Enjoying the peace and reaping the rewards of Ex-wife's plan
Well most of you know that I am new here, but I posted a blog yesterday....I have a one year old and my C-section is next week! My DH ex wife decided to not allow thier 2 sons to come over anymore for a while...Ok this made me upset because I felt she was trying to separate me and my husband by only allowing him to visit the kids anywhere besides our home, and I told my husband he just wont be able to see them because we are a family and if she has concerns she is more than welcome to sit down with us and have a talk. But she declines....So guess what! Im enjoyning my step kid free home 
and my peaceful weekends. So what my hubby is gone for two or three hours playing with the little monsters ...but guess what they stay home and when he gets back we can resume our normal activites with out all the back talk, and begging for toys when we are barely getting by because thier mom gets thier cut off the top of my husbands check every week! Food does not get wasted if i make kid friendly foods like chicken nuggets and fries they want hamburgers, if I make hamburgers they want hot dogs or they just won't eat it! and it burns me up im trying to be considerate and this is the thanks I get so screw'em.
Yesterday DH picked them up and took them to the movies while
I was at work! I was gonna get mad but Im too close to delievery to stress out behind this....But as for the room situation I kindly asked my DH to take down thier bunk beds in the big guest room so that I can move thier ass into the small room that use to be my oldest son's nursery. So that our two sons will be comfortable in THIER home! So when the dumb Ex-wife does allow them to come back over or my hubby decides to sneak them in while im at work they will be in for a big surprise. HA HA HA now what! OH yeah P.S. Im putting my foot down too...She dont want them over thats fine ....but I decide when I will allow them back in....I guess I will just have to wait to have it out with dear old hubby when we get to that bridge, but i will keep yall posted
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Good luck, I am glad that you
Good luck, I am glad that you are putting your foor down. And why would you want them there when you will have a little baby to take care of. Good luck with birth.
Is there no CO agreement? How
Is there no CO agreement? How can she unilaterally decide when and where he will see his kids?
A lot of NCP biodads will NOT
A lot of NCP biodads will NOT fight the BM when she starts PASing and withholding visitation as the courts don't see it as a problem. They only see not paying astronomical CS as a problem for NCP biodads.
Now for NCP bioMOMS that's a horse of a different colour. The courts try to look the other way on that one and help her to get out of paying CS.
When our Contempt of Court
When our Contempt of Court fine against BM for obstructing visitation was $500 and the lawyer bill was $1500, that's when NN decided that we cannot afford to continue to pay CS AND fight for the visitation the COURTS ORDERED.
Why don't the courts have more teeth? How many times does a person have to violate an order given by the courts before they do something serious enough to the person to deter them???????
I went through the same thing
I went through the same thing too. In the early years, the Behemoth wrote me a three page handwritten diatribe telling me that I was (and I quote) "not fit to even glance upon HER BABIES"
She denied visitation in the beginning. Then when she started internet dating she thought it was great to dump them off at our house at any time, usually EVERY weekend. And the three are HELLIONS! No manners, no hygiene, no respect; completely insanely loud and destructive/hyperactive.
Of course this was during my doormat years and Godsgift went out of his way to be Disneydad. He loved it!! I HATED it! But then he began to see that no matter what we got for them, it was never enough. That was because the Behemoth made all three skids into her "mini mes" and assigned to them all the victimization that she took on.
Basically she let them know that no matter what dad and Auteur did for them, it would never be enough payback for "breaking up their (un)happy home!"
The three became spies for the Behemoth, fake CPS reports, the whole nine yards. Then they PASed out. GLORIOUS!! The oldest two haven't set foot in my house for almost three years now (the oldest is 14 now)
The youngest for 1 1/2 years now.
But now Godsgift is pining over the rotten fruit of his loins and making my life a living hell. Blaming it all on me and since he found out I was doing some venting about it, he turned downright violent.
I don't think these things ever have a happy ending unless the biodad can pull his head out of that dark and unsanitary place.
Glad to hear your keeping
Glad to hear your keeping your stress levels down!
I too have a 1 yr old and baby-on-the-way. And our BM hasn't totally disallowed the kids from coming, but she has started keeping them more and more on the weekends. Like you, I used to fight it, because I was worried they'll never do any school work on weekends and with major exams coming up I don't want them to fail. But, you know what, I'm enjoying my skid-free home and peaceful weekends too! More quality time for DH and baby and me, and when grandma wants the baby for a night, more time for DH and me!!
With my last pregnancy, I was super stressed about everything and I feel terrible because I don't know how it might have affected, or will affect my baby in her life. But I'm doing waaaay better with this pregnancy...
You live and learn. Your own health and happiness and that of your own kids, which you have more control over, is simply what is of utmost importance.
All the best next week with your soon-to-be new addition!!