How old is she?

Scop up as much as you can and put the urn up high.

And when she is a brattina when she is older you can tell the 'funny little story' about how she tipped out an old lady's ashes and ran her hands through it. CRINGE!

In fact you maqy have a blackmail card there.

Urns are sealed.For the very reason of if they are dropped,they won't spill dead person all over the rug.It isn't like a jar of powdered sugar or something...they take steps to make sure the individuals remains are kept safe from accidents like this.
If I were you I would be directing my anger at the funeral director in charge of making sure that urn was sealed properly.A child doesn't understand that an entire person now resides in a pretty 'jar'.Of course she thought it was sand.
And if this urn is so dear to your heart,I would think you would place it somewhere safe knowing you have a young stepchild running around.

i'd be screaming at dh for dicipline action and funeral home for not sealing it properly

with all due respect the though of someone playing in somebody's ashes is just :sick: