I met with the therapist that I found yesterday for mediating the meeting with BM. Went over the history with her. Hour later and she feels it serves no purpose to have a meeting with BM. Said that this would solve nothing. She will not change and I really need to take my power back and stop letting her comments to people and family get to me. Duh!! Knew that already. She thinks I should maybe do a few sessions with my personal therapist to get back to not letting her be a factor.

She kept saying that I should just sit back and watch all of this like a movie that I am not an actor in. As for meddling friends and acquaintances, I need to say that they should not believe what they hear and only half of what they see. Smile and walk away. Basically what I have tried to do. But, it did feel good to get some validation that this would have happened no matter what I did.

She said that my issues with SD are two years ago and BM is starting to feel guilty for what she did to DH, that it is easier to project that to me.

So now, I am to send BM an email that I have reconsidered my proposal to meet with her and have sought out counsel from a therapist and she does not feel it would be productive since we are coming to an end of the situation when SS turns 14.

I explained my guilt over SS wanting nothing to do with her at that point and she said it is not my problem. He will make his own choices and they are his.

As for SD, she did say that with her, that I never could have done anything to make her like me. I need to move on and let it go. I get that, but it is so hard, given that every few months, something happens that puts her back in our lives. She told me to prepare for the backlash that will come in July and the blacklash that will come when I tell her I won't meet her. DH will be thrilled since he knows it will come back to him no matter what happens.

I have tried to move on, but no one else seems to...So there is the answer on this, do not meet with BM's it will serve no purpose other than to dredge up the past and just continue to perpetuate the hurt. But, yet again, it feels like she will never get told off by anyone for her actions...

This sucks...