Oh, hell, SERIOUSLY??
Again. All.the.freaking.time.
SD19 is a royal pain in the ass princess. The world needs to revolve around her. She gets/demands/pouts for whatever she wants.
Because DH wanted her to be "taken care of" he agreed to pay insurance, medical, college, etc. Piss me off, but whatever. It's his kid; it's his money.
SD19 can't be bothered to actually have a relationship with DH, though. She can't even send him a birthday card. But want money? She doesn't even ask for that anymore, she has mommy file court actions.
WTF???
So, DH has paid medical, college, and doctor copays but DID NOT pay for her birth control and massages. (Yes, massages, as in, spoil me rotten. She has no chronic health issues and hasn't been in a car accident.) DH told her that those were her responsibility to pay. (She works 30 hours a week and has consistently for the last 2 years.)
What does she do? Have mommy take daddy to court. Greaaaat.
You know what fucking kills me?? The court just ordered DH to PAY FOR THOSE TWO ITEMS AS WELL!!!! Massages?? Massages?? Hour long, full body, every week!
I so hoped this would end at 18 and out of high school. Yeah, right!!
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Nope, graduated and in
Nope, graduated and in "vocational training." IE: private, short term college that costs an arm and fucking leg because she's too damn stupid to get into a CC!!
For THAT, we get to pay $20K. :sick:
OMG, so sorry to hear that.
OMG, so sorry to hear that. What fucking court system would do such a thing? I'd seriously appeal that shit.
Like many similar situations,
Like many similar situations, it's about a cost/benefit analysis.
If the bills total $500, is it better to just pay the damn money or fight it and possibly spend double that?
Screw it, the worst is that SD seems to think DH does nothing for her! Hey, SD, why don't you have awesome mommy-dearest pay for that shit?!? Oh, that's right. She wouldn't DREAM of spending her $$ on you.
=D I've just learned that
I've just learned that emotional warfare takes a toll on all participants, including myself and my husband. It's just no longer worth it to me.
Good point. I never really
Good point. I never really thought of it that way.
I was just trying to save some sanity for my golden years.
When DH got custody of SS19
When DH got custody of SS19 (16 when we got him) DH neglected to go straight to the CS office because BM somehow convinced him that she would give him back the check when she got it. 3 weeks later, when BM did exactly what I told DH she would do (keep the check), he went to the CS office to get his order modified. I made him stop making payments until the court date came. When the date came & he showed the courts that SS lived with him and that he had overpaid BM CS the courts gave him a credit on the arrears he incurred while waiting for the court date. BM got away with claiming poverty and was only asked to pay us $20.00 a week for SS when DH used to pay HER $1000.00 a month for 2 kids. The court asked him if he wanted the 20.00 and my DH said "ABSOLUTELY, deduct it from what I have to give her." The court officers smiled, because most men go in there and get royally screwed. BM than pulled out tuition statements for SD so DH was forced to pay 50% of that, plus the CS. THEN BM pulled out SSs cellphone bill! And the judge asked her "Is the cell in SSs name?" BM said "No it's in my name." So the judge told BM that they couldn't make my DH pay for that cell bill and that if she couldn't afford it, she should disconnect it. She replied that she'd get charged $200.00 for disconnecting it. The judge said that was HER problem. So even though she screwed us out of CS for SS, we still felt as if we'd won, because we ended up owing only like a weeks worth of CS for the arrears, which I sent to her $20.00 at a time for like 3 months, just because I felt like it. }:)
I declare warfare all the
I declare warfare all the time. I set land mines all over the place that BM steps in without fail each & every time.
EG: DH & I are taking Skids on vacation. DH told BM to sign the consent form so we could get SDs passport. BM refused and said DH should give her the forms AND pay the passport fee. DH refused to pay the fee. However, because I do want SD to join us, I had him give her a check, made out to the passport agency from our JOINT account.
Just because I know seeing MY name on his bank account makes her go NUTS. As I thought, she flipped out but DH ignored her.
Phase 2: BM tells DH she needs HIM to go get the passport pictures. (all $10.00 worth at Walgreens) DH tells her to fuck off. Last weekend, when SD was over, I took her for the pics. Walgreens asks for your phone#, your customer info comes up, they print a barcode label with your NAME on it and stick it to the back of the envelope of the passport pics. BANG, MY name AGAIN on something SHE needs to look at.
Today, I noticed the check cleared, which means, she took SD for the passport.
I kill me sometimes....
I wouldn't pay it. Then
I wouldn't pay it. Then you've set a new standard of living for her. Once it's been accepted as the standard, what next? Flights to NY for the best full body massage? It's getting out of control. Spend double that on an attorney now and avoid a nightmare later. Problem is, you dh will probably not want to have her go without. Sucks. I feel for you. Sometimes I want to scream at my dh, "Why do you like this kid, he is worse than evil! I hate him! Why do you think he's worthy of anything?!!!" Butcha can't. Sucks.
HAHAHAHA!! Oh, I needed
HAHAHAHA!!
Oh, I needed that.
I'm just grumbling about it... I figure it will wear off before I get home, because DH will be grumbling and I want to cheer him up!
WHAT!! The courts actually
WHAT!! The courts actually put it in writing that your DH has to pay for BC and massages for his grwon daughter?!!!
No, he agreed to and signed
No, he agreed to and signed the order stating he'd cover medical...both insurance and unreimbursed expenses. However, the administrative judge ruled that should INCLUDE birth control and massages.
Newsflash, judge: massages / massage therapy isn't even a FSA eligible charge. HOW is it considered medical when the feds don't consider it such??
I'd fight that. Seriously.
I'd fight that. Seriously.
Ridiculous, right? If I can't
Ridiculous, right?
If I can't use my FSA card to pay for it, HOW is it considered a medical expense??
I just hate it for DH. He (and BM) have raised a royal, spoiled bitch.
I told him once I'd kill myself if my kids turned out like her.
Wasn't very nice of me!
well...we all have a breaking
well...we all have a breaking point!
OMG. I would fight that to
OMG. I would fight that to the death! UGH
I can't get past the part
I can't get past the part where SD told her mom to take DH back to court! :jawdrop:
When are you going to be legally free of financially supporting this evil creeton? And does your DH see she only uses him as an ATM?
Oh, that's old news. SD is
Oh, that's old news. SD is VERY involved in adult matters.
BM brought her to mediation. :?
BM took her out of school to request a GAL and HAD HER SIGN the request. :?
And on and on.
Yes, DH sees this now. HOWEVER, because he willingly agreed to pay this stuff, he's bound by his previous agreement.
I have NO idea when it will end. When he dies?
Nah cause then she can get
Nah cause then she can get his SS check.
(No subject)
:O
Argh. Good point. BM already
Argh. Good point. BM already will, because they were married a long time.
THAT is crazy!!!! Although it
THAT is crazy!!!! Although it is his money-u two r married and have a combined income now! If there was no time frame on that-I would take it to court-where is the line?? He will b paying for her hair n nails n a tanning membership here shortly if he's not careful!! That is CRAZY!!! There is no way I would b ok with that....
I HAD thought about doing something evil to a particular person that I felt received a ridiculous amount of money that was not being used for what it should have been and was NEVER enough....just to see how she would have liked having to come up with the money to replace all tires, all windows n headlights n tail lights....since she was receiving more money than I made in a month at one point!!
Again....I fantasizes about it....I'm sure u have ur own way of dealing with it! Lord knows u need it if DH is still supporting his ADULT daughter...
I know there is a previous
I know there is a previous agreement, But I would see about having a deadline put on that. DH will only pay until SD is 25. Which again, is stupid. She has a job, she can pay for that herself. And I know you have to think in the long term, but I would fight the BC and massages tooth and nail! That is just complete BS.
I think it's officially
I think it's officially worded as until SD is considered an adult for tax filing purposes.
Haha, like SD or BM would ever show DH their tax returns!!
If you sue for a modification
If you sue for a modification they have to produce their tax returns. We did it to BM after she sued us....