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EX-Wife Hell

Rose 0514's picture

Submitted by Rose 0514 on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:53pm

:?
My boyfreinds exwife and his whole family have mental issues. The ex-wife leads the way. His kids are grown up yet play her games. I love him yet it is not enogugh. She tells the kids if they accept me they will be out of her life. When that does not work then she tells them she is going to kill herself. She walks in my ex-husbands house and paints pictures for him and hangs them everywhere. She leaves love notes everywhere. and get this she has a boyfriend. the kids like me one minine and then the next they hate me. I think my boyfriend likes all these games because why hide her love notes and pictures. He says he just can not throw them away because it is the kids mom. I am so close to leaving but I have said this so many times. But this time the kids are not talking to him and deep down he blames me... :0( Why I have no ideal he was the one who was interseted in me.. any advice?

Comments

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 7:37am

With some guys, the SM is able to get his balls back from BM and all is well.

These are the guys who are NOT hiding love notes and pictures from BM.

Time to leave, honey.

distorted reality's picture

Submitted by distorted reality on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 8:12am

I have to agree with the others here. This is not likely to change until and unless your bf decides to change it. He has no clear boundaries with his ex and it certainly shows. He is hiding an inappropriate ongoing relationship with her and expecting you to accept it. He'll tell you he hides it to keep from ruffling HER feathers, to keep from upsetting THEIR kids, to keep YOU from getting angry. Excuses, excuses, excuses. It all boils down to HIM and what HE'S going to do about it. It isn't all that difficult to put new locks on the door to keep the ex out or to be honest with you about what's happening. Again, you can't force him to do what's right. No amount of loving him will keep him from continuing to hurt you. Aren't you worth more than that??

Rose 0514's picture

Submitted by Rose 0514 on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 4:14pm

Thank you for the comment. I have asked him to change his locks due to the fact she keeps telling him she is going to kill me. Scary isn't it. :0(

ddakan's picture

Submitted by ddakan on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 4:51pm

She knows EXACTLY what she is doing leaving the notes... WTH kind of idiot saves notes from the psycho ex, unless it's evidence for court!! Leave this unsupportive idiot and make a good life for yourself somewhere else. Trust me, in 10 years and you wake up and its 10 times worse and you are weary, you'll wish you had!!

Don't let it drive you down like it has some of us....not when you have the opportunity to live a better life. Take your chance and run like the wind!!!

Unhappy's picture

Submitted by Unhappy on Thu, 01/06/2011 - 5:26pm

I'm going to have to agree with everybody else here. I have actually never told anybody on this site to get out, but this is unhealthy for you.

Why does he have to try not to ruffle her feathers becuase of the kids? From your post, they don't sound like kids. They sound like adults. That doesn't make any sense. He shouldn't be playing that game anymore. And what's the point of keeping the letters and the photos other than that? And then hiding them from you. Kind of makes you wonder. Why would he be okay with her just coming into the house? And last but not least, WHY IS HE OKAY WITH HER THREATENING TO KILL YOU? I was always under the impression that if you love somebody, you keep them safe. I'm sure he's told you that she's not capable of it as an excuse.

Bottom line, you have a boyfriend who a.) doesn't know how to set clear boundaries for the EX. Or b.) doesn't want to. Either way, it doesn't seem like he cares enough to firgure it out. There is no way I would stand for being disrespected like that. I think that you should either just leave him or give him a choice as to how things are going to be with his EX, meaning setting some boundaries. If he doesn't want to do that then there's your answer. He's okay with the you being treated in a disreapectful way by his EX, as well as he is doing the same by being okay with it, and he's okay with some crazy person threatening the life of someone he claims to care about.

Rose 0514's picture

Submitted by Rose 0514 on Fri, 01/07/2011 - 1:02am

Thanks for the comment... The ques is sometime what is wrong with me to let this happen. I was married before, and thought I knew what love was. With him I found true love. but is it really, Your right why does he fear for me that she is going to kill or hurt me and yet not report that. I have reported it to the police 2 X and yet nothing is ever done. I guess you have to be really hurt or killed in order for anything to be done. She ruined our christmas this year telling her kids (yes they are grown) that she planned to get back with him on that day, but because I was with him I runied it. She does this all behind her boyfriends back. I feel sorry for him as well. My boyfriend has no ideal where she is comming from. he told her if she wanted to come she should bring her boyfriend along. She went crazy. I just hate all the drama. I have never had family or friends that act so crazy.. it is just scary. Thanks everyone for your advice...