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Mom2TwinsnTeens's picture

Submitted by Mom2TwinsnTeens on Thu, 01/26/2012 - 9:53pm

Well, DH and I went out the other night and argued about sending SD12 back. He was against it, so the plan was for her to stay. Until we found out that while we were gone, she went nuts. She started drama, making SS17 and his friend who was helping babysit the twins angry at each other. Then they made up and she got mad and pulled a knife that she previously stole out of the safe that she learned the code to. We cant have that kind of violence in our home. We bought the ticket to send her back on Saturday, BM is going to be pissed when she finds out her free and single life is going to come to an end. I'm sorry, we tried so hard to help this girl, but there are four other kids here that we have to think of, including 2 infants. I'm not going to risk her hurting them.

Comments

frustrated-mom's picture

Submitted by frustrated-mom on Thu, 01/26/2012 - 11:39pm

Banishing my SD from my home was one of the best decision I've ever made. Make a list of requirements for her to return and ensure that she can't step foot in your home again without crawling back and begging for your forgiveness.

Anonymous_stepmom's picture

Submitted by Anonymous_stepmom on Thu, 01/26/2012 - 11:54pm

Crazypants lol

I'd send her back too. SS8 is no longer allowed in my home at this point either because he poses a physical threat to my children and animals as well.

StubbornEnough's picture

Submitted by StubbornEnough on Fri, 01/27/2012 - 12:00am

Sounds like you are doing the right thing for her. She needs to be the only child in the home. (Tee Hee) Good luck dealing with the hellion YOU MADE, BM! }:)

Mom2TwinsnTeens's picture

Submitted by Mom2TwinsnTeens on Fri, 01/27/2012 - 6:43am

You're right about them having a choice, StepAside. One of the things DH brought up when we were arguing was "Well, what happens when the twins get to be teenagers and act up, where are you going to send them?". It's not the same.

My aunts a therapist and she wants to write a book called "Sorry dad, it really IS all about mom". IMO, its easier for men to try to be stepparents than women. I don't feel the same towards the skids that I do my twins. I care deeply for them and want the best for them, but its not the same. That set DH off when I told him, he asked "Whats the difference, because you carried them for 9 months?", knowing full well we're both adopted...and I said "No, I CHOSE to have them, thats the difference"

I'm worried now that the other skids will act up in order to get sent back. They know BMs a POS, but lets face it, kids pick the path of least resistance and they WANT to go where they dont have any rules, regardless of really whats best for them.

Mom2TwinsnTeens's picture

Submitted by Mom2TwinsnTeens on Fri, 01/27/2012 - 8:36am

She got the belt. We haven't held back with the spankings, even SS17 has got em, but she's that damn hard headed

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Fri, 01/27/2012 - 11:40am

WOW i wonder what is so different in my home as all my skids like me and we haven't had that much problems out if them. My ss16 had just turned 7 when I met him and he had a bully personality but we never let him get away with it here.

If i tell them to do something they do it. We have really only had normal teen crap going on.

With that said I can tell you that my dh believes that our marriage comes first. He has made that very clear. If we can't agree we compromise.

I do agree it is very much harder for a woman to be a step parent over a man. I think it has A LOT to with the mother of the kids b/c if the mother is being a pain then so will the kids. the mom has a lot of influence over the kids. If the mom hates the step mom you can bet that she will reflect that onto the kids.

In my case I backed off b/c of that and the kids knew why I backed off it was obvious but then something amazing happened and that was that all yuck efforts to get the kids to hate me backfired. I think the reason is b/c since i wasn't doing anything in regards to telling them what to do or anything they didn't see me as a mean person.

I don't blame you one bit for sending her back as a matter of fact when ss16 was going through his spell of being a bully I told dh that if he didn't get a handle on him he was going to allowed back at our house. Dh stepped up! lol