OT-my current struggle with infertility

Some of you may or may not know that I am infertile. Essentially my body went into menopause at 28. It stinks, but it's been about 7 years, so even though it brings me to my knees on occasion, I've gotten pretty good at dealing with it.

DH and I were approached by a young woman who asked us to adopt her baby. We went ahead and pursued this option. Unfortunately, after having the baby for 3 days, the young woman changed her mind. Again, bringing me to my knees.

Our current effort to try for a child is to acquire embryo's that another couple produced through IVF but were left overs that were never used. This is not much different from adoption in that I will not be biologically related to the child, however I will get to experience child birth and there is no way that anybody can change their mind. (I do not blame her for changing her mind, it was just an enormously painful experience I'm not eager to risk anytime soon).

My doctors have tried to get my body ready to be a good environment for a baby. The first try didn't work and my uterine lining never got thick enough.

So we waited about a month and I've been taking injections the last week. I go in today for an ultrasound to see if my lining is ready this time.

I'M SCARED OUT OF MY MIND!!!

I hate this sense of failure that looms over me at every turn.

Sigh...thanks for giving me a place to share.

asheeha's blog
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Hugs Honey. I know that

Hugs Honey. I know that terror all too well. Baby dust coming your way.

Here's to hoping for you!

(((hugs)))!!!! DEep breaths

(((hugs)))!!!! DEep breaths and good luck at your ultrasound, fingers crossed and prayers for you! let us know how it goes k? And we'll be here for you either way!

just breathe...that's what my

just breathe...that's what my mom always told me when i was stressed out. it still works.

I'm sorry you've had such a

I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time. I hope that everything works out for you and your DH!

Asheesha - I am very sorry

Asheesha - I am very sorry to hear about your infertility Its painful when you have to deal with something like this and I wish you good luck in your next attempt, I am keeping everything crossed for you!

I dont blame you for not wanting to attempt to adopt again, while I can appreciate why that lady changed her mind it must have been absolute agony for you.

I am on a similar path myself, I had a miscarriage last year and am going to have to have a battery of tests to check level of problems and whether I need fertility treatment to try and get pregnant. I have also experienced a false state of menopause several times, induced by medication to try and help an existing medical problem, so can empathise how difficult this can be on you.

Good luck. You are in my thoughts! x

i'm so sorry for your loss.

i'm so sorry for your loss. it's such a frustrating and painful journey. they just don't know much about what causes infertility in most cases. also, check your dh...men contribute much more than women

Best of luck!!!

((hugs)) I will be thinking

((hugs)) I will be thinking of you and wishing for "baby dust" to come your way. Please keep us posted.

I am suffering with

I am suffering with infertility as well. We have been trying for over a year and a half and we have never gotten pregnant. We just had our first appt with the RE last Thursday (he was a complete douche).

I am so sorry for all that you have been through and how devastating it must've been when the mother came back for her child.

I hope all goes well with your ultrasound today!

well if your in the oklahoma

well if your in the oklahoma city area or the wichita, KS area i know of some great REs.

how awful to have to see someone that's a douche when you're already dealing with infertility.

hugs to you. pm me anytime if you just need to chat!

I'm actually in the Lousiana

I'm actually in the Lousiana area The other closest RE is in Dallas and with my Dh's work schedule, it just wouldn't work going that far.

Yeah, I was definitely surprised and it wasn't what I was expecting at all. He was 50 minutes late, asked us health questions (history etc. for which we had already answered on our new patient paperwork), wouldn't let us ask questions, it was terrible

Thanks so much asheeha You can PM anytime you need to chat as well

thanks so much for your hugs

thanks so much for your hugs and well-wishes. i've been on the verge of tears all weekend. and the stress was above normal, had to be in the bm's presence all day Sat! ugh. and then dh wasn't helping me much.

it was a rough weekend.

the problem with getting preggers is that the odds are even worse than adoption. but since getting menoupause is about .1% before 30 and a child being taken back after the birthmom leaves the hospital is about 5%...i figure my odds are better when only about 35% of frozen embryo transfers make it to a live birth!

i'm sure i'll be terrified a lot in the coming weeks if my lining is good.

thanks for being there and your support it helps a lot!

hugs to you all too!

Don't be terrified! If it

Don't be terrified! If it does happen, the BEST thing you can do is have a happy and anxiety free pregnancy. We're all rooting for you!

you are right. my faith is

you are right. my faith is being tested right now. i just have to let go and have peace that whatever happens will lead me to the place i'm supposed to be.

(((((Hugs))))) I too am

(((((Hugs))))) I too am unable to carry a child to term...I hated hearing about the thin lining of the uterus from the doctor.

I am with the others in hoping that the appointment goes well for you Asheeha!

My fingers and toes are crossed that your lining is there & ready to play!

(No subject)

Asheeha -DH went off his own

Asheeha -DH went off his own bat and saw our family Doctor, he is having a sperm test but we already know I have a medical problemsx resulting in fertility problems. My consultants are working on it.

Hopefully we all have some good news and soon!

Clomid? That's what it does

Clomid? That's what it does to me.

I told DH this past weekend that if we do IVF I'm donating any embryos that are left after we're all done having kids.

I'm currently struggling to

I'm currently struggling to conceive because of PCOS, so I can empathize with your infertility struggle.

I also happen to be in limbo. A positive pregnancy test Saturday followed by spotting and negatives since then. I'm a mess.

I hope everything goes well for you and that you get some great news after your scan! Is there anything you can take to help thicken the lining? I know my pcos/ttc forums are full of tricks & tips; but I don't know if that applies to early menopause as well.

I'm so sorry to hear this

I'm so sorry to hear this buckyeye My heart breaks for you. (((HUGS)))

Sending out good thoughts to

Sending out good thoughts to your uterus today (and you!)!

Oh good luck I hope its good

Oh good luck I hope its good news. I don't know if this will make anyone feel any better or not but my sister was told she would never be able to get pregnant. Supposedly she was the problem and so was her husband. They tried for 7 years and did invitro a bunch of times and it never took. They spent about $100,000 between them, my parents and his parents. Then she decided she couldn't take it anymore, she was so depressed that they decided to adopt. She somehow ended up pregnant with twins when she finally gave up. When the twins were babies she got pregnant again but unfortunately lost the baby when she was 8 1/2 months.

So you just never know.