(((applause)))

Couldn't agree MORE!!

I feel that way and I'm pregnant right now. I think I will STILL feel that way after the baby is born. Kids are important and all, but I'm not going to be one of those people that puts kids before EVERYTHING 100% of the time. You bet your butt I'm gonna be focusing on ME and MY relationship with my DH as much as I can!

When DS was born, DH & I swore we wouldn't be those parents that you see out who let their kids run around or just basically cause a ruckus. We agreed we would get up and leave with said child and the other would gather our things and we would be done. We've stuck to that to the point that my brother's wife thinks I'm a little nuts. We'll be out at church or whatever and Sean will be almost whispering and I'm asking him to keep it down. She's a few seats away and can't even hear him but heres me hushing him. She just shakes her head and laughs. We expect DS to behave appropriately in public. At home too but especially in public.
As parents it's our job to teach our kids about life and in life they won't be on a pedestal. People will hold them responsible for their actions - I don't understand how parents can think that type of behavior is helpful for their kids.

in complete agreement with op.

I couldn't agree more, or phrase it any better Asher.

I know one woman, whom I won't mention...(cough, my SIL, cough) who treats her DD20 like she's the most important person in her world...above her DH and above her other children.

Her daughter had gone on a girl's vacation. (Which was shocking that her mother allowed her the freedom to do this). We were visiting SIL's house. SIL says to me, "DD20's been away, don't you miss her?". And I say, sarcastically, without thought..."Oh yes, I can barely sleep at night". It was afterward, when I thought that perhaps I should have toned down the sarcasm. She thought I was serious, so no harm done.

But I thought to myself...'Really?'.

tbs, your sil sounds like mil in regards to sd.

the funny thing is mil "ACTS" all pro kid, but she's really only pro sd. she has a niece who has 2 very gifted children and all she can do is talk those kids down, when each of them (both a little younger than skids) have surpassed any accomplishments (or lack there of) of skids by leaps and bounds.

LOVE IT! Post of the day for me

Oh dudes...here's another example of my SIL's child worship of her DD20.

Her DD did very well in highschool. Very well. She had mentioned an interest in going to med school, and frankly, she had the grades to succeed. The better med school is in another city. SIL, put the brakes on that idea right away and convinced her to enrol in nursing school in our city so that she could continue to live at home. Hmm...nursing school...med school.

How messed up is that!! I call it extremely selfish, and borderline abusive, non?

I LOVE kids - the polite, respectful ones that listen to what they are told.

I was lucky enough that both skids and my own bio are all pretty good in that regard.

As far as the rugrats allowed to roam at will and disrupt everyone ELSE's life? I would like to spank their behinds and smack the parent(s) across the face!

i have friends with kids and sometimes "one" of them often trys to invite herself over. my first question is "do you have the kids?" if the answer is "yes" i immediately tell her not this time maybe another when you don't have the kids.

I never wanted kids and seeing my skids validated that decision. My SS once told me that parents are supposed to provide for the kids for EVER! Can you believe that! and he was serious.

Asher! You're awesome. Lol. Thanks for telling it like it IS!!!!!!

Asher here is a true story about me and DD - I was getting my hair done and DD was sitting in the seat next to me coloring a princess picture - when she was done she held it up proudly and said "Mommy clap for me I just finished a picture " So me being me turned to her looked at the picture which quite frankly she had colored way outside of the lines and I mean come on you are 5 1/2 she just rushed the job and so I said - well Picasso you are not - and no I know you rushed that so I am not clapping for that picture" and turned back to my magazine - it got kinda quiet on our side of the salon so I looked up and my hairdresser (which is a man with 3 girls) said to me "Well wasn't that kinda harsh - and turned to my daughter and said "DD that picture looks wonderful" and a woman getting her hair done across from me had a look of horror on her face and I said "No it does not look wonderful and she rushed the job if she wants me to praise her then she needs to do something that a 6 or 7 year old can do - she is not getting praise when she does something that a 3 year old could do better - see I am a realist and while I think that my DD is the prettiest and smartest child I know I also am not going to have a spoiled brat on my hands when she gets older. I push her to do better in everything and when she gets praised she knows she is doing something really good -

For example before I get flamed by all the BM's on here - my daughter can swim the entire length of the swimming pool at my club - she could do it at 4 - that is an amazing feat for someone her age and believe me I praise her about her swimming because she is very very good at it - in fact we have her in private lessons because the teacher said she was so advanced from the other 4 and 5 year old that she was not learning anything. Now her swimming ability I will praise to anyone - but when someone says there is the next Michael Phelps I don't just jump on it and get a stupid grin on my face - I always say well we will see.

See I hate children as a rule - I know sounds crazy but the only child I can put up with is my own - her friends I can barely stand - when they come over to play (and for some strange reason my house is the fun and popular house to come to) and my DD and whoever is here with her if they try to stay around me I am like listen you both are here to play with one another now leave me alone.

I will say that my daughter can go anywhere with anyone or to any party and when I go to get her I always and I mean always hear that she was the best behaved child at the party - why because I have been correcting her since she was 18 months - so I get the whole jist of your blog and a huge reason that their is this sense of self entitlement amongst our young is because Parents are setting this children up for failure in life - they think by over praising they are building self confidence when really they are creating arrogant snotty adults who no one will be able to stand in real life. I also feel that mothers put so much time and attention into their children that their husbands get neglected and start to stray - my DH is number one and then my child because long after DD has graduated it will be just me and hubby!!

And same as jenw I don't go crazy over babies - I do think it is because I wanted one more but hubby was so tired from DD that when I approached him about another (he was in his 50's) and said I just can't do it I am sorry I can't. Now I am so glad that we did not have another!!

i thank god, dh doesn't over praise skids, well not in front of me. but mil is the fucking worst. i kid you not, she has always over praised skids from day one. 10 yrs old and wiping your own ass is no over achievement in my eyes. or being 7 and able to hit the play button on the dvd is also not rocket science.

and when sd got busted stealing and lying, mil was right there saying it wasn't sd's fault... wtf?

mil has semi turned on ss, b/c he can't be bribed and manipulated as easy as sd. she always has some kind of bitch for him, but sd is perfect.. :sick: :sick:

Uh, I have kids and I feel the same way you do. I LOVE my kids and TOLERATE other people's. It's NOT they same when they're not yours!

I totally agree with OP!!!! You are preaching to the choir here! Our society has created this dream that kids are gifts from heaven and we are suppose to love all kids simply because they are kids. Considering that kids are human I judge them as I do adult human beings, some I like and some I do not! Being likable is earned and all kids are not likable.
some parents expect others even strangers to tolerate their kids ill behavior in public settings and you dare not say anything because after all "Kids will be kids" fortunately I don't subscribe to that.

Like Starfish I am happy that my SO isn't an "Over Praiser" , I think I would throw up daily!

Whateva

I agree with you and I'm trying to get pregnant. I am now at a point in my life where I want a child, but honestly I have never been a 'everything for the kid comes first' person. Not that I wouldn't do what is best, but what happens when you make your whole life your child and then they grow up and do their own thing. You have nothing else. And no you don't want to raise even more people who think the world revolves around them.

Our BM is a huge over praiser. They get money for doing things like eating or zipping up a coat. Oh you just tripped down the field and got stepped on? You are the best player out there! Mommy is SO proud of you! Ugh. They are constantly saying,"watch this! Did you see me do that? Wasn't that great?" Etc I told DH that if I'm one of those moms, he can slap some sense into me.

I am a BM and like most mothers I love and adore my kids. Are they perfect? Of course not. HOWEVER when they are out of line or cross boundaries (which they know) there is serious consequences. I am on one of those mothers who has a screaming kid at a restaurant. First of all, I don't take my kids to nice restaurants, just family oriented ones and "IF" they do start to get anxious or antsy, my butt is out of there. I can't stand a parent who lets their freakin 8 year old sit at the dinner table crying because she didn't get a red crayon with her coloring sheet the hostess gave her.

When they are good I'll give them praise. But I sure won't give them an IPOD Touch because they wanted it for Christmas and they didn't tell their dad to F#@$! OFF for 2 whole weeks (unlike someone else I know.)

That is why myself and exSO didn't work out. He believed his spoiled rotten, nasty, disrespectful, rude, foul mouthed, spawn did nothing wrong. There was always a "reason" why they did something. Let me tell you...he has some major health issues and his oldest told him she wish he would die. He did NOTHING...absolutely NOTHING. Now if my daughter said that (which she wouldn't because I have put the fear of God into her if she ever spoke to me or anyone else like that) she would have NO TEETH.

There is a difference with children being children. They will get loud, they will act up, they will probably get mouthy to a certain extent. I don't expect perfection, but I sure as hell can't stand children who think they have a right to do or say whatever they want, whenever they want.

I thank GOD I did not marry this man and I thank GOD even more I never procreated with him. I would personally like to thank the inventor of the Vasectomy and the IUD. Hats off to you!

Damn....maybe I really don't like kids. lol

I don't get it either, I have never been a kid person.

I love this blog I dont know how I missed it.

I post links to CF on my fb. normally right after someone I know changes their profile pic to that of a child.

I have always felt that I will be childless. I like other peoples kids and I love my skids (well 2 outta 3) but being a parent will never be a 'fulfilling' job for me.

I hate people that lose their identity and turn into Mommies and Daddies the second that thing gets ripped or pushed out.
BORING.