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JulieP's picture

Submitted by JulieP on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 12:18am

Is so long to tell I need a few days to get it all put together but here is the short version.

Married since 2001
Im 39 my DH is 52
Stepmother of 2 young ladies 24 and 22
raising the son of the oldest SD

I feel used, unloved, taken advantage of and that's just the half of it Sad

Comments

dodgegal05's picture

Submitted by dodgegal05 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 12:46am

welcome, hope we can help you or atleast find a few friends that understand where your coming from. I am a stepmom to 4 adult skids, but thankfully not raising any grand kids. I can only imagine how stressful that is. Is the mom of the grandskid in the picture at all? Why are you raising teh child? Feel free to share the other half of the story.

godess-clueless's picture

Submitted by godess-clueless on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:06am

welcome julieP, I also took in step grandkids for several years. Found it to be the most unappreciated under taking ever. DH and I both had grown, out of the house children when we married. A yr. after we married I brought the first one into our home. He was a very hyper 11 yr. old boy already involved with the court system. My intentions were good but the outcome was not. No one seemed to realize this child was in 5th grade but working at a 3rd grade level. His mother's sisters were very upset with him and his mother due to his actions. There was so much turmoil between all of them it just seemed better to get the boy into a different environment. He did well,grade level raised, and by that point the sisters all seemed to be on better terms. Two yrs. later I received a phone call from the police and childrens service. Either he or his 5 yr. old sister had to be placed somewhere since they could not remain together in their home. Itook the girl that time. None of her aunts or her bio grandmother offered. She did go home after a yr. In all this mess, each time the child would go home and the child and parent never came back for a visit. These girls have their relationship with their mom who they still live in the same apartment building with . DH has told me they do not like me and Iexpect much of it may have to do with my over stepping boundries by taking on"THEIR" family member. Their relationship with their dad is very minimal and always has been. They have a very love/hate relationship. When mad at mom they would run to dad to badmouth her. When mad at dad I expect they did the same thing. When mad at each other then that would be who they ran to dad to badmouth. If you are dealing with sd's I am sure you know the situation. At this point I have not seen these children in years. Now I just dwell on my own gkids. DH sees them at christmas. Sometimes our good intentions end up enabling a situation. This SD is the one who has done the best at straightening out her life. But it only happened when she was told by me that her children would not continue moving in and out of our house like a revolving door.

StepX2's picture

Submitted by StepX2 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 11:06am

Welcome! If you read my bio, my 1st marriage was when I had my BKids, 2nd marriage I was step mom to 4 adult and teen daughters and am now "contemplating" if I really want to go with a 3rd marriage that also involves adult step kids. I know you will find this site extremely helpful! Smile

Shannon61's picture

Submitted by Shannon61 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 11:09am

Hi JulieP. I'm the mother of 1 SD(27). Welcome aboard. I too am looking forward to reading the rest of story.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 1:02pm

Julie,

Welcome, I hope you find this a good place to vent, contribute and pick up some useful advice from others who are living the blended family dream.

Your situation is not uncommon in the STalker community.

My brief blended family history:

This is my second marriage. My first was 2.5yrs of adulterous hell with my XW though no BKs.

Married since 1994. We will celebrate our 17th this summer.

I'm 47 my DW is 35. (Yep, if you do the math I was a cradle robbing perv) Wink
We met during the last semester of my 11yr undergrad career and her first semester out of HS, 4yrs after my divorce.

Dad to one son, SS-18, since he was 1yo. (He just finished his second week of USAF Basic so we are blissfully now empty nester DINKs.)

DW was a single teen mom at 16. She went on to finish HS with her HS class and finish her BS, and MBA and is now a CPA.

The SpermIdiot went on to a distinguished breeding career of 4 OOWL spawn with three baby mamas. My SS is his oldest and our only.

The youngest three SpermIdiot Spawn are raised by SpermGrandMa and SpermGrandPa who also paid the CS for my SS for their idiot son who lives rent free in a property that they own. He is a real winner.

He did eventually become a licensed plumber so he is not without the ability to grow beyond morally bankrupt idiot of no redeeming character .... maybe ..... but that remains TBD.

Again, welcome. I look forward to the War&Peace version of your SM experience when you get the opportunity to share it.

Best regards,