Dear DH
Dear DH,
I love you. Very, very much. But the financial foibles you and BM have made over the years, not to mention the money that I've spent to help you and your older two kids (that I could have allocated for savings, or household, or things for my older two kids), have me constantly in money watchdog mode. And I am afraid that we simply cannot afford for SSs to participate in ANY expensive activity they'd like (no matter how much they WAAAAANT TO). At times it may be unfair, because my DS and DD may be participating in activities that SSs will not be.....but the only answer to that is to make more money to afford it. You will not be able to enroll them in these activities and then watch me scrape money together for groceries. You need to contribute to the household above all else. This is not a free ride, not for you and certainly not for SSs. Their filthy pig of a mother can sign them up for whatever the hell she wants on her custody time but as far as the two of you agreeing on activities which tell you upfront that they will have optional fees that the team will decide on throughout the season? You know the ending of this as well as I do.
Love,
MJL
(Sounds of pulling of hair and gnashing of teeth)
Divorced dad guilt and entitlement (wanting to give skids everything he can, whether they deserve it, or whether he can afford it or not, because he feels guilty) SUCK.
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Comments
sounds good to me!!!!!!!!!
sounds good to me!!!!!!!!!
Good job! Keep it up, hope
Good job! Keep it up, hope it works.
Thanks, ladies!!!
Thanks, ladies!!!
I Thank God that I was able
I Thank God that I was able to open my BF's eyes to that bullshit! He now knows that when he gives BM 230.00 per week for their S11 that money can and will and should take care of EVERYTHING for that kid! PERIOD!!!!
If BM wants to sign him up for ANYTHING...SHE WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO PAY FOR IT or oh well skid maybe next year...
It just goes to show what a greedy, gold-digging POS BM is because if/when she doesnt sign him up or pay for shit we KNOW that the money my BF pays for CS is NOT going to skid but to HER materialistic lifestyle and her other 4 crotch droppings from 3 different men....
BM better get to learning REAL QUICK not to fuck with me!!!
I am a BM too and my X pays CS for our S8 and I use every damn penny of that money on my son for his school tuition and I NEVER ask for a penny more for ANYTHING so it can be done...shes just a selfish bitch and she & skid will NEVER have any power over any of our finances as long as I am around }:)
I think that is what
I think that is what frustrates me so much with BM. I am a BM too and my ex payed CS faithfully for 15 years (our kids are all grown) I never asked him for one red cent extra!!!! In 15 years I worked full time and used the CS to pay for all the extras and fun things for my bios. They had a great childhood. They didn't get to do some things that I couldn't afford but they survived somehow LOL
Its these entitled,greedy,lazy, non-working, POS BM's that always have their hand out that make me sick :sick:
Bleh, I know. DH is lucky in
Bleh, I know. DH is lucky in that they share custody so he pays no cs. But, this crazy bitch has spent herself into oblivion her whole life and never repaid a cent of what she owes anyone. She will not be stopping anytime soon, especially for things that will show the world how fabulous she and her boys are!!! And DH needs to be strong (and realistic) about it.
Go Tasha!!!
Go Tasha!!!
After this whole Washington
After this whole Washington D.C. trip that BM signed SD14 up for and paid for without our knowledge, and then DH feeling guilty saying he'd pay for 1/2 - I think he's learned his lesson about speaking before he thinks things through.
Now, if SD wants ANYTHING extra above and beyond what child support pays for, and BM approaches DH about it - he's going to "think about it" and get back to her before agreeing to anything.
Oh good for you- I love
Oh good for you- I love hearing about someone learning from a mistake. Especially when it's a mistake involving a crazy BM!!
Good luck stoping it....These
Good luck stoping it....These BM's think they are entitled to do whatever they want. We pay for SS karate and do not ask her to contribute, but if she signed them up, she asked. I would like to do her in over the damn braces alone. Pre-Braces rip off to the tune of thousands and now he has to have regular braces and there goes more money. We have no CS so DH is paying for that since we have him full time now. But, that stuff started with her and we are still reaping that mess.
She put the kid in social therapy and made us pay every other time on our week. It was crazy and I don't think did anything, I think maturity solved that problem. We were paying a therapist for him to eat pizza with kids and play games. Absolutely ridiculous. But, again she throws money at problems rather than try to fix it herself....
I will bet he will start lying about giving her money for these things, rather than fight with you.
If he does, there goes the
If he does, there goes the joint bank account. I am not footing the bill for this bitch or her children. Grrrr let him try!!!! I will begin itemizing everything. My undiagnosed OCD would love the challenge!
hang in there! I'm doing
hang in there! I'm doing this too. I was shocked how much money "here and there" went that direction. "My" undiagnosed OCD is now on top of it!
Ugh!! It's just amazing, the
Ugh!! It's just amazing, the phenomenon of people who cannot say "no" to things they know they can't afford. Our BM owes tens of thousands of dollars to so many people- her parents, friends, banks (she declared bankruptcy at one point) and has NEVER curtailed her spending. In fact, she thinks that SSs should be doing activities like horseback riding, travel soccer and downhill skiing. Ummm...really?? (Scratching head)