When a 34 y/o does a 10.5 y/o homework...again.
Omg here we go again. Ss had a book report to do. He's had over a week to do it, meaning 6 days with mom to do it and 4 days with dad.
Rewind: Dh ASKED ss on Saturday if he had homework. Ss said NO. I told dh to check his planner because he has to sign it anyway. He doesnt.
Exactly 1 hour before drop off time Sunday...BM texts dh and tells him about book report. Dh blows a fuse..ss starts working on it..gets dropped off its not done.
Monday Dh goes to get ss off the bus for visitation...he's not on the bus. Finds out ss had a doctor appointment at 10 and bm had to work at 1230 so she let him MISS SCHOOL to FINISH the report.
Dh reads over what ss wrote...grammer is horrible, sentences make no sense, whole thing is a wash. He pulls out his laptop and starts reading report to ss making ss type as he corrects it and explains the corrections.
We don't have a printer. I remind dh of this. Ss throws a fit because he doesn't want to write it. Dh says he'll call his sister and print it out there. Its now only 1 hr before drop off, they've/dh has been working on this for over 3 hrs. His sister isn't answering.
Exactly 0 .5 hrs before they have to leave ss tells dh he needs a 3d "anything" to go with his project. Dh is about to go nuts. He tells ss to make a paper airplane...ss says he doesn't know how (bull$hyt)
Dh finds cardboard downstairs and makes ss an airplane with tape, cardboard, and popsicle sticks. I'm watching a grown man make an airplane for his kids project. Seriously. Wtf. Dh still can't get in touch with his sister, he tells ss to call bm to see if her printer works. I don't know what BM was on...but ss must have said "does your printer work"...even spelled. It. Out. about 15 times before getting an answer. No.
Now dh is going to go to work early...print it out at work (which he ISN'T allowed to do) and put it in the mailbox before ss goes to school.
This is the SECOND time SS and BM have done this. If it was my kid, he'd be re-writing it by HAND...and not having a 3d project due to his own demise...and I would be exchanging words with my "other half".
Ss is never going to learn...all he and BM learned is "daddy to the rescue!!" like always.
Are ALL exes like this?? Wtf happened to "best interest of the CHILD???"
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Yeah
I am with you on this one. DH would rush in to help but I would retreat to the bedroom. When he would turn up and ask me what is wrong I would tell him that "there is nothing sexy about a grown man doing 5th grade homework for his son because he cares more than his son does." This usually followed with the hrumphing and man-annoyed noises. I would just turn over and tell him I will not put my life on hold until he finishes repeating the 5th grade. You could add it is also very creepy to make out with a man who has just typed a book report about a school library book and messed with paper and tape to make a model plane. He needs to let his son fail now in elementary school and learn that lesson rather than in high school when it can really start to matter. And to top it off, his son lied to him and said he didn't have any homework. School work due to be handed in is homework....
I don't recall DH ever doing
I don't recall DH ever doing the project for ne of the boys, but homework was a sore subject for a LONG time with YSS.
YSS had reading and math logs to do in elementary school where he was supposed to read for 15-20 minutes plus write a few sentences on what he read and play math games or something similar for 10-15. Every weekend DH had the boys, YSS would have the whole week's worth of logs to do. If it were the weekend of a holiday, like Spring Break, where he was supposed to read/do math the full two weeks, he'd have two weeks to do.
We would spend HOURS on his weekends with YSS trying to get him to read and write. It was a massive fight and I hated BM more and more every weekend because of it. I'm not saying DH shouldn't have to help YSS with homework, but when DH only gets 48 hours with his sons every two weeks, it would be nice if he didn't spend literally 6 of those hours with YSS trying to make him do something that would have taken 30 minutes each night.
The kicker to all this was that BM worked part-time for much of this and her DH (who the boys called "Daddy" at her insistence; this isn't a disengaged SF) was a "SAHD" to the boys. There was a parental adult with them every night of the week and NEITHER could or would get YSS to do his work.
The last straw for me, and thank God it was the last month of elementary school, was also a school report. YSS knew about it for WEEKS. BM knew about it for WEEKS. DH knew about it the weekend before it was due, and YSS hadnt even picked out a book yet. He couldn't find one at his reading level (which is super high,.and finding books in elementary school was a challenge), but never talked to his teacher. DH and YSS scrambled most of Saturday finding a book, which YSS read overnight, and then DH went out and bought the stuff YSS needed for his project. I lost it on YSS, and then complained to DH that it was so typical of them both to put things off and expect DH to be the hard arse to fix it (and pay for it).
I'll give DH credit, though, that while he helped YSS formulate his thoughts for the project, he didn't write it for him. YSS still went home with a lot of the project to do, to the annoyance of BM, but that ENTIRE weekend was devoted to making sure YSS could get that done. It BLEW.
I have no real suggestions for you other than to continue on with your plans even if you have to continue alone. Let DH come to the rescue, and if he complains, just tell him that sounds awful.and change the subject. He'll either learn to le SS flounder and fail, or he'll continue to rescue. Either way, don't let it impact your life and plans.
SS has reading logs to do
SS has reading logs to do daily as well; 30 min/day. This never gets done on the weekends because ss swears he did it during the week already. Judging on his sentence structure and horrid skills on this paper...I doubt it. His BM is also known for not doing homework during the week when it is about to be DH weekend. Example: this project. Only problem is, daddy dearest isn't checking the planner like he is supposed to so nothing gets done, and ss has lied about having homework before so I'm not shocked in the least. We are also in the same boat with "available adults". Even if BM works; she has her sister, sister's husband, her mother, and her brother and his wife at the house. They all live together. Now I know it isn't up to them to make sure ss does his homework, but there is ALWAYS and adult around when ss is home for help if needed.
My kid is almost 11 and in
My kid is almost 11 and in 5th grade. We have had one incident where he forgot. He scrambled and stayed up to finish. I am a believer in natural consequences. If he had not done it he would have had to go to school and deal with his teacher and he knows this. I would never do his homework.
I am curious to know what
I am curious to know what grade your husband got on his homework assignment.
Read my newest blog...a zero
Read my newest blog...a zero
The Girhippo and StepDaddyBigBucks Routinely
did skid's homework for them. I could alway tell as the GRADES told the entire sordid story.
1. Gir and SDBB would ignore HORRRIFIC grades by skids not turning in any assignments
2. Gir and SDBB would get a warning letter from school that skids had acquired so many ZEROES for nothing handed in
3. Gir and SDBB suddenly get on the stick and start doing the homework FOR skids.
4. AMAZINGLY skid's homework assignments grades would jump from a loooonnnng string of ZEROES to 95-100%!!!
5. Tests given on the homework subject at hand shortly therefter would result in EPIC FAILURE GRADES! (SHOCKER!!)
6 Wash, rinse, repeat.
I'm sure as a teacher, they see quite a lot of this hobbling. If I were a teacher, I would call the PARENTS on these shenanigans!
That is the same method of
That is the same method of academic guidance my skids received: planners and assignments were ignored for months until a week before the grading period. Then BM would make a mad dash to complete all of the missing assignments. Sadly, they pushed them through elementary and middle school with this method. Once the skids hit high school she stopped "helping" them and now SSstb18 has flunked out and won't graduate. Sd16 is on the same damn path.
Yep!
OSS21 signed up for remedial high school community college and stayed just long enough to get the grants and loans, then dropped out. (Two to four months) He went from dishwasher at a casino to dishwasher/cook at a local pizzeria where SD19 works. He was told by the Girhippo that he would have a career as a Rock Star (TM). *wacko**dash1**lol* To think he could have learned lucrative construction skill trades from Chef, but OH NO, the Gir wouldn't have THAT!
SD19 is enrolled in remedial high school community college right now but is flunking out. She may have already dropped out for all we know but even though Chef is entitled to see her attendance via FERPA (he claimed her as a dependent on 2016 taxes) the registrar went to radio silence. Probably after the Gir and SD objected violently to Chef knowing ANYTHING about her PASed out ass.
YSS15 routinely is truant so this should be interesting. We will have to shop for another attorney next year in preparation for SD19's emancipation when she turns 21. (Good ol' BM-centric NYS!!) Of course the Girhippo, who said she doesn't want any CS as long as Chef tries to get involved as a parent, is still collecting massive CS and will probably fight to keep it past 21-24 for SD19 as she is "learning disabled--other" (smokescreen for terrible non-parenting)
Hey that's nothing!
I wrote recently about how DH not only did his twin grandsons model making homework but was going to get someone who works for him to make it! In the end he made lots of wooden bricks and got them to assemble it themselves. The crazier thing was that OSD took photos of them assembling these things and put them on Facebook to show that it was all 'their own work' because the teacher would have known straight away wouldn't she? The other mad thing was that his grandaughter had done the selfsame homework two years earlier and proudly brought her paper one downstairs to show she had made it all by herself and no one had made a fuss about it! That is one crazy family I'm telling you!