BM made SD cry, all because she's jealous of me
SD went to BM's last week. She was telling BM about a project we did, and said she made it with "mom." Insane jealous BM flips out, and says to SD, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING MOM?!" SD burst into tears and says "sometimes I call Marla stepmom." (true) BM calls DH to demand why SD calls me mom. DH tells her SD has NEVER called me mom, except by accident, and I never told SD to call me mom. BM is just freaking out bc when her son was SD's age, he started calling his SM "mom." Her son's dad and SM are stupid people who have always tried to keep BM out of her son's life, and we have NEVER done that with SD. So she always freaks out and thinks we will do the same thing and it pisses me off! At least let us do something wrong before you act like a bitch and treat us like your trailer park ex and his wife! We have NEVER in any way tried to make SD think negatively about BM, but now that BM freaked out, SD knows BM doesn't like me! I will be pissed if this makes SD feel guilty about loving me!
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Poor you and SD! What a
Poor you and SD! What a bitch! As a BM myself, one of my greatest hopes was that XH2 would find another woman stupid enough to marry him and in my fantasy world she would be the one I could communicate with and my kids would have two sets of parents! I have always told mine that it's ok! I know I'm their mom and they love me. They love their dads, too.
When XH 1 was married to his W2, she was so cool and I really liked her. She would actually ask me what the rules were in my house about bed times and such! I told her when they were with her, it's her house, her rules, but don't let them pull any crap on you and tell you I said something was ok.
My kids gave her (at my suggestion) mothers day cards on mothers day, too! They would come over and visit at Christmas and bring presents for the kids (BOTH of my boys, not just his) and all the kids were welcome at either place any time. It was great and everyone was happy!
Why must kids get poisoned by divorce? Normally they would be happy to be loved by all, but some stupid adult always has to warp them or mind fuck them in one way or another.
My two year old SS has
My two year old SS has started calling me "Mommy". My DH is encouraging it. I am not, because I can see something like what you are going through happening in the future. So sad that kids suffer when the adults have issues . . .
THIS KIND OF ACTION FROM ANY
THIS KIND OF ACTION FROM ANY BM IS BULLSHIT!!!!
Why do they not for one moment consider their kids feelings instead of only their own?!?!?!?
My SS both call me by my name. When DH and I married BM wanted them to continue calling me Ms. Name. I told DH they could just call me by my name without Ms. preceding it. For instance if we are out as family I didn't want them to say Dad and Ms. Name. I would prefer Dad and Name. I'm sure BMs intent was to try to keep as much emotional distance as possible.
A few years later SS9 who was about 5, started calling me Mom during our family vacation. I did take the time to explain to him that BM is his Mom and DH is his Dad, but he continued to do it anyway. DH and I discussed briefly and concluded that we didn't mind, since neither of us were TEACHING him to do it.
BM flipped her lid. She called DH whom she told me wouldn't listen to her and just pissed her off more. Then she called me and was yelling- I finally told her to shut the hell up and listen to what I was going to say and then I was going to hang up. I told her that we didn't teach him, and what I had talked with him about when he started it. I told her that she was well aware that I am a BM and I understood her feeling uneasy about her kids calling someone else just "Mom". She calmed down, apologized for her outburst and thanked me so I hung up.
Note: My boys call their SM by her name and sometimes Mom. I don't get all out of whack. I KNOW who their MOM is. I was there for it, I recall specifically giving birth to them.
This is where the PASing against SM came on full steam ahead. She had a "talk" with the ss's about it. To sum it up, to this day almost 5 years later, if ss9 occasionly calls me Mom, SS12 chastises him and tells him "You better stop that, you know that makes Mom upset and hurts her feelings!" -- Really Really sad that she would guilt her children that way.
THANK YOU!! Glad I'm not the
THANK YOU!! Glad I'm not the only one who feels that way! The crazy thing is in this instance, I'm sure SD just accidentally said it, how will BM behave when she starts doing it for real?? DH and I decided to not encourage OR discourage it, if it happens it happens. I'm not going to tell her NO DON'T CALL ME MOM I'M NOT YOUR MOM! bc I wouldn't want her to think we don't have that kind of relationship. I AM the MOM of my house! I've never seen evidence of BM PASing SD before, but I have seen her do it like crazy with her son, so I know she's capable of it! That poor poor boy is getting PASed out from both his homes and it's so sad to watch!
oh lord MOM is just a word!
oh lord MOM is just a word! im not a bm yet, but I dont think I would throw a hissy fit if my child started calling SM mom (not that I think that me and dh will get divorced but if it happens...), because they know who gave birth to them and I know it too. and if SM is a good woman than I would be happy that my child has a good influence in her life!
Bitch is just a word, too.
Bitch is just a word, too. }:) Some deserve one name more than the other.