Oh how I can relate to this thread. Wow. It's almost like I could have written it myself except there is no b-day party involved in my life right now. LOL DH was just telling me a couple of days ago that my disengaging is not doing any good. Well, excuse me, but it's doing wonders for me! I'm happier, I have peace in my home FINALLY, and I have no desire whatsoever to go back to the way things were. I tried to talk to DH when I first started disengaging telling him that if he would back me up and stop sucking up to SD20 and letting her talk to him like a piece of sh** she would change a heck of a lot quicker than if it's just ME. After all, I am just the bitch that she believes controlled her daddy for the last 11 years... funny he didn't address that statement with her at all so you KNOW she believes it now. LOL Display a little tough love by telling her that if she continues to talk to this family like she does, she won't be a part of it. But no. "She is my daughter and I will not cut her off" he said. FINE. Don't cut her off. You can go see her at her place, but she is NOT coming here. Even if I'm NOT here because I don't want her negativity in my house. When she's here it just leaves this negative energy that lingers here... probably sounds nuts, but it's true. DH keeps coming at me like I need to fix something and I told him straight up that this is NOT my problem to fix. It's his lack of discipline over the years that has created this monster and if he wants things to be better than he best find some way to parent his 20 year old 3 year old about her attitude.

I find it hilarious that you are getting crap for not going to a b-day party, when DH doesn't even have plans to be there long. I guess poker is a better excuse than the sk treating you like crap??? ROFLMAO You just can't fix crazy and there's no cure for stupid.

The come back to bite you in the ass statement... also hilarious. How is it going to bite you in the ass any worse than it did before when you were doing what was expected of you and you STILL got crap? At least this time you don't have to directly deal with the BS and you are saving your own well-being by not being involved. In my situation, dh has clearly made his kids #1 in his life and I have finally decided to follow his lead by putting MY kids #1 in mine. I now do NOTHING for sk's at all. Christmas... I told dh that my kids are covered (WELL covered) and he can take care of HIS kids. He found out what I was doing for my kids and now he's whining that he doesn't know where he's going to get money for Christmas presents. Sucks for him I guess, but me and my #1 priorities will have a FANTASTIC and PEACEFUL holiday! I know in my case I don't feel anything biting me in the ass and something tells me that you won't either.

Wow...mad at you for not going to a party!! Oh well..eh? }:)

I have no intentions of getting my SD anything for Christmas or her birthday which is 2 weeks later.

Oh well..eh? }:)

All due to her treatment of me..you treat me like shit, you get shit.

My new mantra in life...like it? }:)

Yeah I have been there. I love my step kids and they are great. all my issues are with their father. This last year he has been extremely easy to upset. I am not sure what his deal is or what is up but he needs to figure it out. He was saying it was because of him being jobless. Mind you he has never put in an application(I do all of that) so how did he expect to get a job without trying. Now he has a job and he hates it so who knows. We got into it yesterday and now I am sleeping on the couch not the bed that I bought??? In your situation I think you need to tell him that you don't have to put up with the attitude from a grown women. So as long as she has an attitude then her and you will never get along. She starts acting like a normal person maybe you can get along.