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Took a break, now things seem even worse need some advice

tryingtomakeit's picture

Submitted by tryingtomakeit on Fri, 06/24/2011 - 12:31pm

Well its been a while since I have blogged on here and I have to say I miss it. I gave birth to my son a few months ago so time is something I do not have much of anymore so I am glad I found some to write.

My 13 yr sd, is worse than ever. She basically rules my husbands life and he lets her. I have finally took a step back. I had to, I now have a child that I have to teach to be respectful and I WILL!

So, the ex called my husband, its always when he is at work...never does she call him when he is home with me. She called to ask him if the sd could stay at our house during the day because she did not want the sd staying at her house alone. (this is what my husband told me after the fact). Of course, he said yes. I do not have a problem with that at all please understand that.

My problem comes in when she stays on the computer till 4 am and sleeps ALL DAY LONG, then the days she is not sleepy she lays her butt on the couch and calls her mom to bring her food instead of getting up and making her something.

Was it wrong in me to freak out on my husband when he told me that she would be staying at our house during the day? I have issues with a child staying on the computer like she does? I have issues with her NOT DOING ANYTHING? Was it wrong for me to tell my husband, that if she stays here that she needs chores to do? WAS THIS WRONG IN ME? My husband, of course, agreed, but it was just to get me to shut up. He tells me he will talk to her....again to get me to shut up.

I think, reading between the lines, is that the ex is tired of her sd not doing anything, being a leach as I call her, and she just made up a story about her not wanting the sd to stay alone in the country where they live so they want her to stay in the city by herself. SO she get thrown off on us so that her house wont be a wreak when she comes home from work.

What are ya'lls thoughts on this? How would you all handle this leach?

Comments

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Fri, 06/24/2011 - 12:54pm

I like my SS so I would be fine with him coming here. He is a couch potato too, just XBox though. We make him walk the dogs around the block in the morning before the TV is turned on. We also make him eat in the kitchen lunch with his Dad when he comes home. Gives him routine. Also, if he is asked to do something with his friends or family he is not allowed to turn down the opportunity. We have anti-social issues and this has really helped.

You need to set up guidelines and bedtimes and keep a routine for that child. That will help with alot of your frustration...

oceangirl3's picture

Submitted by oceangirl3 on Fri, 06/24/2011 - 2:45pm

I feel your pain. I am in the same position with SD11. If I tell her to do something she does a half a@# job. I have finally gotten to the point where I have disengaged from her and it is up to her father to do anything. She's not my kid. However, when it comes to her taking over the couch and the living room and tv, I tell her enough and go find something else to do. I don't care if she stays in her room all day. At least she isn't frying her brain and being a lazy sack of nothing. Just tell her NO and to go do what she wants in her room. That is their space to do what they want. The rest of the house is yours and your husbands to enjoy.