oh dear SO....
I really don't know if I should feel sorry for him or feel outraged at his ridiculousness..
We have 50/50 of SS5. Well, we actually have Thursday through Sunday-while BM has Sunday through Thursday. So, technically speaking BM has SS "more" because she has 4 overnights, whereas we have 3 each week. Now my husband has bitched and moaned about how "little" he has his son. Two weeks ago, he agreed to having BM drop off last week on Friday because we kept SS on his day off (New Years Day). This Thursday, MIL is keeping SS. This is not the first time, nor will it be the last that BM convinces SO to let her or his own mom keep SS for the extra day. I figure I should throw in that, MIL lives 10 minutes away from where BM resides and usually picks up SS right after work (3 pm) instead of BM having to drive the hour to our place.
Now my husband has said he wants to get SS enrolled in school down here.
The big thing that's in the way from registering him is the physical. He still hasn't had his 5 yr checkup (though his birthday was early Oct). A whole seperate issue, but basically BM lost her state-issued insurance and never bothered to get the info for the insurance my husband carries for SS. So now theres a hold up because my husband's company has switched to a new provider-who low and behold doesnt sponsor the ped SS had. So, she has to actually find a new provider through the insurance, request the files transferred from the old place AND get SS his appt. My husband wants "us" to do it.
I wrote a post on the forum about this insurance predictament and everyone said go hands off with it.
Considering the lack of effort my own SO is putting in, I'm thinking I'll let him handle it. I'll set him up with the papers and the numbers to call, but he can do it. I have an appt next week for our BD, I'll get the transfer paper then and fill it out if my SO wants him to move to our ped- he can deal with changing SS over, making the appt and pissing BM off.
This shall be my new policy- I'll set it up, but its up to him to follow through. If its important enough for him- he'll figure how to make the time to fax a paper or two and make a meeting or so to enroll him in K. I'm not disengaged, but am def making myself more of an aide than right hand.
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Yeah, we had a similar issue
Yeah, we had a similar issue eXcept we carry bio kids on our insurance. You might want to go totally hands off, though, since no one is going to appreciate your work. I researched new doctors for step kids, including phone numbers, and how far away from SKs primary residence they were, and did I get any thanks for it? I did not. Did anyone do anything with this information? They did not.
We carry the insurance too.
We carry the insurance too. Since BM lost hers, she actually cares that we have it now though.
I've done this before with Pre-K. I got all the information ready and had a 2 page list of all the different schools and information about the FREE program. MIL gave it to BM for me and although BM said she was going to enroll SS in the first school on the list the following day... SS was never enrolled.
I'm never doing that again for BM to be sure. And certainly not going into that much detail for SO now. But I am getting it in line-i.e finding websites, printing applications and the like.
Thanks for your response. Helps to know you're not the only one doing all the leg work for nothing in return.
Yep. Sounds way too
Yep. Sounds way too familiar. As a step, you can do all the effing leg work in the world but it is up to the bios to follow through and actually do what needs to get done for their kids. I agree with the previous poster, if you can stand it, I'd go completely hands off and just let the chips fall where they may. It sucks when the kid suffers for it, but it's the bios who need to be taking care of business and getting stuff done for their kids.