And while your at it go buy yourself a nice present for being such a beautiful companion and putting up with your SD's crap and guilty daddy syndrome you DH puts you through. Use your imagination - splurge and dont think of the consequences. Im sure your DH doesnt think twice about spending over $60 on bills or maintenance for his daughter.
Take photos of the occassion also... and be the centre of attention and make the evening about you. If SD says she is sick say "I hope you get better..." and then immediatly direct the conversation back at you. DH will then see the fun he missed out on. Also another issue is that your SD seems to need to be the centre of attention, bet she does everytime there is an event that is about someone else. Bet she isnt sick on her birthday

Yep! I had plans to do dinner and a movie. The restaurant I wanted to go to would not take my reservation and the movie I picked yesterday doesn't show as playing today so I'm stuck at home. Very well, I can hardly move anyways.

Then SO started an argument with me. Everything was going wonderfully then the kids got home from school, they weren't even in the house 5 minutes, SO said to them that I had laundry for them to do and he was going to go to the basement and bring it up, now when he says he is going to do something he usually takes like an hour, he asked my oldest to go downstairs, she said she wanted to hang out in her room till it was time, of course he had to act like a dink and demanded that if she wasn't going to go downstairs and wait that she could give back the little Valentine gift I had literally just handed her. She got upset and threw it on the bed and walked out. I told him it was uncalled for, there was no problem with her waiting in her room until it was time and why would he demand she give back the gift? So he went to give it back to her, at this point she was reluctant and pissy and giving attitude. It all blew up into like a million other things with him, he kept twisting everything around to shift blame off of himself. I told him I understood he was frustrated but I felt the way he acted way petty. This kind of crap has been going on for a while, he makes mountains out of mole hills constantly and he feels he can talk shit to the kids but they must respect him. I said you know you would get a lot further with the kids if you asked nicely, please and thank you and did not just go off barking and yelling at them. He acts so childish about some things and I told him you are the adult, she is the child and I'm sick of him acting like she is a mini adult, she's Autistic and her thought process is very different then ours, he just doesn't seem to get it.

My daughter thinks that he doesn't like her and went onto say that he's been rude lately and yells over everything, which is true, I'm sick of his attitude as well towards the kids. When I told him that she voiced these concerns to me he just kind of said whatever, then told me he wasn't making any dinner (something he said he would do for V day) then went to sleep! Just pissed me off even more because it seemed like nothing that had just happened was worth fixing or resolving.

So he got up, spoke to my daughter, we resolved some things and then he promptly started barking orders again! UGH! Just sooooooooo sick of it.

I understand that kids need boundaries and rules and when they get into trouble they get punished but I've also told him time and time ago to pick and choose his battles because it's just stupid to ground a child for 7+ days PLUS take EVERYTHING they enjoy away and then attempt them to do double the amount of chores they are usually asked to do just because they whined, or talked back. They SHOULDN'T but no kid is perfect and it is gonna happen once in a while and for things like that I think having them not go outside to play for the night or whatever is suffice. I dunno, maybe I'm too passive? I just think he goes overboard with the punishments sometimes.