Skids coming this weekend.
So last weekend my partner's ex informed him that the kids would not be available because they were going to a wedding. I know. You're supposed to say "Hey, is it okay if we trade weekends?" but she is a twat.
Honestly it was a welcome break for me since I took my kids and went to a hotel Memorial Day weekend after skid
1) smeared shit on the wall because we were out of TP
2) peed the bed after not putting on a Depend
3) failed to tell us she had an accident
I realize that if I'm going to be with my partner, these kids are going to be in my life. So I'm trying to approach the weekend with a positive attitude and water under the bridge.
I did some research on Scatolia (poop smearing. Yes it has a name) and it is often a sign of abuse. CPS already concluded an investigation partner instigated. I'm afraid that if he calls CPS again, BM will try to insist that the abuse is taking place in my home because supposedly skid doesn't smear shit in her mother's home.
I'm not sure if this is a pattern or an isolated incident, but on the off chance that it is an isolated incident, I'm trying to be positive
A lot of what I read focuses on not shaming the child or getting upset. If this continues, I'm not gonna be able to refrain from "shaming" her. I know that much.
I guess I'm just venting because I realize I'm not ready to call it quits in my relationship.
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Are you making Your DH cleaning up
The bathroom?? Is he cleaning the beds.? I would totally disengage from the circus. He wants the kids to stay then he takes care of there mess. This is no way to live ! I don’t know how you put up with all of this
He makes her clean it. But
He makes her clean it. But he made her clean it with wet tp which is a problem because
1) Clorox wipe
2) I've tried to convey to this child in the past that tp is for butts and nothing else. It breaks down in water. We don't use it as a washcloth and leave it in the sink etc
so I was annoyed when he told me that he told her to use wet toilet paper because Jesus. I've already tried to tell her to stop using toilet paper to clean things up. But at least he did make her clean it. I'm trying to convey to her that even if she cleans up a mess it's still not okay that she made a mess in the first place. For example when she scribbled on the walls. I calmly handed her a magic eraser and told her to wipe it up instead of screaming at her which is what I want to do. But for fucksake. Why did she do that in the first place?
I can't believe it has a name
I can't believe it has a name! I'm sorry you are going through this. I feel ya. Step life is exhausting.
You know how when you Google
You know how when you Google symptoms of any illness, WebMD always tells you that it's a sign of cancer? Abuse is pretty similar. How one reacts to abuse is dependent on the abuse and what that person has been conditioned to think about that abuse.
So, while poop smearing and bed wetting are signs of abuse, they are also signs of a kid who is being coached by another parent to be a heathen. Or signs of an unparented kid. Or, dependent on age, just being a kid. Or a sign of constipation.
Point is, look for a pattern. If it happens again this weekend, it might be best to take SD to the doctor and let them examine her. If there are signs of abuse, they'll contact CPS (downside to that is your house will also be investigated more than likely). If you all think she really is being abused but are worried about contacting CPS again, contact a lawyer. They can help you figure out what to do and how to build a case.
It can be a sign of abuse,
It can be a sign of abuse, but since there is no proof, treat it like bedwetting. Her father should have her put on gloves and clean it up herself, without shaming or anger. Same with the bed wetting. Have her change her sheets and show her how to do laundry, again without anger or shaming. You should do none of that, it’s her father’s job.
And get her a therapist.
He got both of his kids a
He got both of his kids a therapist and my daughter is going to a therapist so that she can Express her frustration with these step-siblings and we can all deal with some better ways to make it easier for her. Their first appointment is Saturday.
I can only imagine how
I can only imagine how difficult this must be especially with the bed wetting and poop smearing. Tog & the other posters had some good suggestions. SD really needs help and hopefully you all can get down to the root of the problem as to why she's doing this. Patience is a virtue and yours is being tested big time.
If you were out of TP.. I
If you were out of TP.. I think that could have been just a "bad decision" and unless it was a constant issue.. even when TP is available.. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions on abuse.
Failing to tell you she had an accident.. also 100% understandable as she wouldn't have wanted to be scolded or to upset you guys.. she knows it does.
Forgetting the depends.. kids are flea brained sometimes.
I wouldn't read all that much into these things.. seems like they could happen with any kid at one time or another.
damn
Well how old is she? because its seems like this is a huge cry for attention I agree almost everything Dr google advises is either cancer or abuse. If she hasnt been diagnosed with being on the autisim spectrum it sounds like an attention seeker. I relly feel for you, with no judement and i believe that is the grace if this site all us step parents need a venting portal because we dont want to call quits on our relationship and need a 3rd party to vent to thats not emotionally invested in our problems. I truly think that with age this will go away. Until then its not a rediclous idea to have your husband take her to some kind of thearapy because attention seeking kids that dont get any help become entitled, insecure adults. I do hope it gets better for you.
She's 9. She's not autistic.
She's 9. She's not autistic. My son is. Part of this is me trying to be understanding because my partner is understanding of my child. Mostly.
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