DH and I have been together 7 years. We married after dating about 6 months. We have 3 children together and one on the way. DH was married before also, he has 4 adult children. Their mother is not in the picture. SD is 24, SD23, SS is 21 and SS is 19. My step children have never been fond of me and neither have my In-Laws. I really don't get along with my step kids and don't really have a real relationship with them.My MIL can be a real witch at times and when DH and I married and he made some changes in regards to raising the step kids and discipline, everyone was blaming all the changes he has made in his life on me! When DH and I first met the step children were SD18, SD17, SS15 and SS13. SD24 was only living at home part time, at the time SS19 was very sick and she would come by to visit him. SD24 was out of control, she was partying, getting tattoos and sneaking around. She had also recently began dating her now husband, who was 26 at the time! DH was NOT happy one bit and bitched about it every chance he got, it caused issues between us. SD was out of control, after our marriage she began acting out even more. I was newly pregnant and it was all just too much, I told DH something needed to be done. He asked her to leave, she did so and 3 days later married her then-26 year old boyfriend! We were so angry, MIL and the In-Laws didn't seem to care really. SD24 was making some lifestyle choices we didn't agree with. We step away from her for a while. SD24 and her husband moved to a home not far from us. SD23 and SS21 moved in with SD24 nd her husband. It was madness and we needed a break from them. The In-Laws lashed out at us and blamed me for DH taking a break from his kids. They blamed me and our religion and said they were "on the step kids side". They came around eventually and said they were sorry, we patched things up for the most part. SD23 and SS21 moved around between the In-Laws house and SD24 and her husband's house. SD24 had limited contact with us. When we began having our babies she would come by here and there. We didn't approve of her husband but tried to accept the suitation. Now, DH keeps saying "misses his daughter", we are working on trying to make things better. SD23 watches our 4 little ones during the day and SD24 lives within mins from our house so she will visit sometimes. She is very good with our kids. Dh and I are working towards rebuilding our relationship with SD24. In all honestly, I could care less though, I am just supporting DH. I really don't care if SD is in our lives or not.

SD24 and her husband are very close with the In-Laws, MIL had a birthday dinner last night for SiL. MIL is very close with SD24, she isn't as close with our children and I can see how it hurts DH. SD24 didn't know we were going to be there and when we arrived her and her husband (who we will call J) were making some kind of vodka drinks. J, who is now 32, was sitting in on MIL's couch with a drink in his hand. FIL gets along really well with J and they were discussing how J got hurt doing a side job and threw out his back. FIL went to grill the food and when we arrived it was just SD24 and J in the living room, we walked in on the tail end of their conversation. SD24 tried to kiss J, J laughed and said no, he was in pain. SD24 giggled and said something along the lines of "Oh, you weren't saying that last night haha you were begging for more". Just picture it, them sitting in the living room, drinking and mentioning their sex life. I thought DH's head was gonna explode! She acted like some nice little wife the entire evening and was kissing up to MIL every chance she got, she made snide remarks about how I wasn't helping with the food or anything. Um, too bad I am 14 weeks pregnant and can't even look at food without throwing up! MIL then came in to greet us and the kids. As much as we have our issues with them, SD24 and J are great with our kids, they were playing with the kids and DH and I went into the backyard to see the rest of the family. DH's brother, BIL2, is getting married next weekend. It is a destination wedding in Vegas, DH and I are going. BIL's soon to be bride was talking about the wedding and BIL2 made some joke about how SD24 should made the drinks at the bar at the wedding because whatever vodka mix she was good. DH said something about how he wishes she wouldn't drink as she use to get a little out of control when she was younger. It pisses me off that he still feels the need to treat SD like a kid, even though we don't get along, I feel bad he does this to her at times. She does deserve it though for all the hell she put us through lol.MIL then said "Well hopefully she has a reason to stop drinking soon" and winked. I asked what that meant and SD23 said "That means we want them to make me an auntie". DH just sighed and sat down, he feels like he barley knows his daughter anymore and she talks to everyone but him. She tells everyone it's because of "her", meaning me. MIL made a snide comment on how rude we are to SD24 and J. FIL said how we should be proud of them, they have been married 6 years, have successful carees blah blah blah. The In-Laws always choose SD over everyone. In DH's eyes it pains him his daughter has become a total stranger and his family supported all the changes in her life when we weren't speaking to her. At 18 she married a 26 year old man is what he always says, I personally was just glad she and her drama were gone. SD and J always make a big deal of being really lovey-dovey and are always making out in front of everyone, it's kinda awkward. At the party she took MIL and SIL in the living room and were showing them some new lingerie she bought. When i walked in the room she gave me a dirty look and rolled her eyes./SD24 and J left before us, when they came out to say goodbye she asked me if I wanted to bring the kids over to her house next week because they are opening their pool. If thoug we don't get along, SD loves our children dearly and DH and I do allow her to spend a limited amount of time with them. FIL said "Forget their kids, start thinking about having your own, J is getting any younger". DH had also mentioned earlier in the night if this new baby is a boy, he might wanna try for another little girl. FIL said "Your too old, just give it up and stop trying to show off" WTF does that mean?! DH and i feel like the black sheep now, all the In-Laws are all over DH for "pushing his daughter away". DH is feeling so depressed. He feels like he can't relate to his daughter anymore, he barley knows his son in law, and he can't stomach the fact she wants to have children with him. Again, I could care less, DH is the one voicing these "issues" to me. He is always trying to call her and get together, he feels like he needs to work that much harder to have a relationship with the step kids now that their adults, I told he it shouldn't be that way. DH is very upset about SD and his family's constant comments. Any advice on how I can get DH to accept the fact SD is married and stop whining about it? What should we do about the In-Laws? Please no bashing, I will post more info if you need it. Thank you in advance.