BM coming to get SD 2x a week
BM wants to come to our house twice a week to bring SD to gymnastics and then drop her off again right before bedtime. SD has never expressed any interest in gymnastics but my son goes to physical therapy at the gym it's at once a week so I guarantee that's what spurred it. Would you be fine with having to deal with BM showing up at your house 2 nights a week? Or do you have a situation where you have to?
- Jcksjj's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I'd say yes, unless you think
I'd say yes, unless you think she has some ulterior motive or she's trying to start trouble. But her picking up SD for gymnastics is better than signing SD up and demanding SO/DH transport her.
Well she always has an
Well she always has an ulterior motive but I have no idea what it is this time. I would guess it's to impress her boyfriend who is a Disney dad. My main concern is that before there was basically no set schedule and everything was changed on a weekly basis at BM and SDs whims (theres no custody order) and I dont want to go back to dealing with that again. I feel like saying yes to this means heading down that path again.
Is BM coming to your home to
Is BM coming to your home to take her child to activities BM signed child up for, IN the court order?
Its one thing on bm's time, BM can to take her to the moon if she wants to. It does not effect your home.
When the child is in your home BM is intruding into your family home and dynamic. BM should not do that. DH doesnt have to allow her either.
Look at their court order.
ONLY follow the order.
OP no one should think it is
OP no one should think it is ok to live on a whim.
Kids need schedules and that is why court orders with specifics about visitation are important. Think of it this way.
Schools...1st period is Math, 2nd period is Social Studies, 3r science. Lunch from 12 to 12 30pm, recess from 12;30 till 1pm. All schools have start times and end time with classes in between.
Companies have opening business times, lunch and closeing times. LIFE is filled with schedules. Do not allow yourself to be sucked into fly by the seat of your pants life.
NOT GOOD FOR KIDS. Kids need something they can count on,...just like school.
Time for court order...who pays child support? I bet that is court ordered.
I agree. The schedule needs
I agree. The schedule needs to be set and not change for minor things. I'm fine for it changing for bigger and/or more serious reasons. They have 50/50 with no court order, it's just what they agreed to between themselves. BM cried that they cant go to court because she doesnt want the state involved in her daughters life but in reality she just doesnt want boundaries she doesnt want to stick to. And believe it or not there is no child support order either, but BM does throw it in his face that she such a great person for not making him pay it even though she only wanted to have 50 percent custody.
Even though it creates some
Even though it creates some ambiguity to NOT have a court order, BM is wise in not wanting to go to court. If you do take it to court, DH is liable to walk out with a court order for Child Support and less flexibility.
I'd say that if SD wants to try gymnastics, let her - maybe DH should offer to transport on his days if he doesn't want BM to do it. Theses issues are so hard, because if he says NO to it altogether, it feels unfair to SD.
DH has absolutely no legal
DH has absolutely no legal rights right now because in my state if the parents were never married the mom automatically has 100% legal and physical custody. He cant technically even make decisions for her in a medical emergency. So I think he does need something in writing both for that and also because if she goes and files for child support he could end up paying years of back support for when they actually were doing 50/50 custody and it would be calculated as her having had 100%.
The conclusion was that she would just stay at BMs house on gymnastic nights because she wouldnt get back to our house until nearly bedtime anyway so I guess that ended up being a win anyway.
That's crazy! Would BM agree
That's crazy! Would BM agree to a parenting plan that they can have an attorney present to the judge, or would she fight anything being put in writing so she can have control?
BTW, she can only get CS back to the date she files.