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Disney. A trip for the kids that made the BM trip **UPDATE**

cc01's picture

Submitted by cc01 on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 7:41am

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UPDATE
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So last night, my bf and I talk Disney again. I press for him to stand up for his daughter and bring the trip up to the bm again.
Here's how some of the convo went (over texting)

My BF- I take real good care of her. I buy her everything she needs. I take her out and do stuff. When you ask me to get her whatever, I get it. I think that I pay, and do my fair share and that should give me my fair share of decisions too.

bm- I give you more than enough decision making when it comes to her. And I am fair with you. But you lost some of that right when you left your family for your mistakes.
(OMG!!!! Jealous much? She's punishing him for leaving her sorry ass!)

bm- Your a good dad and i appreciate all you do. I think she is lucky to have you. I'm sorry im saying no but thats what my heart is telling me.

Jealous, Jealous...did I mention JEALOUS!!!

Get off of your high horse, out of my life...and move the FUCK on!
Did I mention that when she found out that we were dating, she wrote me an email saying "welcome to our little world"

YEAH. LOL. she's funny. and demented.

So my BF just tells me that the bm wants to know the exact date of the trip we are planning. The bm told my BF that everything he is saying is right, and she will talk to her "Dr." (therapist I am assuming) about this trip. Apparently she sees someone about parenting issues. Hm.

So...Disney is still up in the air...

Comments

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 9:29am

Are you OUR BM??

Hating the ex more than you love your kids, much?
(Oops - meant this under Echo's response)

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 10:30am

Ok - but you are forgetting -

without my consent/against my wishes can be a direct conflict with I would have followed the CO, packed the kids a suitcase and allowed it .

There are things in a CO that may be against the BM's wishes. That doesn't make it right for her to follow her wishes against the court's wishes - custodial or not.

Following the CO does not mean you "allow" it. It means you get in trouble if you DON'T follow it. YOU are not so much a dictator to be able to "allow" anything in regards to a child you share.

cc01's picture

Submitted by cc01 on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 9:02am

Well, my BF is unsure about a CO between them. They went to court 4 years ago, when they split, and all he knows is that he has joint. We are in Canada. We NEED a papaer to be signed by the bm, otherwise border crossing will NOT let us in. Unless, of course, he has a court order saying he has sole custody of her. But he does not.

The only reason she won't let us take her is because of jealousy! What more can I say? She can't even answer the question when my BF asks her why. She just does the run around and goes back to her saying it SHOULD just be a daddy/daughter trip. She also says "you promised her you would take her there since she was 3." To me, yeah he did promise her that when she was 3, and he is going now; we are going. To her, I think she means "you promised her that you would take her while we were still together, and if you didn't take me you and her, I'm not letting you take her with your new gf."

She's putting her own feelings in front of her daughter's and making the decision based on what SHE wants, hence the "My heart says no"

What fuckin heart? You mean that black hole where a normal person would have a heart?

cc01's picture

Submitted by cc01 on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 9:49am

If we don't get a signed paper, I think a court order oughtta do it. I'd love to see the judge question her reasons for not signing a paper. (and most likely...tear her a new one)

Last resort...my BF will request vacation time for the skid.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 9:10am

How old is your SD? The fact that she wants the exact dates now jumped out when I read your post. She may use the timing of the trip (during school time) as an added excuse to say no. Or she may plan to be there the same as you are. If you give her the dates of your trip, don't tell her where you plan to stay.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 1:37pm

I have to say on this situation and any other when my kid's or Skids are with me that I will take them where I want, when I want and do what I want to do with them.

Even if the CO said I had to get permission from another parent to take them out of state. I would go to Disney, have fun and return because no police force is going to do a damned thing about what an NCP or CP does on their CO appointed time with the kids regardless of where they do it.

Our CO is clear. They get no say in what we do or when we do it when the kid is with us and we get no say on those things when the kid is in SpermLand on SpermClan visitation. They can do what they want, where the want, when they want during their visitation time.

The only location/distance requirement in our CO is that we can take a 10day visitation with SS after two weeks of his 5wk summer visitation with the SpermClan but only in their "area of residence". We never took a mid visitation visitation with the Skid so it was pretty much a non issue though we did attempt to but SpermGrandMa made it such a PITA that we just avoided the drama.

There is also a 10day visitation that the SpermIdiot can take in Oct "in the Skids area of residence" provided that the SpermIdiot gets him to school and regular extracurricular activities during this time. None of the SpermClan ever tool this visitation.

So, in general in this type of situation I would do what I want during my time wiht the kids and give the opposition a big old KMA if they say a word about it.

I would love to stand in front of a judge and shred the oppostion if they had the sack to try to make an issue out of it. But, I thrive on barring the ass of idiots in court.

In the case of the toothless SpermClan ... they make it to easy.

smommy1's picture

Submitted by smommy1 on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 1:40pm

Rags, the issue isn't leaving Canada and going to Disney. The reason for the letter is so the parents and children can leave the US. They're very careful at hte borders with children who don't travel with both parents becuase of kidnapping and such. It's unfortunate but it is a real problem.