OT- MIL vent (again??!!??)
My MIL watches my house with all the diligence and fervor of a Soviet spy. She even has binoculars and emails reports to my DH! Lately, she waits until I am mowing the lawn and pops up either at the fenceline with step-dog (see past post) and talks loudly to her hoping to get my attention or just wanders into my front yard, laughing, because "the dog wanted to come over". Not only does this infuriate my dogs, it has been making me increasingly anxious. She's deliberately burned her bridges with me and is now testing boundaries, again, figuratively and literally.
She had a gate installed between our two fences back before I knew she was a complete loon. It's not 100 percent sturdy and her Pyrenees could pop it open with enough pressure. My dogs are for protection and guarding the house. They do not like MIL at all and do not see step-dog as part of the pack. MiL still walks the untrainable little jerk down to the gate whenever my dogs are out and aggression follows. It is so extraordinarily severe, I have been wondering if she has been walking her dog into my garden while I am at work. MIl LOVES to aggravate my older dog and would take joy in hearing her scream helplessly from the house, trying to guard her territory.
Which brings me to what is keeping me up at night. My DH lives out of state (scary, dangerous job, contract not long enough to uproot family) and we are waiting to hear back on a different job that I would be willing to move for. We would keep our current house for him when he travels back here for military service so I would probably leave some things here, too, for now. A bed, my son's things (18, going off to a trade school), memory boxes, etc. The last time the house was empty, MIL went through everything with a fine toothed comb. Every box, shelf and drawer got comrade MIL's special attention. She even decided to throw stuff away from DH's desk after I specifically told her to leave it alone. God only knows what else she did.
What if she finds a way into my home when we move for this job? What if she goes through my stuff? What if she decides to throw something of my son's away that he cherishes? She's like an evil that keeps me awake at night. I couldn't eat dinner last night because she pulled the fenceline bs again and it set off a troublesome level of anxiety.
What do I do?
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Comments
This sounds awful! It must be
This sounds awful! It must be torture living so close to your H's mother. I hope that you guys can move far away from her because she seems like a bored miserable old hag. God forgive me I hope one of your dogs bite her on her behind so she can stop being such a nosey witch! Some people have nothing to do but be a pain in the @ss. Does your H know that she causes you this much angst?
Install a camera/security
Install a camera/security system and change the locks then go live in peace. If she enters your home the police will be called. Play dumb and say you have no idea who that is!
They have cheap, pay as you go, systems now. Most with free install.
Your MIL lives next door to
Your MIL lives next door to you, woman you are a saint. To close for comfort. But after reading your blog I know I don't need to tell you that. You have all my sympathy.
I am sickened that she gets pleasure out of tormenting your dog. People that get enjoyment from things like that are devious and are missing empathy towards animals. She sounds evil.
You need to get a good security system and bust her evil a$$ if she dare to enter your home. The thought of her going through your things is just so wrong. The woman is a full fledged stalker. It would serve her right to get busted for breaking and entering.
Can you put a padlock on that
Can you put a padlock on that gate to prevent her from coming through? If not, what about building a fence "foyer" - a sort of box around the gate area. MIL could go through the gate, but is boxed in and unable to access your property. MIL needs to be told that her dogs are NOT allowed on YOUR property. Period. Dot.
I agree with getting a security system and cameras. If you think MIL has keys to your home, have all of the locked changed before you leave. If she breaks in, prosecute her.
You and Dh own (or are buying
You and Dh own (or are buying) the current home, right? MIL has absolutely no involvement in the homeownership?
If so, I'd sell the current house. No way in h*ll would I ever live next to my MIL. She died of natural causes a good number of years ago, but if I had to have lived next to that woman, she would have been dead long before her natural calling end.
Honestly, any neighbor can be a royal pain and cause ridiculous strife , you it's one thing to have a troublesome HC neighbor and an entirely other thing to have that person be your busy body b*tch deliberate boundary pushing MIL. I live on a large property. I do so because I don't particularly care to have my neighbors too close and in my face. I enjoy the privacy my property allows me.
If you need a house in your current area surely there is another similar to your current home that does not include a built in MIL next door over. You could find a house similar in price and size or perhaps as you main residence would be shifting to a different locale entirely a newly selected home in current area for Dh to use when he is there and keep some of your possessions could be downsized to fit changing circumstances.
Living next to MIL. Having MIL invade your personal space. Having MIL terrorize your furbabies.... life is too short for that bull.
My former MIL lived across
My former MIL lived across the street and thought nothing of just walking into our home, whether we were there or not. ExDH had tolerated it when he was single and didn't understand why it was an issue for me. It took me 2 years to convince him that it wasn't rude to ask his mother not to just walk in, so I sympathize with you. I agree with the suggestions of an alarm system and also changing the locks. Or, sell the home and buy a small place that your DH can live in when he is there for military service.
Security system
My recently widowed mother just installed a security system in her home and I thought it was reasonable affordable depending on what you choose. It links to your line as well so you will know right away if someone enters your home. That way the cops can show up and MIl will have some answering to do for breaking in.
If you leave things in the house when you move out,
buy a safe for the important items. Change the locks in case she has keys. Put up cameras and consider an alarm.
I am so sorry you are in this situation - I would loose my mind.
Booby trap
Booby trap your property. Plant a rosebush or a large tree half way across the gateline. If she asks tell her the gate access to their property is unnecessary for you. If she tries to spy in windows, sprinkle flour ALL around the windows and doors on the outside so you can tell if she gets up close to your home. Binoculors .... I would tape a large sign to my picture window or the side of the bouse that says Trespassers will be prosecuted and anyone spying on your home will be reported to the NSA, CIA and local police for suspected spying for the Russians or other enemies of the USA. Or this sign ... "Hey! Stop being a Peeping Tom! That is illegal! You are being videoed for future prosecution." That would fix her. Then get magazine subscriptions sent to her home. When you go out make sure you leave something inside the door that will prove she had access to your home. In fact I would drive her crazy in a week.
Or just walk around the house naked and let DH know ahead of time.
Security system, change the
Security system, change the locks, and your husband tells his mother not to enter the house unless invited.