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Child Support and Taking Advantage?

MomOfTwo1313's picture

Submitted by MomOfTwo1313 on Tue, 09/04/2018 - 8:59pm

My husband has been on top of paying his child support for his kids for his two kids he had with his ex and has always been really responsible which I love. But he also gives her money ($500) for back to school clothes and we buy them the school supplies. Lately she’s been textin my husband for more financial help. Which he hides from me and does it so I won’t find out. She has a house of her own, she doesn’t work due to her overdosing and almost dying and she lost her job because she couldn’t handle it anymore. Right now she’s goin to school in the evenings, goes to concerts and spends 100$ on cigarette according to the kids. We share custody tue and thurs and every other weekend and the days we have them during the week we take them to school the next morning as a favor he agree with last school year. My husband works a lot so here I am responsible for 4 kids total. 2 of his, 1 mine and 1 baby we share. I put in all the work here at home with his kids and mine and act as a chofer to his kids since he comes home late from work. I help him with the business. I guess my point is that I’m helping him with the kids and business just to pay her while she does nothing. We even went out and bought groceries for the kids to make sure she had food at home since she claimed she didn’t have money to feed them. I have 1 son which he sees his father every other weekend and he doesn’t pay child support because he’s a deadbeat basically But my husband is always throwing that in my face. I feel like I work for him since I help him with the business. I’m honeslty angry and upset and not to be heartless but he’s seems very stupid to me. This feels like a joke... I need opinions and advise. I’m at the End of my rope 

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Wed, 09/05/2018 - 7:27am

If you insist on being with this lying, abusive man, you are just going to have to accept who and what he is.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Wed, 09/05/2018 - 8:16am

Lying is a big no for me. Second you start lying is the second you lose my trust. To me a relationship without trust isn't ever and won't ever be worth it.

You're working your a$$ off so his ex can sit on a pedistal. From teh sounds of it you've talked to him about it and nothing changes. There comes a point when you have to know how to respect yourself enough to throw in the towel. He's broken your trust, he's gettin gmad about you not getting CS in one breathe, while smuggling money to his ex in the other. It's a double standard, and not fair to you, or either of YOUR kids.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 09/05/2018 - 12:29pm

Double standard????

The OP's husband is the only one financially supporting her oldest child.  While he sounds like an awful, lying, abuser,  I don't see a double standard when it comes to his money.

While I wouldn't lie about how I spent my money on my kids(even if it were above and beyond CS), I can understand his comments about his SS's father not contributing financially.

Now, that does not excuse how he treats the OP.

 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Wed, 09/05/2018 - 2:13pm

It's a double standard because yes. He's supporting the kid, however he's also putting further financial strain on the household himself by giving the ex extra money. 

Both may be putting a financial strain on the household in a way. But she's expected to just deal with it while he b**** at her for his.