I am so excited to have found this site.  It has been a long road for my husband and I and I appreciate all input.  I am at my wit's end with my SD and am scared it might be the end of my marriage.  In brief, we have been married for 4 years - together for 5. My husband moved into my home - I was single for 5 years and had my home and cars. I have a 16 year old son that lives with me and his BD every other week.  My SD was always a bit of a misfit in high school.  I noticed she did not have friends and would always come to see my husband every other weekend, even at 17.  I was a little concerned that she did not have girl friends and would make mention of it. I was told she was just very shy.  However, when she was at my home, I could tell by her actions (very self centered) that she might be her own issue.  Her senior year of HS, she tried to take her own life by taking 12 Tylenol.  My husband was called by her BM and we rushed to the hospital.  I never downplayed this experience and she got into therapy and was diagnosed with depression.  She did graduate from high school that same Spring and elected to go off to college.  I personally did not think she was ready (6 hours from home) as I did not think she was mentally stable.  Unfortunately, I was correct.  After her first year of college, in the summer between what should have been her freshmen and sophomore year, my husband received a "text" from her saying she was not going back to college and wanted to stay close to her Dad and BM.  Her relationship with her BM is a bit strained - my SD would always talk about how self centered she was and how she was never home.  Her reasoning for staying close did not add up - so at dinner one night, since my husband despises conflict, I asked her if she was "kicked out."  Neither my husband or BM asked for grades - even though my husband was paying for school through a military benefit.  Long story - she was indeed not invited back (she never went to class) and wasted 15 hours of the military benefit.  Fast forward to now - she has a boyfriend (which was also a reason she did not want to return to college) that lives near us.  She decided about 8 months ago to live with us, go to community college and work.  She has bought herself a car (I bought her one when she was 17, however, it was totaled in a hail storm and it never got fixed so, thank goodness for GAP insurance -it covered it all). We did have to implement rules when she moved in - she was staying out very late at boyfriend's house and waking us up at 2-3am.  I have to get up at 5am to get to work on time. We implemented a 10pm curfew Sun-Thurs (she continually breaks it).  We have sat her down and asked to keep her room cleaned - which is an absolute mess - like gross mess!  She has taken over the entire bathroom, so my son now has to get ready in mine for school & work. All the drawers, cabinets, etc.  I do admit I like a tidy house, so I close the door to her bedroom and bathroom.  I have tried to let things go - she eats our food (does not financially contribute at all), comes and goes as she pleases (disregards the curfew), and walks all over her "Daddy" - my husband.  She has mocked my desire to keep a clean home and tight schedule. It is just the way I operate - I was single for 5 years so I am very proud to have my home and what I worked for prior to meeting her Dad.  She has made many comments in the short 8 months about "her bathroom," "her room," "her food," "her parking space," etc.  For example, I had a tutor for my son during the early summer and when SD would come home for lunch, she would comment to me, "Who is in my parking space?" This has happened on multiple occasions of her references to this home is hers.  Of course I want her comfortable, however, she has totally disrespected me in the aspect of keeping things clean. So, as opposed to causing issues, I just bite my lip and hope the living situation is temporary.  Last night I reached my breaking point. While trying to cook dinner, make a homecoming mum for my SS, take care of dogs, laundry, etc, she comes down stairs and complains that someone left a mess in her bathroom and she had to clean it up.  My son does have his friends over, so they are teenage boys.  She also mentioned that she had to pick up cheeze its on her stairs.  She continually refers to everything as "hers." I turned around and stated to her, I have cleaned up after you as well. We all live in a shared home - we all contribute to this home. I don't need to hear complaining, take action and let's all work together.  She started to cry and stormed out of kitchen and up to her room and slammed the door. She came back down about 10 minutes later and I tried to explain to her that we all live in this house and it takes all of us to keep it going. She looked at me and said, "your burst was uncalled for, I don't appreciate it."  I just about fell out.  I then angrily stated that you live in MY house, under my roof, eat my food, use my bedroom furniture.  I am an adult and I do absolutely nothing uncalled for.  All of my actions and words are deliberate for the betterment of my family.  Needless to say, she stormed off again and retreated to her room.  My husband went up to talk to her and she cried saying she was not welcome, she felt out of place.  Mind you, for the last 8 months, I have done nothing but make her feel at home. Do I ask for updates on grades while she is in college, of course.  Neither her BM or my husband did and she wants her degree so I try to keep her on course. I have offered to go with her to the community college to talk to a counselor to get her classes correct, offered to help her with homework and studying, cooked her meals (she has severe allergies), grocery shopped for her, opened our home to all her family to come see her, etc and I continually get crapped on.  Please know, I also carry the financial burden of our family cause we receive nothing from her BM since my 17 SS still lives with BM - my husband pays $750/month in child support.  This was my home prior to marriage and I feel betrayed by both her and my husband for the continual disrespect.  Please help - I need input as this is making me sick!