Why is BM always causing an issue with me
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Ok so my husband doesn't like to deal with his BM becasue of past drama so he goes through her mom (she lives with her). I have always try to be the peace making for the sake of my SS but BM seems to have a problem and think im speaking for my husband i am all for talking things out like an adult but she always start cursing and getting direspectful. I understand that she gets frustrated b/c my husband doesnt want to deal with her but that doesnt give her an excuse to direspect me. Does anyone else has this issue???
What would you do if
Bm was not bm but a neighbor or crappy co-worker?
Sorry you are going thru this. You appear to be very nice, wanting to smooth everything out. BUT your not being treated with the same respect and dignity you are giving....soooooooo,
Block her number, do not friend her on social media and IF you did, unfriend her.
If on the off chance you ride along for pick UP's or drops ...stop.
In otherwords become a ghost. If you happend to pick up a call from her be polite and say I will get DH. Do not allow her to chew you out about anything anymore. Defer her always to dh...ALWAYS.
Maybe she will become decent, maybe she wont. Keep your distance. If things heat up have dh call his lawyer and file harasment charges.
Your situation happens a lot in step land. Mostly by ex wives. Sad
Yes i agree i had told him
Yes i agree i had told him that day that i no longer want to deal with her i am stepping all the way back.
You both are making a rookie
You both are making a rookie mistake. Doing the communication for BM's ex husband is NOT YOUR JOB!!! Its HIS! Do not ever forget this golden rule in step land. You each deal with your own ex's. That was your choice to reproduce with that person, not your current spouse. There is no faster way to the looney bin then to have to deal with a high conflict ex that is not yours.
Shut down all avenues of communication, spying and whatever way you found BM getting info on you. Be brutal about it. Close ranks on your trusted circle of confidants, if they betray you, out they go.
It sounds radical and over the top but trust me, there are plenty on here that will back me up. It is NOT YOUR JOB.
You sound like the nicest
You sound like the nicest person on the planet, and I learned very soon (within 3 months) of starting to date my now-husband (10 years and going strong despite BM/SK drama) that BM had not one good intention towards me. I should have realized that her "heartfelt" email to me sent to my work email at 10 PM on Valentine's Day a few months after we started dating was an indicator of her obsession. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I assumed she (like me) was sane, nice, and could not care less about her ex-husband. Biggest mistake of my life. I figured since she in fact was the one who cheated, she would not feel she had any say-so in my husband's happiness. She had me followed by a private investigator and spread so many lies SHE is the one who has alienated herself through her own behavior. (We had a mutual friend.....one who won't even deal with her now.) 3 years into it, my DH only allowed communication through Family Wizard. I finally contacted her boyfriend and asked him when enough was enough..... She still rears her ugly head at times (give her an inch and she takes a mile) via email, but she is just a 100% self-loathing, self-sabotaging, horrible mother and horrible human being. He doesn't deal with her, and thank God I never did either. I would cut off all ties with her. Shut her off, guard your privacy. Nothing good ever comes of it.
It’s not you, it’s her.
It’s not you, it’s her. Sometimes it’s easier for them to believe it’s all coming from the “replacement” than their ex because that would mean accepting their ex doesn’t still want them and has moved on. Acting like he is letting you call the shots is their way of believing their ex still values them in some way and you’re just evil and misguiding them.