Extended Step Family Drama
I have assisted in raising SS since he was 1. His Mom and DH were never married, just dated and tried to make it work but it was just too toxic. BM and DH would have me “babysit” handle transportation, watch BM second child etc. all before DH and I were married. BM lives with her Mom and she has basically raised SS since he was born while BM was out partying on a regular basis and disappearing for days on end. They tried to make it work outside of court but BM was still in love with DH so when we started to get even more serious and he would turn down her advances she decided to make an official CS order. She ended up getting less than what he was giving her and DH got more time that he was always asking for. Fast forward 9 years and DH is now primary parent with split time actually being 50/50. When this first happened we were always allowing SS to go to all family events even on “our” time but now it’s gotten so petty that when we ask for my family events they try to tell me it’s not SS family..... you can use me for years on end, try to get a yes through me when you can’t get it through DH, have me watch your other kids, call me and say your daughter is unfit to raise SS, but not that we put our foot down and say she’s not being fair NOW I’m not family enough? This was a jumpy rant that I skipped around a lot but ugh.... I needed to get the brunt of it off my chest.
- Sahm73's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Hun how on earth did you get suckered
Into babysitting the exwifes 2nd kid (i’m assuming not hubbys kid). How on earth was that your responsibility?? Did hubby guily you into it??
I thought we had mutual
I thought we had mutual respect for one another once upon a time and I felt for her as a woman and how hard it must be to be a single mom and was always there to lend a helping hand. I was hoping it was more of a friendly relationship than just being used. No, he told me don’t do it and that she was bad news. Should have listened to him.
BM and DH would have me
BM and DH would have me “babysit” handle transportation, watch BM second child etc.
What do you meant, they would "have" you? You could have said no. Why would you watch BM's second child?
I get it, you feel that after doing these favors all of these years, it would be reciprocated but you forgot to read the Crazy/High Conflict BM handbook. Pretty sure the first sentence is: BM is NOT your friend.
Stop doing favors for BM and stop letting BM and her family use you as a go between.
I mean as in ask/allow, idk
I mean as in ask/allow, idk how you’re getting hung up on the “have me” part. I wanted this situation to be a peaceful one where we could all get a long and I could help and she was a single mom at the time and I felt for her on that. Wanted to give her a bigger support system. You’re right tho, she’s not my friend and I’m ending my effort. I just wanted SS to see that he always came first no matter what.
BM and DH would have me
BM and DH would have me “babysit” handle transportation, watch BM second child etc. all before DH and I were married.
^^^^^^^^^Why did you allow yourself to do this? BM used you at her disposal and she will ALWAYS have the mindset your family isn't SS's. Just try to stick to the CO and have your H deal with her. You don't have to have contact with her and to be honest what she says or thinks about you and yours is not your concern. Don't give her the satisfaction to think that what she feels is relevant to you.
Just thought and hoped that
Just thought and hoped that her and I having a good relationship in the long one would be beneficial for SS since DH and BM can’t hold a conversation without someone insulting the other.
I just really need some
I just really need some advice that isn’t along the lines of “you’re an idiot for trying so hard”
i love DH and SS so much. I feel a fierce mama bear protection over him because I’m there no matter what even when no one else can or wants to be. I do respect BM as BM but that’s where the line ends. Idk, it’s tough loving a kid that’s not biologically yours.