You are here

Keys to your house, and your skids...

meneran's picture

Submitted by meneran on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 2:49am

Hello everyone!

Last night I was thinking, how do you guys handle your house keys situations? Do your skids own a key to your home?

I know its too early for me to think about that, but ss9 will grow and eventually key issue will come to the table.

I don't want him to have key to our house. It is not his house, he lives with his mother and that should be his primary residence. He only visits eow now.

If you handed over the keys to your skid-s, when did you do that? How was it done? Was there problems?

I dont feel like handing keys to the teenager that doesnt live with me. I dont know what he might do when we are not home. I dont want to be scared that something will be missing, or that he will bring company to our home without us present there. I know i worry too much sometimes but these questions keep popping in my mind.

Is it wrong what i think? I am not sure.

Comments

stepsonhatesme's picture

Submitted by stepsonhatesme on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 2:59am

I REFUSE to give SS a key to our house. He has one to his mommas. House that she takes and gives every other day...she wants him to have one then decides that she doesn't want him in there with friends an stuff....I'd have to be stupid ass to give him one.
FYI: I wont let Bio kids have one either....based on they had friends in an pills came up missing....windows broke...cat almost died...letting friends go thru my cupboards......all when me an hubby weren't home.

meneran's picture

Submitted by meneran on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 6:23am

Im glad to hear that im not having crazy thoughts. I really dont want him to ever have keys of our house since he has no business being in when we arent around. God forbid his mother geting hold of the key.

BTW his grandmother (his moms side) is worse then his mother. I think she would be the first one to do something with the key!

Holly's picture

Submitted by Holly on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 6:30am

I haven't given either SD a key - they don't live fulltime with us so they don't need it. I dread the idea that they may come live with us when they go to college, I will have to give them a key then.

And of course, their BM has no concept of boundaries and so would be quite happily expect SDs to let her in for a nosey around as soon as they have a key.... She tried it before when we all first moved in with each other under the guise of 'Mommy wants to see the bedroom where her little girls sleep'. I told SDs to take a picture of their room only and give it to her.

Fingers crossed I never have to give them a key! Sad

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 7:02am

I would never give my ss a key either. He is only here when dh is here so there is no need.

Zoie's picture

Submitted by Zoie on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 7:10am

My SD is 9 almost 10 and there is no way I would let her have a key..actually because of her BM she will never have a key to our house....

Z

somerg's picture

Submitted by somerg on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 7:16am

my skids are teens and their mom refuses to give them a key to their house for fear of us copying them but to be honest there is nothing in that house i would want if i had the chance, no telling where her and her hubby have done the naughty, and they are not clean ppl :sick: i wont give them a key to our house simply cause they don't live with us. we've only asked bm to give them a copy of her house key because she's not always there when we bring them home, so we either wait or boil the pot by making her come get them which we normally do.

buttercookie's picture

Submitted by buttercookie on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 10:13am

I wouldn't give a skid who doesn't live with you a key to your house. If you have a crazy BM it grants her access and even if you don't I don't see a need for a skid who doesn't live with you to have a key

karenemoy's picture

Submitted by karenemoy on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 10:15am

My SS20 had a key when he lived wit us that was before we found out he was a herion addict (relasped recently) and we had the locks changed. He is not allowed in the house when I am there at this point. SD 25 does not have a key and would not give her one.

I would not give any skids keys. Then they think the own the place

Justwantsomepeace's picture

Submitted by Justwantsomepeace on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 10:20am

We're custodial, so they have to get in. But we were terrified that BM will copy the key (she's been in the house when we weren't here). So last week we put in keypad locks that have codes for each kid and we get a text when they unlock the door. We can also unlock With our phones and change the codes in an instant. We've used one for our business for a while now so when when someone leaves, we just change the code.

They're expensive, but radio shack has them on clearance.

z3girl's picture

Submitted by z3girl on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 10:20am

No keys, never! SD19 never came over all that often, and as it was I hated it that once she got her license, she would drive herself over and waltz right in the front door without knocking. Last year, I was in Europe and DH called me and told me that SD was coming over to take "her" dog for the day, and since she doesn't have a key to the house and DH would be at work, he said he was leaving a garage door opener in an unlocked car for her to be able to get in the house. I was extremely reluctant to agree to that, but luckily she never showed and I didn't have to worry about it. Turns out a week later she did come over for the dog again, but it was a weekend, and that was the last time DH saw her. 7 months and counting...

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 10:25am

Nope none of my skids have a key and will never get a key. There is no reason for it. They don't live with us so no there is no need for them to have one. I don't want the bm to get a hold of it either. However if she was to come here she knows that I will call the police. Our land lord which is dh's ex step dad has made it very clear to her that she is not welcome.

Ssamantha's picture

Submitted by Ssamantha on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 1:11pm

Me and FH have discussed this. We don't really feel SD11 is responsible enough to have a key and we have always been worried that if we did, her mom would get a hold of it and come in the house (she seems to have an issue that we never let her enter the house). BM is getting ready to abandon her kids AGAIN and we're going to have them fulltime, but I still don't feel comfortable with SD having a key. She loses EVERYTHING and the last thing I want to come home to is an empty house because she's left the house key somewhere with detailed instruction on which key does what.