This is going to be a bit long winded, this is my first time here and today is my last straw, this situation is ruining my marriage!  I have 2 step sons who are 29 and 27.  I have been with them since they were 4 and 6.  Most of our 20 year marriage has revolved around them and their Mother.  They lived in a different state but came and stayed with us all summer and Holidays when growing up.  We have 2 daughters toghether 18 and 15.  I have raised my daughters to that they were their brothers not half etc.  First mistake.  My SS were not raised the same by their mother to say that she has been ugly is an understatement. I have always sent presents to them for every Holdiay, Valentines, Easter, Halloween, taken them school clothes and supply shopping.  All still while paying child support  Never have I received a thank you.  As they got older they distanced themselves from us as teenagers do.  Then the oldest started coming around needing money, mind you we are still paying child support to his Mother. That seemed to be the only time that he would contact us.  Definitley a sticky issue between my Husband and I.  Then we get  a call from him at age 20 unwed stating that he and his girlfriend are pregnant.I was shocked at my Husbands reaction tears of joy and I am so happy for you.  This is my main issue with our situation.  If that had been one of our Daughters I guarentee you that would not have been his reaction.  He lets this kid get away with everything without parenting him.  Giving him the excuse that he didn't raise him full time., so what he gets to treat people like crap and to whatever he wants?! They did get married a year later,  my husband, my daughers and myself were not included in any part of the wedding or the showers, or the previous baby shower.  We traveled 1200 miles and gave money not to menion several meals for everyone, no thank you.  My Husband and I agreed before we went that if he did not start being a part of his sisters and our life after this then we are done.  Shocker he didn't and guess what not done.  Step Sons marriage is a mess then baby 2 comes.  I told husband I am not sending anymore gifts, they are not appreciated or even acknowledge, he proceedes to make me feel bad stating its not the kids fault.  I get that but come how much do you expect to me tolerate!  Said step son moves closer to us invites sisters to lunch, dosen;t offer to pay instead gives them the look like didn't Dad send money for all of us?  Was upset when he had to pay for his family.  My husband did tell him that you don't invite your sisters out to lunch and expect them to pay it just dosent work like that. I thought that things were going in the right direction, he invited us out to dinner for all of our Birthday's and picked up the check.  First gift ever I have received from him.  Then Christmas comes, shows up empty handed, then my youngest daughters Birthday nothing.  Now my oldest daughter is gradutating and has been accepted to college, not once has he congratulated her etc.  Yet finds the time to call her 3 times in 1 day to see if we can come to a Birthday party for his son which is on a day that we already have another olbigation, now my Husband says that he is going alone.  I found all of this out from my Daughter not my husband. I just can't handle the one sidedness of this whole situation anymore.  It is not about the gifts, it is about acknowleging your sisters and I have to sit and watch them be hurt by his actions, while my Husband says nothing.  It makes me so mad. It is so double sided!   We had the conversation today AGAIN!  He said what am I supposed to do, you don't understand they are not your Grandkids WHAT SERIOUSLY YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT, we have never talked like that.  So I said again we just let him treat people how ever he wants.  I turned it around and said that if our daughter had a family and showed up at Christmas and collected gifts from everyone there, came empty handed didn't get your son and his kids anything  and didn't thank anyone, you can guarantee her and I would be having a conversation before she left my home about how that is unaccetable.  I advised him that it is time for a man to man talk to find out what his problem is, stop skating around the issue.  He didn't like that,  he just wants me to stop complaining about it and let it be the way it is, I said what about your Daughters and how they feel dosen't that matter?  I just need some advice from other SM that may have been through this before, I am to the point that I cringe when he calls. my husand or my daughters.  I think that he has to be the most selfish immature person that I know.  I aslo feel horrible for the way that I feel:{  It can't keep going like this, I can't live like this the rest of my life!  We have one set of rules for our family on how we treat each other ETC but he gets a free pass and we are all supposed to just deal with it?  I call BS!  HELP PLEASE!!