That is funny.

I usually let my kids pick out things related to their own clothes and general apperance. If my daughter wants to wear polka dots with stripes I let her. If she wants to wear her hair a certain way, I let her.

I would probably draw the line at mohawks but I know a few people have made comments about how mismatched my daughter's clothes were. They probably think I'm a terrible parent, but I figure as long as she is dressed for the weather, it's fine.

Now what she can't argue with me about are things like bedtimes, rules, chores, etc. Those are my dealbreakers.

But I try to allow them a bit of autonomy through their clothes and personal appearance.

My Dh and I had an "discussion" about this recently. When my DS21 was in high school, I allowed him to get a mohawk. DH disagreed very heavily on me allowing this. I didn't see the harm, although I did have a long discussion with DS about how much emphasis society places on looks.

Anyway, MY side of things was that SD was allowed to dress like a skank (huge chest hanging out of lowcut shirts at age 14!!) with no reprecussions from EITHER bio parent and look how THAT turned out (SD was preggo only a few months after turning 16).

So, I totally agree at picking your battles when it comes to teen rebellion.

BUT - I doubt if I would have reacted the same to my son at *10* wanting to do that!! My son was 16 and getting As and Bs in school.

My friend from hs who was prego her junior year has a lil boy and for his school pics this yr (hes about 7 now) had a multi colored mohawk. I think i would be okay with a mohawk for summer, but not school. This kid can also play beer pong so that says a lot about her parenting.

We let SS7 have a mohawk at school for maybe 2 or 3 days. He was due for a haircut anyway. His classmates thought it was awesome. It got cut on Sunday before he went back to school. No chance he gets one for school pictures though.

With personal appearance issues, my opinion is that if it's not skanky, it's ok. DD10 is obsessed w/ dressing like a "teenager." She thinks teenagers dress like hookers, so I occasionally have to have the talk with her that when it comes to clothes, we both have to agree on it. I won't make her wear something she doesn't like, but she also isn't allowed to wear something of which I don't approve. However, I have allowed her to dye her hair before. The way I see it, she's just messing around and trying to figure herself out. I'd rather she do dumb things now, while it won't have a lasting impact on her life, as opposed to 10 years from now when it could cost her a job or deny her entry into a college.

I let SS13 have a mohawk during his last year of elementary school. Who cares?

I figure I'd let him get some of that stuff out of his little system then, and worry about the important stuff. He got tired of it quick, an dnow he has a regular hair cut. He's in middle school. I don't want him pushing for these radical appearance changes when he's in high school and needs to hold a job.

Pick your battles.

i've been letting bd17 do what she wants with her hair since she was 14. my only rule is that she cannot get it dyed more than once a year. she always gets it done for her bday. the first time she had it done, she got bright red streaks put in it that faded to a more normal shade of red after a couple weeks. another year she got it dyed black and got a different haircut. this year she got some blue put in it. i don't like the cuts she chooses. if i had my way, she would be wearing her long and in ponytails and braids like she did when she was younger. but it's not my hair. i had no choice in my hair as a kid, i had to wear exactly how mom wanted it. the problem is that she wanted it waist length when i was just a little kid and she would never do anything with it for me. i had to try to take care of it myself. she wouldn't even get out of bed and put it in a ponytail or braid for me, i had to do it myself and i was in 1st grade! it was a knotted tangled mess. i hated her for not allowing me any freedom. i wasn't asking for much, i just wanted it cut to my shoulders, but hell no.

that's a big part of why i let her do what she wants. it's just hair. who cares? she is old enough to make her own hair choices. i think older kids need a little freedom to express themselves. if she wants some blue streaks in her hair, what's the harm? she's not running around with a bunch of boys, smoking or drinking, and she's an honor student. so while some would think i'm a shitty parent to allow her to dye her hair wild colors, i think i have the important stuff down.