being angry, I try to initiate a nice conversation with him. 16 1/2 should be able to handle that, right? He huffs out two answers, and in response to a comment I made, and the 3rd question, he says, "Don't talk to me. I don't care what you say. You don't really care anyway."
I just froze. I was stunned because I was being nice, and truly meant it. I just looked at him, and said, "Fuck you. I was being nice, ass, because I really do care." I kinda choked up, and my voice sounded teary...
"Oh, boo-hoo. What? Now you gonna run and tell Dad i was mean to you?" and he walked out of the kitchen.
I was pissed and angry and sad and hurt.
And I didn't say a word to Loghead. And I felt horribly manipulated by the boy i've raised since he was 3. But it was like he was pushing on purpose... Loghead knew I was bothered by something, but I didn't give in and tell him.
so then of course, Lazy boye has to come through the kitchen, and add more shit to the pile- Again, while I'm making dinner and being nice. This is the boy i've raised since he was 2, and he says, "Grilled cheese? you don't make 'em like mom does. I don't want one."
I literally left the sandwich in the skillet and walked out of the room.
I love my husband, but I hate his parenting. I hate what he lets them get away with. I guess it is easier to just stay disengaged. Pretend they're not here... Maybe then I won't have to go to their ballgames starting after Thanksgiving.
Little shits...
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I would stop being a mother
I would stop being a mother to them for a while - no cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, being a taxi nothing - oh yeah and that includes the little shit called DH - tell them they can all go suck eggs - and furthermore I would go and tell your DH exactly what that fucking idiot said to you and not give a shit what he thinks and I would tell DH that he can fuck himself as well and go get use to the couch because until everyone can respect you and your place in the house they are all in the dog house. I am not sure where you live but if it is close to me - I am inviting you over for Thanksgiving - fuck them - let them cook their own.
Sorry I went on a rant - I just can't stand disrespect from teenagers especially boys to the mother - how in God's name are they going to treat women if they see that their father lets them treat his wife who is promised to love and honor like shit and not have to respect her - seriously go on strike. Also I hate to say this and I often want to say this on here to many women - and this is not to be mean but how can you love someone who lets his children walk all over you - I think you have to ask yourself - how much you love yourself to allow this man to let his children speak to you like this - you need to take back your house plain and simple - do nothing for them I mean nothing.
Totally Agree!!!! I'm in
Totally Agree!!!!
I'm in South Texas - you can come to my house if you want to! Heck everyone is invited!
Thanks for the Turkey Day
Thanks for the Turkey Day invite! Sounds fun, what time's dinner? LOL
I gave up the Turkey Day mess 4 years ago... We order in pizza. Seriously....
I would just like to say that
I would just like to say that I love the names you've given them. When I read this post I was actually torn between chuckling at your wonderful sense of humor and feeling angry for you. What they did is downright abusive. Little shits doesn't even BEGIN to cover what they are and if I were YOU I would toss them ALL out on their asses and throw the grilled cheese AT them.
Please don't go to their ballgames. They don't even deserve to have you in their lives let alone rooting for them.
You deserve WAY better! After all you ARE a human being with feelings. (((HUGS!!!)))
Another typical experience in
Another typical experience in the life of a stepmother... Sorry for the nonsense you're having to endure. Reading this makes me think of the 2 sides of the coin I've seen in my DH's parenting. He's much older than me and he has 2 kids in their 20's, together we have 3 biokids all under the age of 12. When our kids attempt to say something rude or disrespectful to me within earshot of DH, he immmediately jumps to my defence and makes them rethink their way of speaking - and that's not to say that my own kids would speak to me the way that your skids have just done. HOWEVER, when it came to his kids way back in the day when they were officially children, they could speak to me any old shitty way they wanted and DH said absolutely nothing about it. Guilt, guilt, guilt - no-one is done any favours in these scenarios. Not the skids, certainly not the SM and ultimately your DH will also pay the price of this poor parenting practice.
Last-wife, I'm so
Last-wife, I'm so sorry...what a couple of pathetic losers these boys are going to be if they continue the disrespect. Since they obviously know the consequences of speaking to you like that, I wouldn't lift a finger to do one more thing for them; no cooking, laundry, taxi service - nada damn thing! Leave them some Ramen noodles in the pantry so they don't starve. I feel for you, I really do. Unfortunately disrespect seems to be the norm, not the exception when it comes to these spoiled brats, even when they reach adulthood.
Wow!! They need to be cut off
Wow!! They need to be cut off immediately!! Who do these kids think they are? I'm sure your DH would never talk that way to you so what makes those boys think they can treat you that way? I would tell DH right away!! Don't back down from them! Let them be the ones who dread being home!!
This post knocked loose a
This post knocked loose a memory (from Friday).
We were getting ready to leave for the weekend. My wife detests coming home to a dirty house so we were all picking up the house before we left. Upon inspection the kitchen was a pit. This is one of unemployed SS-18's daily chores. My wife got on him and he got lippy. I stepped in and told him that he would not talk to my wife that way whether she was his mom or not. I also told him he has a choice to make. Be a part of the family and do what he is told when he is told, or leave and support himself.
But ... he would not have the choice of staying if he made the mistake of getting lippy with his mom again.
If I had gotten lippy with my mom the way your SS's got lippy with you I would have been eating the spatula she was using on the grilled cheese. Then I would have had to deal with Dad when he got home. HOLY SHIT!!! :jawdrop: I would have been one very cold, hungry, naked and bruised young man if I had pulled that crap with my mom. I did have my episodes with mom as a teen and I remember and regret them. Nothing like what your SSs pulled with you but I had my issues.
I would have booted the worthless POS 16.5yo out immediately. The handle of the Spatula protruding from his ass would have given you really good leverage for pitching his lippy ass out the door.
The next time SS16 comes in your door, throw his ass out personally and lock the door. Don’t discuss it with DH first, just do it. When SS-16 starts crying tell him this is your decision and tha this dad knows nothing about it. When DH asks what is up, I would tell DH to go talk to the kid about it. Then let your DH know that if the asshole sets foot in your house again without apologizing and begging your forgiveness that he will bet a frying pan up against his cranium every time you see him.
I would have ZERO tolerance for this crap and no regrets about laying the spatula up side his head.
Good luck.
OMG I'm so sorry! I would
OMG I'm so sorry! I would have knocked that kid into next week with that frying pan. WOW! Unfrickin believable. YES you should tell DH what happened and then wherever SSs are right now i'd go drag their little asses out of the house and lock them out.