GG wants to reunite with his three PASed out "darlings." (SS15, SD13 and SS will be 9 tomorrow)

What reignited GG's desire to do so?

1. The recent sudden death of a vendor for his company; well known;well liked at age 57 (GG will be 44 and is starting yet another midlife crisis)
2. The "heartstrings" xmas card orchestrated by the Behemoth (came out of "nowhere" after 9 months of silence past the first "reunification attempt" in which he was stood up by VD (SD13) three times.

Talk of "life insurance" has started again.

1. He can't afford to pay me even a third of what the monthly expenses are after CS and taxes and he wants to pay insurance premiums out of THAT??!!

2.. All this crap about LIFE INSURANCE for funeral costs in the event he dies. . . I'm not married to him and frankly, if he upped and died he be less expensive than he is alive!!

3. He better not think that I"M getting life insurance again on myself for HIS (and his "darlings" benefit)

So despite the manipulation so heavy and thick it nearly knocked me over when the card was opened (none of which he "got" of course) he clearly viewed his children still as "infants/babies" and immediate talk of "writing the kids back" sprung back into life.

Concidentally it was the last day before Awesomeson went off to Air Force training, so as he and his GF were over for lunch before they headed out to the base, I felt it was the perfect opportunity to "inform" GG the goings on with FB and his "darlings". . .give him a little eye opener that they are actually teenagers allowed to run wild. Especially is darling princess VD!! He was totally SHOCKED and immediately went into a tirade; which probably was unsettling for Awesomeson and GF but here are some lowlights:

GG: I met so and so (old married friend when he was with the Behemoth) and told him he looked terrible; he's gotten FAT; I look pretty good for my age; he said that Brainiac was over at his house (this guy has two teenage girls) having WILD PARTIES.

(Editor's note: PERFECT opportunity to smack GG in the face with all the goings on)

Me: Your children are growing up fast and the Behemoth is definitely a modern mother. Prince Hygiene (SS 9 tomorrow) is asking about teen pregnancy and VD is taking it upon herself to "explain it to him"

GG: WHHAAAAAATTT??!! What is PH doing talking about pregnancy; he's only SEVEN!

(Editor's note: GG is stuck in time when GG PASed out; he couldn't even remember what grades his kids were in when Awesomeson and his GF, who is a grade school teacher, asked. He started, as usual, UNDERestimating their age and grades, which I quickly corrected!!)

Me: He asked about it when a commercial came on about teen pregnancy.

GG: What's he doing watching a show that would have THAT kind of commercials?

Me: Probaby ICarly (the specific show I told GG that it was inappropriate viewing for PH, at the time stb 7, but he wouldn't listen to me)

Me: And VD is seeing Breaking Dawn with girlfriends.

Awesomeson and GF make uncomfortable "uh oh" noises

GG: WHAT???!! What is THAT?

Awesomeson's GF: It's a movie about vampires but probably not good for young teens or tweens to watch w/o parental guidance; heavy sex scenes, etc.

Me: Yes, and VD was just dropped off with a friend to see that movie by the Behemoth; no parental supervision.

GG: (looking stunned)

Me: Oh and VD is dating, the Behemoth is so proud that she's telling all the teachers; probably as an excuse for lack of concentration during school.

GG: (looking ILL)

Me: She's calling her boyfriends "lovers. " Oh and your brother (Uncle Kinky who sided with the Behemoth) told VD to tell the Behemoth that PH is asking about "teen pregnancy"

GG: Figures

Me: And VD wrote him back saying that "Mom said PH probably forgot about how teen pregnancy happens."

GG (looking stunned again) What the HELL is the Behemoth doing to PH??!!

Me: She's being a BFF of course

GG (shaking head)

Me: Did you know that they have a very high lifestyle over there and we'll never be able to compete? Snuffleupagus (stepdad) and the Behemoth went sailing with Oprah!!

GG: We're not GOING to compete! Sailing with Oprah!! (phhtt!!)

(Editor's note: GG hates anything to do with Oprah or anything considered "girly")

Me: And they spent thousands sending Brainiac to Rock Star Camp at (a local exclusive private school)

GG: I told Brainiac that if he does well in school, I'll buy him the best guitar money can buy

Me: (looking incredulous)

Later GG "questioned" me how I found all this out. I said "it's right there out in the open on FB" (not really b/c FB blocks under 18 accts but oh well; I have to defend myself against him thinking his children are still sweet little three year olds!!!

GG was particularly "on cloud nine" as Awesomeson (who has never cost us one nickel nor has been around more than a couple of hours every two weeks) was shipping out to the AF. He then stated he hoped Awesomeson gets shipped off to Italy (and not b/c it's a good experience for Awesomeson as he tried to cover his less than lukewarm feelings for Awesomeson)

The bright side is Awesomeson is on his way to the AF base in Texas!! He'll have new opportunities and miss the upstate NY winter!! I am a bit sad, but happy for him all th same!