shes hurting him more than she knows

:?
Hello everyone, I am new here and new to talking about my situation.

I have a step son who calls me and his BM both mommy, mom, mama etc.
She lost custody to him due to drugs and child neglect. He came to live with his father and I 2 years ago. at the age of 2 he was not potty trained and only knew 2 words. Let me also add he didn't even know who his BM was. yeah, sad i know! Anyhow we got full custody of him not to long ago and now that's shes "clean" I have become the target. So that's what she thinks....my son told me today after school that she has been telling him that he only has one mommy. I asked him how that made him feel. He said Mama she makes me sad. I said why. He responded by saying because I am his mommy too BC I take care of him. As my heart melted and I felt joy, I also felt anger and could feel his sadness. How dare she try to brainwash my son. I am going to have a talk with her very soon BC I cant sit back and watch my son almost in tears when he talks about it anymore. I need some advice on how to bring up the convo without having it blow up. please help me!?!?!?

TO ME, ANY WOMAN WHO CHOOSES DRUGS OVER HER OWN FLESH IN BLOOD DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE CALLED MOMMY. SORRY BUT ITS MY OPINION.

KsMommy's blog
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thanks for the advice. i am

thanks for the advice. i am going to let my fiance talk to her about it all. I can careless how she feels about me but when my son is crying bc he feels that she is trying to rip us apart makes me very upset. I understand her feelings and I take them into consideration. If I was in her shoes and I did what she did (which were horrible things that I rather not mention)i would expect him to call someone else mommy if she has done a better job than me and i could see their bond and love. BUT that's one way where I am different than her.

Thanks a bunch. Its just been

Thanks a bunch. Its just been hard and a big shock to me seeing that this is the first time ive had to deal with her in 2 yrs. Used to be Me him and his father. All this is so sad but I am in it for the long haul and she just needs to get used to it. I tell myself everyday...she did this...not me!

I sometimes wish his BM would

I sometimes wish his BM would just give up and leave. I know that sounds bad but shes only been in his life for a short time and already has tried to turn it all upside down again. I cant watch her do that to him anymore.

I would tell your son that

I would tell your son that most kids have one mom and one dad.

Then I would tell him that you are a mom by heart not blood.....and some kids are lucky enough to have heart mommy and heart daddys as well as biological mommys and daddys. Don't use the word real

I have a bit of a different

I have a bit of a different perspective than most. You are YOUR son's only REAL mom. The WombIdiot can call herself whatever she likes but she is nothing more than an incubator for YOUR son. IN fact an incubation machine would have more value in your son's life than this dipshit has. At least an incubator can not be a toxic influence. So, treat her with the respect she has earned which is absolutely ZERO!

As for your son, I went through similar experiences with my son. His mom and I married when he was 1yo so my experience and yours have some parallels. My son is now 20 so we are nearly two decades farther down this path than you and your family are but it is a similar path.

How I dealt with this was to explain to my son when he came home from a SpermIdiot and SpermCLan visitation with their toxic "He is not your dad he is only your step dad and you can't call him dad" that a BioDad is a dad who made you with your mom just like you make a puzzle. A StepDad is a dad who is married to your mom but did not help make you. I also explained that a REAL dad is a dad who goes to work and works hard every day to provide a nice home for the family to live in, a safe neighborhood, good food to eat, good schools, helps teach him to read, teach him to write, to ride his bike, to use the toilet, to brush his teeth, tucks him in to bed and reads him a story every night and who loves he and his mom very much.

Even at ~3-4 years old he was a smart kid. He looked at me and said "A step dad sounds like a real dad to me. Dad, can I go outside and play?"

Your kid is smart. He knows who his REAL mom is. Keep loving him, explain the facts and truth to him to counter any toxic crap that the WombIdiot tries to dump on him and be his MOM.

As for the toxic WombIciot, revel in baring her idiot ass every time she gives you the chance. Even idiots will learn after a while that when they crawl out from undeer their rock to cause trouble that they get smacked in the fact with the CO. The more consistently you apply this lesson the less frequently they try to crawl out from under their rock. My Skids SpermIdiot learned the truth of this pain. Unfortunately his mother, my Skid's SpermGrandMa, did not and we had to apply the pain frequently and consistently nearly the entire duration of my SS's 17 year Custody/Visitation/Support order. I did not leave these battle for my wife to fight alone. We are equity partners in our marriage and equity parents to our son so the battles with the Blended Family Opposition were ours to fight together. So we fought our war together. We won by the way. Our son is a young man of character and is a self supporting adult serving in the USAF and going to college for his BS. At 20 he is far more successfly than his 42yo POS SpermIDiot and the entire SPermClan combined for that matter.

My only regret is that he will have to deal with those idiots for his entire life. The SpermIdiot went on to have three more out of wedlock spawn with two more baby mamas after my wife dumped his worthless POS ass. My son's SpermIdiot half sibs are tools that the adults in the SpermCLan use to manipulate him. He is learning this and dealing with it but it pisses me off that he had to deal with it at all. But, as we always have his mom and I will have his back.

Good luck.

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