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picky eaters

asheeha's picture

So, another blog brought this to mind.

I believe that my DH was NOT coddled as a child. He was expected to eat what was presented to him and he did. Apparently with a huge grudge that built up too.

Unfortunately, NOW he is EXTREMELY picky and has the food pallet of a 5 year old!

Favorite dish is mac and cheese and fish sticks...

Now sd8 is the finicky one. It drives me mad. I can't stand cooking for unappreciative, critical people. And I can't resolve myself to eating like a 5 year old for the rest of my life.

Any suggestions on how to get a child and an adult to eat more healthy and expand their pallet?

Comments

asheeha's picture

i don't believe in "forcing" anybody into anything either. i think it leaves a terrible impression and creates situations like DH. Sometimes he forces the kids to eat things too and it just irritates me to no end.

maybe this is a great time to point out my ideas so far:

with both dh and skids...
let them be involved in the meal decisions.

i'm going to have dh go through my recipes and pick out what he'd like to try. because as silly as it is that this upsets me it just does. i make a HUGE effort to make something he likes and it's a terrible blow when he doesn't and instead eats peanut butter and crackers instead of what i've prepared. so, he's just going to have to be involved in the planning process...no question.

i think the skids should be involved too. they get to be involved in the planning portion and then also in the prep. it gives them a sense of pride i think too.

but i'm VERY open to any suggestions. even cool ways to make healthy food more appealing, since i'm dealing with this not only with skids but DH too!

checkedoutsm's picture

That's a good idea, I had my DH go through a cookbook and circle all the recipes he likes.

asheeha's picture

thanks for the recipe resources. i work too and need fast meals that are healthy. Smile

asheeha's picture

i wish i was a little less of a "sweets" eater! but i don't think i'd survive in this family if i weren't LOL

i struggle with giving the kids too many choices. dh ALWAYS asks what they want, they are extremely good at knowing what they want because of this but i also think it's off balance!

i put limits around what they choose. it has to be a healthy well balanced meal with a meat and a vegetable. adults do have VETO power! Smile and we only see the skids EOW so, it's not so hard to do this.

i just don't want them thinking they have ALL the power. they often have moods, where they hate something that they liked two weeks ago. maybe i'm being lazy but that makes me nuts. better to avoid that happening, i might end up slapping one of them! if they have a say then it's less likely they are going to complain about the food on their plate. but even still sd8, changes her mind after the food is in front of her! i want to tear my hair out!

checkedoutsm's picture

Cook whatever you want, and if they complain then yell, pitch their food in the trash, and burst into tears.

J/K, My DH is really picky about food, too. When he was a kid he used to get out of eating vegetables by
crying about his parents being divorced. Honestly, the more you bring it up the more they dig in their heels.
Just cook balanced, healthy meals, and if they don't like it they can fend for themselves. If they say something
rude pick up your plate and eat in your room or at the computer or whatever.

checkedoutsm's picture

Update me on what you do to finally draw the line. When the skids used to come over I tried to ignore their insults and poor table manners, and it escalated to the point where they would make horrible gagging noises, laugh at me, spit their food on the table cloth, or make themselves vomit and throw everything I cooked in the trash every night while my DH just sat there doing nothing. I don't really give a damn about anyone's palate in this house anymore.

asheeha's picture

dh doesn't tolerate that kind of behavior! he is VERY good about skids showing respect. he's even getting better about table manners and things. asking for things, saying please and thank you. he would physically remove them if they did those things!

sorryilovemydogmore's picture

This is off and on an issue in our house as well. Particularly with the younger one who can be just downright manipulative. Sometimes FDH gets it and is firm about it, but sometimes not. The lack of consistency drives me almost as nuts as FDH one day saying "we need to be enforcing better manners" (um, no shit) and the next day telling me to "stop making a big deal of it." Hell yeah I'm going to make a big deal. I do the grocery shopping and the cooking. I can't stand eating with your kids because one constantly complains and the other chews like an f-ing cow. Some nights I can handle it, but a lot of times I use the excuse "I want to get my run in before dark so dinner's almost ready - you guys can go ahead and eat and I'll just warm it up when I get back." FDH knows exactly what I'm doing but knows better than to argue and the kids have no clue that it's because I don't want to eat with them.

AmIReallyTheStepParentHere's picture

I sometimes cook things in a way that I can hide what is really in them. Steam the spinach until its more like mush anyway, then I grind it into what ever I can that will taste good and camouflage it at the same time. DH is stubborn and would eat red meat and potatoes until his heart gave out.
SD2 knows now that what she says she doesn't like at dinner it going to be sitting there in her bowl in the morning for breakfast. She doesn't get to decide what she doesn't like until she has tried it. Out house rules include that DINNER = DINNER. There is no bartering, no trading, and NO bribes.

asheeha's picture

Out house rules include that DINNER = DINNER. There is no bartering, no trading, and NO bribes.

LOVE this. thanks for the great suggestion!

jojo68's picture

I feel all your pain...my SD doesn't eat what is cooked at mealtime period...she eats mostly fast food, candy, sodas, hot chips and fruit if she gets on a whim...or any snack (no matter what it is) that I have bought for myself and opens it and wastes it ( i wouldn't care if she actually ate. No bs...this is all this girl eats and DH, BM, and MIL think it's all gonna turn out fine. SD11's pallet is on the level of a 3-5 yr old. She drinks out of baby cups and I've even see her drink from a bottle that was meant for a doll. Weird huh :?

asheeha's picture

sd8 doesn't drink out of baby cups but she is the same otherwise. i'm slowly getting dh to appreciate stuff made from scratch more! but this is how he and bm raised the girls...you can't really "fight" that!

generally with her not getting to eat a desert will motivate her to at least "try" something or eat a bit more. so that's been helpful! Smile

i also don't cook some things for them, especially breakfast. i make them fend for themselves, i do let them know their choices so they don't pull out cookies or chips. Wink

dh seemed horrified that i didn't make them breakfast at first! :O he got past that though and has followed my lead in this area. Smile

simifan's picture

Let the defense add this...

There is scientific evidence to prove that picky eating is at times genetic - they are called super - tasters. They have an unusually high number of taste buds and are more sensitive to bitter tastes and fattiness in food. Most super-tasters like bland foods without a lot of taste (i.e. mashed potatoes, corn, Mac & cheese). Most hate strong, bitter foods which includes most vegetables, coffee and dark chocolate.

Yes I am a super taster - so was my Dad, Grandmother & yes, I passed it on - to my son.

That being said - there was little accommodation for me as a child nor will I make a lot of adaptations for my child. If you don't like what is on the table you do without. You must taste any new item at least twice.

My mother once tried the if you don't eat it you have it for the next meal - after 3 days & goddess knows how many reheats - I ate the dreaded disgusting green beans & promptly vomited them up - all over mom. Just the scent makes me nauseous to this day.

Accommodations easily made, you can do...
*Add sauces at the end - pull the picky eaters meat out first.
*Cook it plain & seperate - we will eat chicken cooked in water with no seasoning
*Always make at least one vegetable or side dish you know they will like
*Keep a frozen home cooked meal for the truly distasteful meal (This is the one accommodation I make that my own mother didn't - I will allow my son to exchange a meal in which he likes absolutely nothing - BUT it must be for another home cooked meal - NOT fast or processed food)

asheeha's picture

looked into it. it's true...dh and sd8 hate bitter foods. but they LOVE fatty junk food. if it's fried they will eat it. so...i'm not too sure they are supertasters...

maybe sd8 is...her favorite meal is mashed potatoes and rice :jawdrop: bland much? and she's not a big meat eater... but she eats hot dogs and polish sausage??? those are pretty fat-filled meats? i dunno, it's beyond me.

ctnmom's picture

I WAS a picky eater as a child. Now I eat literally everything except radishes. Perfectson22, DD19, DH and CTBB like everything too. DD12? Pretty picky, only likes "kid" food, we struggle to get her the daily intake of fruits and veggies. I found letting her pick out recipes from cookbooks( I have about a hundred, cooking is my hobby lol) a godsend. She also likes helping in the kitchen. So I vote for them getting more involved in the kitchen. Smile

forestfairy's picture

I'm so glad SO isn't a picky eater. Actually I've never seen one thing he won't eat. I have very little tolerance for picky eaters for some reason. Especially adults who won't eat veggies. I remember visiting my cousin and her ex husband in another state once (they were both extremely obese and ate horribly!), and you should have seen they way he reacted when I cooked a meal that included vegetables and whole wheat bread. "You bought BROWN BREAD!!?!?" LOL

Since I am the cook in my house, I make what I want. If SO doesn't like something he is welcome to cook himself, but he never does. I'm a vegetarian and so he pretty much never eats meat anymore unless we eat out. Maybe twice a year I'll cook him a pork chop or something. He's been eating a whole lot of tofu, quinoa, veggies, etc. hahahaha. Luckily, I'm a pretty good cook so he's found he really likes most of what I make. The day he ever bitches about what I cook, is the day he is on his own as far as meals go. He knows better.

Jerry Seinfeld's wife put out a cook book a few years ago that has all sorts of ways of sneaking veggies into food for kids. Those with kids who won't eat veggies should check it out.