How long do you disengage yourself from anything to do with skids to see if your DH or DW will change things?

My skid is a shit. He is 7 yrs old. He has such an attitute since he now sees his BM a lot more and whines every time he talks to DH. He is disrespectful when talking to DH. I'm highly frustrated because I don't agree with any of that and our house should be way different than his BM's house. In my eyes the house and family doesn't revolve around the skid. It should work for each person involved.

DH says skid is afraid of me because I yell at him too much. I believe that skid knows how he should be acting in the house and when I'm around his whispers and whines to DH. Maybe he is scared but he is scared because he knows he is doing something wrong. I'm frustrated with DH because he won't tell skid to stop whining and speak correctly or repremand him when he really is breaking the house rules. Especially when he talks to DH like garbage. DH should tell skid that this is not how he is to behave at this house and he better change accordingly.

I have disengaged so much that I won't take skid to the doctor or go to school functions. DH wants to have a barrier between how I feel and how skid feels then I'm not going to help him out. To me DH wants to be a friend and not a parent because he doesn't want his son to like BM more than dad. Being a kids friend is what's wrong with this world. Kids need parents to guide them and show them right from wrong and how to act.

If DH doesn't do something to change how long to I stay around? I have a baby on the way and won't allow my child to act how skid is acting? DH needs to stop putting skid on high ground.