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Euphemisms

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 8:24am

The other day, Godsgift described Venus De Milo (SD12)
as being "just like me. . .

athletic and competitive."

HMMM When playing board games, VD starts cheating 10 seconds into the game if it appears that she is not immediately the victor.

Athleticwise? Well she's simply BIG for her age. And big does not always equal athletic. But in GG's mind it DOES!

I'd say she's very large, very stubborn and a poor loser/bad sport.

Have you heard any euphemisms to gloss over skids poor habits or traits and make them appear "positive?"

Comments

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 8:29am

No, but SO likes to point out how SD is just like him in many ways, even his bad qualities. You can tell he thinks its just neato that his daughter has his shitty qualities. As long as she's not like his ex. But I see his Ex's qualities in her too

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 8:30am

My DH actually says that SS12 got BM's brains in that they are both dumber than a box of rocks. (Seriously he DOES say this!) and it IS true.

Asher10's picture

Submitted by Asher10 on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 8:31am

oh yeah.DAH used to gloss over SD's crying problem.Everytime someone would try to correct her she'd start doing the fake crying bullshit.Dh would say in that sick lovey tone 'she's just a sensitive soul.i'm sure she'll be a caring adult someday.' <<

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 8:33am

OH Gawd, that is 2 funny. So stupid it's HYSTERICAL!!

Wow good thing you got out before she started getting into the mid teens and really hitting the "daddy do for me" button.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 8:31am

GG did say the other day that he thinks that the Behemoth is not exactly a brainbox. But heaven help me if I say that!!! He does refer to me as "smart" sometimes. Which shocks me.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 8:33am

EXACTLY

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 8:35am

I had to laugh when one day GG pointed out Prince Hygiene's "Ved back."

The kid is just a lanky pudge now; no bone structure at all. And yet GG can see a "V" back on a six year old (he's now Dirol like his "V" back. Oh yes, uh huh.

:jawdrop:

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 8:40am

Pretty much. I throw up a little in my mouth each time.

Some times he comes out with stuff that makes me do audible gagging noises but i manage to contain myself.

The one about "i have good kids" really caused me to start gagging as though reflexive.

That and eyerolling. I literally have to turn my head away and eyeroll. I think my eyeballs got stuck up there once and I had only nanoseconds to get them back down.

sweetthing's picture

Submitted by sweetthing on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 8:48am

My youngest SS ( who I vented about today) looks exactly like DH at that age, they could be twins. I think the reason he lets him off so easy is because he was just like him at this age. Great, even more reason to help the child so he doesn't end up with issues like you.

foxxystep's picture

Submitted by foxxystep on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 9:31am

IO is a tall and well build good looking man. His son looks like a scrawny little rat. He looks like a Failure To Thrive kid, short, small and scrawny... and his dadd says its cos he's a picky eater... All the while I'm thinking "he does not even look like he's your kid idiot - get a paternity test" LMAO!!!

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 9:48am

Prince Hygiene looks more and more like the Behemoth every day. I saw him recently at a grocery store with of course, his maternal grandma who snorted at me like a wild bull and gave me hate stares so long it blocked the incoming patrons.

PH made eye contact with me then quickly averted his eyes and started running into the store with Grandmama (the Wookie)

All three children have NO facial bone structure. GG is completely devoid of lips and bone structure. I never noticed before until about three years ago. He is a barrel chested solidly built pro wrestler type.

But no lips and no cheekbones or jawline. The Behemoth is a large, long necked, big boned woman with some facial bone structure. PH has inherited his facial structure from GG. Non-existent lips and he quite frankly looks like an old man (thus the old term DROOPY) and the way he schleps about.

OH and GG told me he'd rather have THIN lips than "(insert racial expletive) lips"

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 10:44am

I have fairly large sized lips; I think it was a slap at me. . . AND Awesomeson is biracial, so at him as well.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 11:42am

That is a GOOD one!! IF we take the chocolate out of chocolate, then it's not so chocolatey!!!

DUMBASS comment of the day!!

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 12:42pm

I am not sure this is actually a euphemism-but one of dh's stranger comments. "Well he is practically retarded". Um, wow.

Dh had told ss to fold the clothes from the dryer that were already in a basket. So ss (who likes to appear angelic to dh) said Ok daddy dearest and took all the clean clothes (that I had just removed from the dryer that morning) and stuffed them ALL back in the dryer. Job done! When I came home from work and opened the dryer door-I could barely get the clothes out they were so jampacked in there. So I confronted ss who laughed and thought it was funny and I even snickered a bit (more about the fact that he thought I was so stupid that I wouldnt notice) but when I told him to fold them now he started having a meltdown denying he did it. Dh stepepd in and said, "maybe he forgot"-What he forgot that folding clothes does not mean putting stuffing them all in the dryer? I said something along the lines of "Cmon he's not stupid" and got the above stellar answer from dh. Which he is nowhere near retarded or stupid-he is a bright, but very lazy boy who is also attention challenged. By the way, he said this in front of ss who then went on to be angry at me because I couldnt understand how he "forgot" that you are not supposed to stuff clean clothes back in the dryer to avoid folding them.

The only true positive comments I've heard are "he's such a loving kid" which does make me vomit a little-I actually havent heard this one in YEARS as I think dh has finally realized that no, actually he is not loving at all to anyone even dh. I guess when he was a very small toddler he supposedly was and dh didnt want to let go of that.

Oh, but the one that probably fits the whole euphemism thing best is probably his comments about ss being "competitive"-these men like their kids to be comptetive. Unfortunately, that's not what most of society calls these kids who are pushing others to the ground during peewee soccer so they can get the ball first. But yeah whatever.

Dh also finds ways to put positive spins on how ss treats me. "He loves you deep down inside he just acts angry because he truly wishes he could have a mom like you instead of bm" :sick: "yes, i know he stole your panties for years and finally took them to show his classmates, but that's only because he wants your attention". :sick: And "Yes, i know he threatened to kill your bs, but again it's just out of love for you". :sick:

Fortunately, my dh has wised up and no longer says these things.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 12:47pm

to eye rolling ~ i have contacts, so "something is in my eye" usually works and it's technically not a lie.. }:)

Asher10's picture

Submitted by Asher10 on Tue, 04/05/2011 - 12:50pm

yeah something's in my eye.with all DAH's bullshit flying around something is bound to smack me in the retina every now and then.