Who is the mother?
Fsd11 is having her first dance. Yes, a Jr high dance. A couple of weeks ago she asked my SO if he would take her shopping for a dress. He asked me what do you think? I said wouldn't Crazo want that moment with her daughter? He told her that she might want to ask her mom but that he would love to take her. Crazo has a history of not wanting to do things for fsd11. She said I don't think mom wants too, but squealed with delight that her dad would take her.
She shopped on line that weekend and sent her dad the dress she wanted. Said he love it and could she please have it. We were at the mall so we stopped in to see if they had it. No, you could only order it on line, so I found it discounted and my So ordered it.
Great right?? Yes and no, the dress came it and she loves it. It is so beautiful on her. I took in the sides a little because she is so tiny it was big on her. I steamed it and we have it ready to go....she stood in front of the mirror and swirled around an had a great time. It really was very cute moment. She hugged an thanked me over and over again, so thankful that I was willing to help her. I could see how much it means to her.
Her dad told her to have her mom look for shoes. Crazo buys everything at least 2-3 sizes to big. So we have our doubts if she will come with shoes that actually fit her. My SO told her to make sure she told her mom that she wanted the shoes to fit. SO is going to buy a couple of pairs of shoes to have just incase crazo doesn't come through..she probably wont.
Now for the heart breaking part. I told my SO I was sure Crazo would want to help her daughter get ready for the dance.....take pictures etc...Nope, Fsd11 asked me if she could get ready at my house and if I would help her with her hair. Of course I will, but it breaks my heart this woman who is the Bio mom is so selfish. What is wrong with this woman. I treasured these moment I had with my daughter.
The funny thing is I know I am not her mother. I do not want to be, and have absolutely no interest in being close to these skids. But I have been there with my god children for all their special moments. I have a daughter and do not feel the need to parent fsd11, but it does break my heart for this child because her mother is so selfish.
Crazo will always be the mother and fsd11 will always love her, unconditionally. Crazo is missing out on so much. And her daughter is looking to me for approval and security. The sad thing is she really doesn't want to spend time with her child instead she will let the golden vagina, gold digger, f***ing bitch, cunt, whore, etc... take care of HER child.
It really is just so sad....It makes me hate crazo even more...so, so selfish.
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But I really don't want too.
But I really don't want too. I am not her mother. I have a daughter. But I cannot just sit by and let this child do without the small things every child should have, like someone to help her get ready for a dance. Our course her dad will be there to do what every "we" need ha! But somethings a girls just needs a womans touch.
And she is so thankful and sweet. It breaks my heart.
Sometimes I really think all
Sometimes I really think all these children are is a paycheck for their BM. Last week SD9 had her first choir recital. This is the first extracurricular activity of any sort the child has ever had. The recital was at 5:30 and BM is a teacher, which should mean she should be able to make it, right? Nope. She told the kid she had to work. So she calls DH in tears and DH leaves work early, drives the 1.5 hours to where their mother moved them and takes her to her recital. It's great that DH is so involved and able to do that but at the same time, seriously? Her mother couldn't make it b/c she had to work?? At least come up with a better excuse, lady.
So true, My SO at one point
So true, My SO at one point told Crazo he would give her the child support if he could have the kids. She agreed, then when her family found out about it they guilted her into refusing. This is who she really is.
Crazo works 3 days a week and could eaily take her daughter shopping. She doesn't go to their basketball games, soccer games, cheering etc....
What is wrong with these women? I am glad you DH drove to be with his daughter.
This is true a paycheck
This is true a paycheck describes it perfectly. If they didn't have the kids they would lose out on the child support. BM feels that the CS she gets is for her bills and to take care of her. Anything SD needs should be provided by my BF. Meanwhile she sits at home with no job smoking cigarettes, drinking and looking for ways to cause drama for everyone!!!
obviously we either share the
obviously we either share the same BM, or they're at least related....
Isn't it sad we have the same
Isn't it sad we have the same story. Money motivates these crazy Bm's and that's about it.
I do more for the skids than what I want, because I just can't stand how their mom is the one that is disengaged. They are so thankful for anything I do. It really makes me sad.
It really is sad I wish
It really is sad
I wish that SD would show some appreciation for what I do. She never does, so it makes me resentful. I know I should be above it but I see how BF's adult DD's are and it just bugs me. They are just like the BM use people till you can't get anymore out of them then on to the next victim.
I do so much for SD and I never even get a simple Thanks it is just expected from her that I do it. I had to disengage for my sanity. Her own mother does nothing but I am expected to bend over backwards for her and then get treated like crap. No more!! I leave it all up to my BF now I don't do anything.
This is exactly how our BM
This is exactly how our BM is. She cries about how she misses SD so much how she is so involved in all her activities blah, blah blah. The minute something comes up that SD has to go to she either doesn't take her or SD calls us to take her. It usually revolves around money. If she has to purchase something or poney up money for fees then its a definate no way she will do it. So we pick up the slack as usual.
But I am like you dragonfly I really dont want to be the one to do all the mothering things. I have two DD's and I did all this stuff with them and cherished it, I can't imagine the BM not doing it herself.
I had to do the same thing
I had to do the same thing for FSD15's homecoming dance, his first big date, but not because BM wouldn't do it. FSD didn't want his own mother to know until right before the dance, for fear she'd make too big of a fuss over him. So I got the joy of taking him shopping for dress clothes over the course of three different weekends. I also got to instruct both him and FDH about corsages (we went with a wrist corsage, coordinated to both their outfits), as well as make sure he was up to speed on tipping etiquette, all that good stuff. I kept asking if they were sure they didn't want BM to handle this, but no, FSD and FDH were both sure.
I understand you completely.
I understand you completely. I am doing everything for SD and cheerleading. I said that to SO just yesterday. BM should be doing these things with her daughter and b/c of the way BM is by the time she figures out what she missed, SD won't want any part of her at all.