New mom here. Hi! I'm at the end of my rope. My fiance and I have been together for five years. We are a blended family. I have three bio children (two adult, one 16 who has Aspergers). I have two first cousins that I raised when their mom, my aunt, passed away. He has two bio children (one adult, one 15). Together we are fostering a baby girl (now 2) who we've had since birth and we planned to adopt. 

Surprisingly, the issue is not the children. They have all adjusted and get along quite well. Our kids are respectful to us both. They all adore their new baby sister. 

I get along with my children's fathers. We have next to no contact. My exes are civil with us. His ex-wife is miserable, conniving and enjoys making my life miserable. She tries to ensure her kids don't like me and the kids avoid me when she can see. My fiance's ex and him are hockey parents. She behaves in a childish territorial manner to show me that she was first. I think she believes that she can take my fiance, and their family as it once was, back with the snap of her fingers. This is likely because of my fiance. He does everything she asks, and is still a confidant for her on things outside of the children. Every time I have brought up his continued emeshment with her and her family, he tells me I'm "crazy". He defends her every time I explain what she does to me. We've had numerous issues in the past due to his ex.

Lately, I found that he had been texting an old crush (who recently divorced). He deleted all the messages but two that he didn't realize we still there about the meeting that they arranged. He admitted to deleting the messages. But as always, she's nothing and I'm crazy again. 

Most recently, we were discussing him understanding that we have our own family now and that he should focus on standing with our unit as the primary family instead of with her and her family. He put his foot in his mouth and said that he and his ex are his children's family (as they are all blood). That hurt. I felt that our blended family, even with the new baby was placed second to their blood ties. 

I have stayed home with the new baby while he's continued to spend all his time as hockey dad in the evenings. I have felt lonely and disregarded. I do all the housework and cooking. I feel completely unappreciated. I am frequently hurt by his lack of consideration. And his lack of compassion (did I mention he disappears when things are not happy. He laughs at social media while I cry beside him). I am unsure if he's incapable of compassion but I've never been afforded any for the five years I've been with him. I suffer my hurts that come from this blended family completely alone, every single time.

I called off our wedding (which is in 6 months from now) last night and told him I'm leaving. I felt like I need to start protecting myself from the hurt of the constant up and down.

I guess since it's over, I am just venting.