bio dad and family being retard's
ok so my daughter is having a rough time with her bio dad, the kid is only 7 and stressing to the point of going to a counselor about issues with her dad.
She finally got up the nerve to talk to her dad this last weekend about how his fighting and cussing is making her uneasy at his house in front of bio's mom and step dad.
and OMG his step dad told her that she needs to quit telling me so much about what goes on when she is on visitation, and that if she doesn't want to go to counseling she should tell me and i shouldn't be able to MAKE her go......THE KID wants to go, she NEEDS to go and who the hell are you to tell my daughter that i as her mother shouldn't be able to make her do what she doesn't WANT to do? YOU shouldn't even be talking to her about that and DAD YOU should've told him not to talk like that in front of her.
and the worst of it is, they received modification papers last friday, so why on earth would they even say a word to her about anything like that?
and you say i'm a retard, god i can't wait til the judge hears this one :sick:
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I don't get it. Does she have
I don't get it. Does she have a problem with bio dad or step dad?
my daughter's bio dad and
my daughter's bio dad and smom are constantly fighting including cussing at eachother, she's having a hard time dealing with this and currently going to counseling over it been trying to talk to her dad alone for some time now to get it to stop. she went to see gma and gpa on dad's side this last weekend and somehow it came out in the open.
grandpa told her to quit telling me (mom) so much about what goes on over there (at her dads) and that i shouldn't be making her go to counseling if she doens't want to..........she NEEDS it, thank god she told me this infront of her counselor, so now i have a neutral party in on the issue, whom told her it's not up to her, or "them" it's up to me and that's all that matters.
just don't know who the hell they think they are
Again, if they are fighting
Again, if they are fighting this bad with your daughter around, you can go to the courts or make a few calls to keep her with you and safe and get her the help she does need to be herself again. If it is causing that much damage to her, don't let her go and file! They would have to come and arrest me before I let my own go into that type of situation. I kid you not.
good luck.
Have YOU tried talking to her
Have YOU tried talking to her dad about these concerns? I am confused about this too. Lots of kids complain about what goes on at the other parents house. I daresay she probably complains about you while she is over THERE. You do know that road runs both ways?
You have a lot of demands on what should and shouldn't be done at someone else's house. Why arent the adults discussing this?
aggravated- yes i have
aggravated- yes i have approached him with this before, and in the long run it only made the fighting worse (he even told me his mom addressed it being too much around dd), and the smom built resentment towards my daughter for "repeating" before when i did approach him about it his response was....your my ex and hate my wife so you're attacking us, and if dd has an issue, she needs to talk to me about it...........then the fighting progressed and smom started becoming mean to my daughter (i witnessed a few instances first hand)...had to call DHS to make them grow up around her (worked but progressivly getting back to where it was)
and gpa had NO RIGHT to tell her to keep secrets.......AND HE'S A PREACHER!!!!
Why do you allow her to go
Why do you allow her to go visit if it is causing such stress on her?! I'm sorry but MY daughter would not be allowed to go ANYWHERE that was causing her harm.
It sounds like her SDad is an ass as well. Do like me and say, "F*** You All!" and leave them all and take your daughter with you, of course and get in the PROPER paperwork to keep her safe and her mind at ease.
butterfly- no her sdad (my
butterfly- no her sdad (my dh) is closer to her than probably any of us are, but he's not working so he spends most of her time with her. and i HAVE to make her go it's a court order, but that too is currently being looked at she should not HAVE to go i agree 100% so i'm working on getting that changed for her
Good. Keep on it and good
Good. Keep on it and good luck again. You can push this through pretty fast. They will not put you in jail if she is in harm's way either for not enforcing. You only need proof and her testimony. Not one cop would force her to go for visitation in that situation.
that's just it
that's just it butterfly...........I HAVE NO PROOF, just her word, but court for the whole thing will be soon, and we're taking an approach that will make him fix the problem or lose her.....his choice
I hear you and she is only 7
I hear you and she is only 7 years old so that makes it tough. Do you have a long time to wait?
I'm not being a mean ass here it is just how I was with my own daughter. If you get me there.
o i hear you completely, and
o i hear you completely, and if i could without being in contempt i would in a heart beat. i don't know how long it'll be but i'm sure here soon enough he'll see that i'm serious that his emotional health at home needs to get better.
You should be able to request
You should be able to request a psych eval. right? (on dad)
i'm going to ask for anger
i'm going to ask for anger managment classes for both of them bio dad and smom, and bio dad has told me they think smom is bipolar, so i'm going to ask to have her ordered for evaluation and treatment if necessary, or lose the kid if she fails to cooperate (which she's good at doing)
Does the SM have any children
Does the SM have any children living there as well?
BTW- My own BD20's real dad
BTW- My own BD20's real dad has not seen her since she was 3 yo. I had to literally buy two plane tickets all the way to the other side of the country and go "underground" for a year because of his mental disorder and the fact that he finally had his hands around my throat with a glock to my head and made threats to kidnap MY daughter. My daughter and I were awarded a perm. RO from him for life. He does not know where we live either and never will. I actually can't believe that he is still alive.
For "my" situation in court, there was ample evidence to prove what a nut BF was.
no they have no other kids
no they have no other kids there....if things got much worse, i'd ask for a vpo order, but not quite that bad yet
sorry to hear that
So, you are a BM. Why didn't
So, you are a BM. Why didn't you just talk to your ex about it? Instead of spinning the whole "my daughter said" thing, just work it out with the adults.
When you said she is MY daughter, she is also his daughter.
I don't think that kids should go back and forth telling every detail to the other parent of what goes on at each other's house. My children don't tattle on me when they are there and they don't tattle on their dad when they are here.
Maybe your daughter wants attention. A lot of 7 year olds don't know what counseling is. My daughter was angry in 3rd grade. She didn't want to tell a stranger anything. What he said was that the kid felt the stress and was acting out on it.
A good person for the daughter to talk to is you. Help her work through her thoughts and feelings. After all, you know her better than anyone.
It seem to me you are trying
It seem to me you are trying desperately to dictate what goes on in another persons home. 7 year olds tend to exaggerate and personally i see nothing wrong with a child learning to be discreet with what and to whom they share information when they are between 2 households.
I would be concerned if she were in danger and therefore I would document conversations you have with your ex about this alleged problem , but it is normal for couples to argue and kids can blow a small disagreement into something larger, especially if your daughter does not like her Stepmom.
Whateva
Right-I find it hard to
Right-I find it hard to believe that a judge it going to give much credibility to a 7 year old's version of things, with no proof. What 7 year old DOESN'T exaggerate?
And wanting to withhold visitation based on that alone? Good luck with that.