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SO told me he new arragenment with SD was suposed to be a trial, but NO!!!

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 4:23pm

I am cranky with SO.BM was pushing the week on week off arrangement with SD7 for a while whereas we were happy with the existing regulation (EOWE and half a week)A while ago we had a conversation where he asked me about how to handle it and how I feel about it.We both came to an arrangement to start a trial of a couple of weeks at Easter.
Now that it is close to that thing to start, we had another conversation where he told me he will 'make it work" , since he knows I am worried.At the same time he told me that he doesn't see how we could reverse t since we agreed to this arrangement now.What????????? Wasn't he supposed to tell BM that we will have a trial for a few weeks and the decide what works the best???????????????
This is not a trial and I told him that.I also told him that I suspect that he didn't even sold it to BM as a trial, which he denies, of course.
I was rather angry and asked him, why he even talked to me and discussed the whole issue with me if he last but least made his decision with BM.
He apologised then , but it sounded sarcastic and more for the sake of me stopping to talk about it. :jawdrop:

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oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 4:59pm

BM requested it and even refused to sign the divorce papers until we gave in.
In fairness SO suggested it to her a long time ago and she didnt wanted it those days.These days we agreed that the old regulation worked really well and she initiated that silly change.
MM, I feel so run over!!!!

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 5:23pm

You know , MM , I felt in a way that I wanted to be supportive and give the trial a go.SD and I get along ok and SO tries hard to make things work.Plus he is tolerant towards my children spending more time here , eg in the holidays.Since the new arrangement doesn't mean more days but just different days I thought I would be fine, trying to help....Now I feel backstabbed and I don't know how to handle it.He makes me feel like I am a little stupid girl and tries to brush it off , telling me I am repeating myslef and doubting that his apologies are not genuine, blabla
But, hey,apologising after not arranging things the way we discussed it because he is scared of BM, how can I take this seriously?He only wants to go the easy way as it appears.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 5:27pm

I just send him a text message asking him if he and his ex put that new arrangement already in writing (maybe as a part of their divorce papers?????)I tell you I would be so cross if that's the case.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 6:59pm

Yes, thanks so much, I know that is all true.WE actually talked about 8 weeks when we talked first.
What makes me angry is that he tried to cover it up by saying that once we have started the arrangement it will be very hard to change it back.Why not , if he would have proposed it as a TRIAL it would have been supposed to be rediscussed after the trial period.
Anyway, SO and I are talking now and will talk again tonight.