With all the papers signed and on their way to both BM's....... every time DH phone rings I automatically get sick to my stomach. I know that when she gets those papers that everything she has done lately and for the past 5 years will be NOTHING compared to that phone call. Previous phone calls, texts and emails will be like a soft puppy compared to what we are in for. And I feel sick. I feel sick just typing this. This has consumed our entire being. I got an amazing job offer this past week with a HUGE increase in pay and because of all the drama at home I am unable to focus. I am unable to make any kind of choices because I just can't seem to pull my head out long enough to see what is ahead of me or what is going on.

I got offered a job that pays almost $4 more an hour. Which will help myself and my children out. We will actually be able to get enough groceries to last. We will actually be able to afford gas to get my son to and from things. I will be able to have more than $20 left over from my check when I pay my rent. So of course I took the job. Well........ my current employer came to me with a job offer to keep me. Pretty much matched the pay and the hours are so much better here. I am off at noon on fridays. Free to attend my sons sporting activities. AND I get paid for a full 40hrs. EVEN though she lets us leave at noon. So here I sit. I am suppose to start this new job on the 10th. And now I am just a wreck. Don't know what to do. Hell I don't even feel I'm emotionally capable of making any kind of decision right now since everything in my life seems to be so INSANE. And on top of it we had a girl call our office yesterday who knows my manager. She hasn't spoke to my manager for over a year. She called to tell her she interviewed for a job (the job I got) and they pretty much told her she was hired. THEN called her back 3 days later and told her they were sorry but they went with somebody more experienced in the "clerical" field. SHE then told my boss that somebody from that department told her that was BS that I had NO experience. And I only got the job because I know somebody in management. Then she asked my manager how our office was running and if there were any changes..... SO clearly somebody from this NEW place where I accepted a job is leaking shit regarding myeslf and a friend of mine who is yes a manager in a completely different building. I feel like that right there is just BS. But am I over reacting because I'm on edge about everything else going on? UGH!!!!!! I just don't know what to do.

Then to top it off SS15 calls last night. Making small talk (we can hear BM in the background) he then throws in there, "hey dad could you go put some money in our account?" My DH said sorry buddy I just can't I don't have it. Then SS15 says well maybe next week could you go put some in our account? Again DH says I'm sorry but I can't do that. MIND YOU WE JUST DEPOSITED HER CS ON TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Then SS15 says well maybe next month you could dad. OMG is she for real? Having her kids call to ask him for money? Maybe this bitch doesn't realize just how lucky she is? My DH does the following for her:

He makes the deposit for her. Instead of mailing her CS. HE goes to HER bank and he USE to deposit cash so she could have it right away. BUT since I expressed to him we can't track that he has been doing checks or MO. She is pist off because checks you have to wait a day. So that isn't flying with her. UM he is doing HER a favor by putting it into her account for her. instead of putting it in the mail for her to do HER OWN DAMN DEPOSIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh........ I am spent. And the hurricane hasn't even hit yet. I need to find some level ground. I feel like I'm just one big emotional pile of tears.