A little bit of fallout from my childish interaction with BM
During our battle of words last week BM was complaining about how I'm 'deceitful' and doing things behind her back like taking SS to get contacts, getting SD a cellphone, etc. DH actually is the one that did these things but of course it must be the evil wife's fault.
So, during the conversation I told her that we had an eye exam appointment scheduled for SD on December 20th so that she could get contacts. That way she could be prepared to pay for her 1/2. To repay me for doing as she requested the stupid BITCH takes SD to the eye doctor TODAY and uses MY INSURANCE to file the claim for SD's eye exam and LENSES AND FRAMES! So, now we can't get contacts for SD13 because Queen BITCH used our annual benefit that is good for contacts OR glasses on another freaking pair of glasses. She's 13, has braces and glasses, and plays sports and is constantly breaking her frames. The cost of replacing/fixing them makes it more cost effective to get her some contacts, plus SD13 wants contacts because she's a freaking teenage girl. But NOOOOOOO, Bitch-face would rather make her DD wear glasses for another year so that she can spite DH and me and show us how she's IN CONTROL and THE PRIMARY PARENT. I don't have the money to spend to buy contacts for SD when they aren't covered by the insurance, so SD is the only one that gets hurt in this scenario.
I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.....and I hope that there's a special place in HELL for people like this.
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there's GOTTA be something
there's GOTTA be something you can do. I think you should try what Rags said. she used YOUR insurance without your permission. and when I was 12 I begged my mom for contacts as well, I hated glasses I felt like a nerd, and plus I was in softball and the helmet we had to wear when batting always pinched my face where my glasses were and the sun sometimes made a glare. I cant believe bm did that to sd!
I don't think what Rags
I don't think what Rags suggested will work. It sounds good. But I think the fact that she used the benefits for someone who is a covered dependent would negate the ability to file charges for insurance fraud. Fair or not, I just don't think you'll win that.
If she is the custodial parent, the court would likely side with her on the glasses vs. contacts issue. Again, it sucks. But the argument would be that as the primary custodial parent, she has the day-to-day responsibility of ensuring that the contacts are used properly. I've seen that work with something as simply as ear piercings.
I know you are frustrated....and very rightly so. But all you can do is try, right? And your SD knows that you tried.
I think what rags said will
I think what rags said will work out well for you. Do you have a CO? If you do, there should be something in it about medical appointments. You can't just schedule them without giving the other parent notice first. Especually if she is not the carrier of that insurance. I could understand if it was an emergancy. But no court in their right mind is going to allow this. At least one would think. You need to get documentation that you had already scheduled the appointment from the doctors office. I'm sure if you look through your phone records the call that you made will be on it. Hopefully it was done via text and you still have it where you notified her of the appointment.
You had no previous knowledge that this was going to happen, nor did you give her the okay to use the insurance. I say screw that bi!$t. You say that it's all about control. I say take the power back. Show her where her place is.
In every courtroom I've been
In every courtroom I've been in, BM would get by with this without a judge even blinking. And, he might actually admonish SM for taking the child to the doctor at all.
Unfair? Yes. But unfortunately, most U.S. courts are very pro BM.
I would definitely talk to my attorney to see if he has suggestions. But I wouldn't call the insurance carrier without asking the attorney first.
Another comment, the phone
Another comment, the phone records may not show the conversation, but how often do you talk with her?
It'll be pretty convenient that the conversation took place after the appointment was scheduled and pretty hard for her to explain.