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BM is a deadbeat,SO doesn't want child support from her..WTF!!

truebloodfreak's picture

Submitted by truebloodfreak on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 10:37am

SO had a fight about money,stress the difficulties of me being a step-mom.well practically adopto-mom because BM maybe sees her boys once a year. I told SO that she needs to pay child support. She doesn't do any parenting,lives in California with her man and their 2 kids. The least she could do is send us money. Anything!! even $20 a week would help. SO that because she is such a dead beat who doesn't really care about her kids. He doesn't want anything from her. But yet he lets her call his phone to talk to the boys 2x-3x a week. Why??? If she does nothing for them!!!! I'm tired of helping to pay for things that she should be paying for. SO's arguement= you love me,you're helping me and my boys out. >>YES but I do t go broke in the process. How can I convince him to get her to pay child support? OR what should I say to BM to make her feel guilty enough to send money?

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MamaBecky's picture

Submitted by MamaBecky on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 10:59am

Your DH probably fears that if he were to go for CS that BM would have a change of heart in regards to taking care of her kids. His biggest fear is most likely that she will request custody and then move them away to California. Even if it is small possibility it probably scares him enough to not ever request child support. To him the risk is just not worth it.

stepfamilyfriend's picture

Submitted by stepfamilyfriend on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 11:13am

Seems like most people here don't believe in asking for child support from a dad, so I would think the same would apply the other way around.
I never received any and my DH and I took care of mine and his without support. I am not saying you should not ask for it, but it should be your husband.
If you are really going broke helping him out than something needs to change.

truebloodfreak's picture

Submitted by truebloodfreak on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 12:26pm

@maux-- this BM already was claiming that the boys lived with her for years!!!! We had to go apply for food stamps because I was unemployed and SO didn't make.enough when we in that's when the office said she was claiming them for 5 years. She was getting a link card- NEVER sent us any money or food, she was getting housing assistance -the boys were at her for 2 weeks when she lived here, she was getting cash - NEVER sent a dime for school supplies, clothes,toiletries. If you've read my blog then you can see this woman is a piece of shit. @mamabecky. - I know for a fact if the boys were living with her she would demand CS. But the fact is they been with SO for their whole.life. He has raised them for the past 9 years with the help of me!!! And his extra before me. shes had 9 years to step up as a parent and chooses others over her boys. They have never lived with her. Only for the first 5 years. Of SS14 life has she rally been there. She took off to focus on herself when SS9 was 7 months old. I hope and pray that one day the boys will Want to live with BM but I doubt - they barely know her.and she doesn't want them with her "
perfect new life" with her man and other kids.