Updates to business

#1. SO and his lack of involvement in household - Results:

After our semi hostile negotiations on Sunday night he went for his 2nd night in a row without a nice homemade meal and ate alone haha. Afterwards he was very pleasant and decided to set his alarm without being reminded. He woke the kids up for school the following morning, got them ready and sent them off allowing me to sleep in. He bathed the smallest and fed him breakfast. I went to work and took ss3 with me to daycare and I worked 11-5:30pm. SO cooked me breakfast before I left in exchange for me putting together a crock pot corned beef for dinner ;). He came and picked ss3 up from daycare after snack time and took him home. During his day since he was off of work he called me a few times, gathered up and took out all the household trash, worked on some finances and went to the gym. He took the dogs out and cared for them all day, downloaded the newest season of my favorite show and said he did some "research" on some things we talked about over the weekend online lol! He got all the kids ready for bed (I had an evening meeting with me social group) and put them to sleep at the correct hour. He made sure their teeth were brushed, that ss3 didn't get out of bed 87 times and that everyone's clothes were ready for the next day. He spent time talking with sd15 and had her do the dishes and wouldn't budge when she tried to negotiate doing them at a later date and time!!!! <----This NEVER happens. He wiped down the counters and cleaned up from dinner. I literally had nothing to do last night but put my pjs on and close the blinds! The dogs had eaten, he even took the initiative to negotiate and break up the sd15/sd10 argument over who had custody of the dog that night for bed. He cleaned out sd5's backpack with her and did homework with sd10. He even asked me on the phone after work if there was anything else I wanted/needed done around the house. I cautiously asked to have the clean laundry brought upstairs. It was there when I got home AND he had changed out the dirty! I told him he wasn't off the hook but that I was very pleased and happy he took the initiative and that if it continued one day a few years down the road he WOULD be off the hook! This morning he asked if I wanted to go to the gym and if I'd like some breakfast he was making himself. Also last night we went over the summer visitation and daycare schedule together and signed the kids up for summer activities TOGETHER. We did the family calendar together and I actually got to sit and talk to him while he finished up the kitchen. I felt relaxed for the first time in MONTHS. Everything wasn't on me, wasn't my responsibility. It was so nice. I am cautiously optimistic (it has only been 2 days afterall) but very happy so far!

#2. BM's involvement/holding her accountable

He informed her Friday when she picked them up that from now on Weds nights were hers from 3-8pm, they were to be home on time and that if she wasn't going to show up that it was her problem because he was informing the kids they were going (She wanted him to give her $$ to help her with gas!) He didn't even address the gas money situation as part of the equation - he told her whatever she had to do was her business but that it was in fact her day and if she didn't want to come that was on her.
Sunday when she returned the children she told him she had made arrangements to have her daughter (from ONS) come and pick them up this Weds. He informed her where they were going to be for pick up and what time. I am SO excited. A weeknight off of mommy duties. Skids are not pleased about this arrangement because it cuts into their social activities. TOO bad kiddos! I love ya but ya'll aren't my responsibility all the time! (cackles with glee).

This summer skids will be spending a 2 week time block at Princess's un-airconditioned boring shithole AS WELL AS Tuesdays overnight thru weds and every other weekend. SO has decided that it is time for her to feel the pain of being financially responsible for them the way we are. Also it's time for some of the older skids to see what "fair" really looks like. Everyone has cried and moaned about poor mom, and she/I doesn't have time with us/them, and she's/Im so sad without us/them and it isn't fair that she/I barely gets to see us/them. Wish granted Princess! You will be responsible for 50-65% of their care throughout the summer as well as entertaining them all summer long, AND you have no $ so you have no way to do anything with them and your asshole boyfriend wont let you out of his sight!

They will enjoy the luxury accommodations of Princess Hotels - Included in your stay are: No a/c, partially finished house, no television, internet, or phone services! You will be sharing a room with 5 other guests as there are 6 people sharing one bedroom! Meals will be determined and accommodated at Dingus's deciding! Activities include but are not limited to: Playing in the agricultural run off creek! Playing on the moldy bug infested couch in the lawn! Playing in the burn pile! Playing in the fertilized corn fields! orrr Nothing else! Please enjoy your 3 month stay! All this is yours since the prriiiiiceeee issss RIIIIIGHTTTT!!!! No substitutions exchanges or refunds.

Ladies, Gentlemen. Princess has been granted her wish. She will now have full involvement as a parent.

The daycare does field trips throughout the summer. They are costly but very fun. Waterparks, Lazer tag, Zoo's, Playlands, Planetariums, Childrens Museums etc. We signed them up for all the activities that fall on our days. Grand total: $409.00. I am sending home a form to Princess this evening with a note that reads:

"I have included a form of all the summer activities available to the kids through daycare. Please go over all the field trips with the kids and you guys decide which ones they will attend. All the blank ones fall on your days. The prices per child are listed in the item description. All the one's marked yes are on our days. The total for trips they are already attending is $409. Please return by end of evening tonight so I can turn it in. On the back are all the field trips they indicated they would like to attend on your days. Please let them know if that will not be possible."

Last year she told them that those activities are on HER days and do they really want to do those things instead of spend the precious little time they have with her visiting her?? Also would their dad help her pay for them, and if he didn't how was that fair??

This year the tables have turned. I showed sd's 10 and 5 the calendar that shows plain as day that they will be spending OVER half of their summer with her. So the time issue isn't a problem. We talked about how daddy and I will pay the $409.00 for them to do those activities and that was a lot of money so their mom will be monetarily and transportationally responsible for the one's that fall on her days. We went over all the field trips and they got to pick the ones they wanted to do and we agreed to them. I told them that we are giving her the choice to go over it with them and that whatever they decide together is up to her. We will no longer be the bad guys and the pawns in her little game to be the victim. We are not playing games but we are giving her the opportunity to show herself for who she really is and fall flat on her face. No hiding behind manipulations and lies. This extends into EVERYTHING. sd10 wants badly to go to a school party next weds. I informed her cheerfully that she will be having dinner night with her mom but that she was free to ask her if she could take them. She got very upset about it because she knows she wont be able to go and I told her not to be upset until she actually discusses it with her mom, she doesn't know for sure it will be a no. I know it will be a no but I will not be responsible for being the receiving end of her mother's disappointments any longer. I will be there for her, I will comfort her afterwards but I will not suffer the wrath of a child I did not disappoint. Skids want to glorify Princess as all biokids do - as is natural, but SO and I will no longer protect them from her. We will not shield them from her flakiness and sadly both they and she will see what it means to get the wish of having her "rights" to them granted. This summer I will get to be the fun stepmom on my 2-3 days a week and every other weekend with them. I couldn't be more excited.

Operation fun Stepmom/Disney Dad commenced. You see last year skids came home all summer long with stories of how fabulous Mom's house was and all the glorious cool things they got to do there all the while SO and I worked 50+ hours just to feed and clothe everyone. We didn't get to do SHIT with them besides buy a snap together pool and go to the dells for a one night stay. Then all of Princess's stolen/borrowed money ran out, Dingus's retirement $ ran out. Now they are struggling to make ends meet and the shoe is on the other foot. SO has his promotion and with it the ability to actually DO fun things this summer! We have decided since Princess will have them the majority of the summer that the days they are here we will just have a blast. We will either go places and do things or we will be having our neighbors, friends and family over for bonfires, pool parties, theme parties, bbq's - the works! We have already been invited to many many events and are very excited to actually do something OUTSIDE of every day routine stuff! SO and I can work on our relationship and doing things as a couple while they have the extended time there and we have the means to do so FINALLY! All of this has proven to me that there is a God and that good things happen to people who strive to be the better person and do what's right - treating those who don't deserve it with respect. In the end everyone gets their wish. We get to actually have FUN with our kids, and spend more time together as a couple. Princess gets hours of unadulterated time boring the kids to death and struggling to pay for their needs. The kids get equal time between mom and dad's houses and half of their summer packed with cool stuff to do! The only person who isn't happy is Dingus because he has to pay for it all and he hates her kids being around so much (Nobody cares what he thinks though do they? No)

#3. Skids - Grades look AWESOME. All around are doing very well. sd10 has started to dislike going to Princess's house because she is bored to tears and her friends and cool stuff to do is all here. She was super pissed when she found out sd15 and I had a girls day out on Sunday and she had to sit at Princess's with nothing to do. Sd5 has become very very affectionate towards me lately which is nice and having some of the parenting/household pressure lifted has made a HUGE improvement on my feelings and attitude towards them. I can actually have fun and enjoy them which is a big reason why I took this gig in the first place.

#4. Princess and her Bullshit.
Recall how princess requisitioned SO whether he loved me or not because she found out he is making the $$ and she is flat ass miserable? Well come to find out Sunday on my girls day that she actually asked sd15 if she thinks about Princess and SO getting back together? sd15 says that it pops into her head occasionally but that she thinks at this point it would just be weird and uncomfortable. Princess informs her that she thinks about them getting back together and thinks they will someday. I bite my tongue from telling sd15 that her father would rather have sex with and marry another man than get back together with her. I tell SO. We come to the conclusion that this behavior is decidedly stalkerish as it has been 3 years since they last shared a house together and over 4 years since they last slept in the same bed with or without action. Can't wait until (if) we ever marry. It'll be like the thumbtack to her balloon. Sorry! Your cash cow has disembarked from your crazy train! (Faraway satisfied evil look whilst picturing the scene)
Second on her agenda was to ask SO and I to please stop mentioning moving to the kids until closer to our move because it's really hard for her to hear about and think about. He politely said that was fine we could do that (we actually haven't been talking about it unless they've asked questions!) but her secondary request was the kicker! She asked that he quit telling them that they would see her after we move because: "we both know that isn't the case. I'll never be able to see them again because there is no way I'll have enough money to"

Ohhhh the boggling of the mind. SO refused to comply. He told her that he will extend the visitation to her when we move in 2 to 3 week increments and that if she should choose not to take it that it would be on HER to explain to them that she couldn't/wouldn't and/or the reasons why. That he would not be responsible for telling them that they would never see their mother again simply because we moved. I seem to agree.

Well that is all so far folks. I will continue to see how my situation pans out but SO seems to have taken these points very seriously and I appear to have gotten everything I asked for - so far. I am, as I said before, cautiously optimistic and pragmatic at best. Anyone have any thoughts/ideas to continue to make Princess responsible for her own actions/decisions? If so I'd love to hear it since that is the name of the game. We have decided that if she is to be in the picture she will need to be in it all the way and accountable for herself just the same as we have been forced to be!